And in that moment, even though he didn’t know who the hell this woman was, he was sorely tempted to believe he could trust her with his life.
A temptation that scared the hell out of him.
Deliberately looking away, Steve leaned against the wall at the foot of the stairs and let out a sigh. “It’s been…hard, to say the least. Hell, my life has been about as uneventful as a human’s can be, I suppose. Oh, there’ve been the usual disappointments and heartaches, but nothing like…”
He lifted his hand, let it fall with a slap to his thigh. “Criminy, Lisa, I’m in so far over my head with this, it isn’t even funny. Dylan nearly died, too, from smoke inhalation. And even though he won’t talk about it much, I know Mac blames himself for not being able to save his mother. Each kid reacted, is still reacting, differently. Some days seem fairly normal, you know? And I think, okay, maybe we’re moving on, maybe the worst is over. And then, bam! We’re right back where we started and all I know is if there was any way in God’s earth I could take away their pain, I would. But I just don’t know how. And why the hell am I telling you all this?”
She’d been standing apart from him, just listening, her arms folded underneath her breasts. Now those breasts rose with the force of her sigh as she shook her head. “Because you needed to,” she said, just as a very indignant little girl appeared at the head of the stairs, demanding to know where “lady” was.
For at least a full minute, Sophie barely heard Rosie’s chatter.
Her work brought her into constant contact with human trials. Yet, for all the horror stories she’d heard, the aftermaths she’d witnessed, none had pierced her heart more than this. But why? Certainly, as tragic as this situation was, the plight of these particular children was no more poignant than the thousands of others she’d been privy to over the years.
But it was, she realized, much more personal, somehow. And rekindled memories she’d thought long since faded and worn and harmless.
Not to mention stirred all sorts of highly inappropriate feelings for the man who’d taken all this on, feelings she had no business entertaining, even for a few minutes. Still, when was the last time she’d met a man strong enough to admit he didn’t have all the answers?
And who would have guessed that masculine vulnerability could be so appealing?
Seated on Rosie’s toddler bed—which was so close to the girls’ bunk beds, there was barely any room to move—Sophie took in the heaps of scattered clothes, the open, jumbled closet, the pop star posters covering most of the wall space, the PC set up on somebody’s desk. Her closet was twice the size of this room, she thought in amazement as she helped the toddler into a pair of patterned shorts and a bright blue T-shirt. She imagined the cramped quarters bred a fair number of fights, whether the girls had chosen to live like oysters in a tin or not. But she also imagined, despite everything the girls had gone through, there was a lot of giggling in here at night when they were supposed to be asleep, a lot of secrets shared and promises made. A sense of normalcy Sophie had always craved but never known.
And never would. Not really.
Tenderness stirred languidly through Sophie as Rosie showed off an obviously new collection of stuffed animals, snapping into something no less tender but far sharper when she remembered the fierceness of Steven’s gaze when he spoke of the children, the haunted, hungry shadows in his eyes whenever he looked at her. Oh, she doubted he had any idea of the shadows’ existence, that anyone else could see them, but they were there all the same.
It was, however, not her place to even begin to identify those shadows, let alone attempt to dispel them. Because if she let herself get close enough to do either, they would surely suck her in.
So she smiled instead for her new little friend, tentatively touching her sleek, dark hair even though she knew just how dangerous it was to allow herself that simple luxury of touching, of making a connection which would, inevitably, have to be broken. “Shall we go find Steven?” she said, and Rosie nodded, spinning around to grab the drab, precious little quilt off the bed.
Chapter 4
The little girl’s resumed chatter as they returned downstairs momentarily obscured the fact that Steven was in the middle of a very heated argument with someone on the phone.
“Look, Ms. Jefferson, I appreciate Family Services’s position.” His voice at once soft and feral—Papa wolf protecting his pups, Sophie realized—Steven shifted to haul Rosie up into his arms, cradling the phone between his jaw and shoulder. “But consistency, they’ve got. I’m the constant in their lives, okay? Maybe I can’t help it that the Fairy Godmother hasn’t been doing so hot when it comes to doling out housekeepers who have a clue how to handle a batch of kids, but nobody—nobody—is going to take them away from this place. From me.”
Brittle silence followed, during which Sophie was afraid to breathe.
After a moment, Steven said, “I’ve been warned, in other words…yeah, I understand. Two days.” He came within a breath of slamming down the phone, then jerked to attention when he realized Sophie was standing there.
“You ever feel like the world’s pulling you in seventeen different directions?”
Her heart knocked in recognition. “Often,” she said, earning her a curious glance. But before that curiosity had a chance to form a question, she formed one of her own. “And which direction is yelling the loudest?”
He shifted the baby in his arms. “Guess.”
The phone rang; he snatched it up, leaving her to survey the living room.
Despite the messiness, she liked it. She liked it very much. It was a crazy house, she’d decided, the rooms rather stuck onto each other as need, not any sense of design, dictated. The floors creaked, and the wind probably seeped through like water through a sieve in the winter, but who cared? The furniture was basic and well-worn, the kind that invited you to go ahead and eat in the living room if you wanted to, it didn’t mind. A person—a woman—could feel very much at home here.
Not that she could be that woman, but still.
She brushed back her hair from her face as a breeze, soft as a toddler’s kiss and scented with roses and new-mown grass, floated in through the open, curtainless windows. A thousand watts of sunlight flooded in as well, bouncing off unevenly-plastered walls the color of vanilla custard.
It was then that she noticed the photographs, mostly black-and-white and framed in simple white mats and dull silver frames, lining the far wall of the room. Portraits, mostly. But not just of people. Of life. Family life. She recognized Steve’s brood in several of them, although most were of people she didn’t know. In one, a pretty blonde laughed at a man with a ponytail and earring as he tossed a little girl in the air. In another, water droplets sparkled like frozen diamonds across the shot as a family with two tall teens and a pair of toddlers splashed each other in a swimming pool.
But the one that most caught her attention, at which she simply stared for a full minute, was one in which a man, his dark hair mussed like a bad wig, sat slouched in a restaurant booth with his chin in his hand, the light from the window slashing across his handsome face as he watched a woman and a little girl “talking” to each other a few feet away, their hands flying so fast, part of the picture was a blur. The pair were signing to each other, she realized. But the love shining from the man’s eyes, the adoration tilting his lips into a gentle smile as he watched who Sophie assumed were his wife and daughter so leapt from the photo, she almost felt like a voyeur.
She could feel Steven watching her.
Sophie turned, her eyes stinging, to see him buttoning up a blue-and-green plaid cotton shirt over the white T-shirt. “These are incredible,” she said softly. “Anybody can take pictures, but these…” She gestured toward the photos, shaking her head. “It must be very difficult to capture the emotion behind a photo.”
His fingers stilled on the buttons,