She could have left. While he was undressing she could have got off his bed and made for the door. So why hadn’t she? Because she wanted it as much as he did! She had lain there and watched as each inch of his flesh was exposed. It was so familiar to her, so incredibly powerful, that she hadn’t been able to move.
And this time when he made love to her there were no preliminaries. No long drawn out foreplay, no teasing, no enticing and encouraging. He held himself over her for just a second before he entered her, a second when his eyes were asking whether she wanted to run.
But by then Lucinda’s heart was racing and her hormones dancing and the very thought of him taking her like this held a very different kind of excitement. It wasn’t until he had entered her that she realised he was not using protection. On all other occasions he had, but this time he’d been in too much of a hurry.
It was too late now to worry about it and with a bit of luck it was the wrong time of her monthly cycle. There were much deeper issues to think about. Like the fact that she was still in love with him—despite everything! And the fact that his lovemaking was coming to a grand finale far too quickly!
She could feel her climax rising within her and she knew that Zane was nearing his own. She cried out as he collapsed on top of her, his breathing ragged, hers the same as sensation after exquisite sensation made her writhe beneath him, as her whole body throbbed and her throat went tight.
And then they were still.
For a long time they were still.
Until Zane slowly rolled away from her! Their eyes met and his no longer twinkled. They were filled with soul-destroying sadness instead.
Lucinda turned away; she couldn’t bear to look at him. She didn’t know why he was sad. Anger she could have understood—it was what had started this off, but sadness? Perhaps he wanted their affair to carry on but knew that it couldn’t? No, that wouldn’t make him sad. Zane was the sort of man who hopped from one girl to another without giving them a second thought.
She must have been mistaken because he sat up now and looked at her again and there was nothing to suggest sadness. ‘I had to do that, Lucinda.’
She nodded.
‘You could have stopped me.’
She nodded again.
‘Am I to take it then that you didn’t mind?’
How could she answer that? She did and she didn’t. She was crazy where this man was concerned. It didn’t matter what rational thoughts entered her head, they took off in all the wrong directions whenever he chose to take control.
He was very good at taking control. It was almost as though he hypnotised her into doing things against her will. He had the power to make her think that she wanted what he wanted. How could that be?
‘Lucinda?’
He touched a finger to her chin and forced her to look at him. ‘I asked whether you minded?’
Slowly she shook her head. ‘But I would like to go to my room.’ She got up off the bed and, hugging her clothes to her, headed for the door. He let her go. And, completely naked, she walked along the corridor to her own room. Where she threw herself down on the bed and cried.
Zane was shocked by how easily Lucinda had capitulated, and ashamed for forcing himself on her. He would have let her go if she had fought him off, but she hadn’t, and now he felt guilty. He didn’t feel the pleasure he normally associated with making love to Lucinda, and this was alien to him.
Out in St Lucia, each time they had made love it had been an experience to surpass all other experiences. They had both risen to great heights and no regrets had ever been felt. Now he felt a heel. He ought not to have done it. On the other hand, Lucinda could have stopped him. It was her fault as much as his.
He made himself think that as he showered and dressed and when he went downstairs Tim had woken and was demanding his attention. ‘Where’s Lucy?’ his nephew asked.
‘She’s resting,’ answered Zane. ‘I think you wore her out swimming.’
‘She says I’m good,’ said Tim proudly.
‘You are.’
‘Can I swim again, then?’
Zane shook his head. ‘Not today! I’m going to take you to see Nanna. Lucinda has work to do.’ He wasn’t sure about that but he did know that she would not welcome spending time with him. Which was a shame because that was the reason he had come home early.
And what had he done? Hurt her beyond measure. How could he even look her in the face again? His only consolation was that she hadn’t stopped him. It must mean that she still felt something. When they were on the island she had often instigated their lovemaking, making him believe that she was as happy with the situation as he was.
Why then, now that they were back here in London, had she completely changed? Was it the location that had turned her into a sultry seductress? Was she not normally like that? He didn’t know what to think any more. All he knew was that he couldn’t get her out of his head. Unlike other girls he’d slept with, Lucinda had left a lasting impression.
At the hospital Helen looked so very much worse than the last time he had seen her and he could understand why Lucinda had railed against him. If Helen didn’t improve then it looked very much as though he would have to take Tim on full-time. Who, though, would he get to look after him?
A full-time nanny—or a wife? This was something he had never contemplated before. Didn’t want to contemplate. On the other hand, he couldn’t let Tim down. He was such an engaging little boy. If he ever had children, heaven forbid, he would like them to be just like Tim.
Lucinda spent the rest of the afternoon at her desk. She had heard Zane and Tim go out and couldn’t begin to describe the relief she felt. How could she have let Zane make love to her again? Her brain must have fried out there in the Caribbean. She was no more over him than she had been during those magical days.
Love came in many guises and hers had crept up on her unawares and unhappily refused to go away. She was so afraid that Zane would see how she felt and that he would take advantage. Today had proven how weak she was and if he had any idea her life wouldn’t be her own any more.
And the cruellest part of all would be when he dumped her at the end, when he’d tired of her, as he most probably would. Zane’s type never committed. It really had been the biggest mistake of her life coming here. Zane had her in his clutches—again; maybe that was even what he’d had in mind. Maybe it wasn’t for Tim’s sake.
Lucinda’s anger grew and when they returned she made a fuss of Tim but totally ignored Zane. She pretended not to notice his frown, the way he kept looking at her and asking silent questions.
She played with Tim, she gave him his tea, she bathed him and put him to bed and all the time she said not one single word to Zane.
But she might have known that she couldn’t go through the rest of the night like that. As soon as he had her to himself Zane demanded to know what was wrong.
‘Nothing,’ she answered coolly, averting her eyes because she knew that if she looked into his she would weaken. They mesmerised her. They were like pools of silky smooth water that she could dive into—and then drown in a sea of passion.
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ he snarled. ‘You’ve ignored me completely for the last few hours. I’m not a fool, Lucinda.’
‘And nor am I,’ she tossed back furiously. ‘So don’t take me for one.’
Zane frowned. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘Don’t ever,’ she spat, ‘ever take advantage of me again.’
‘So that’s it, is it?’ he asked, enlightenment in his eyes. ‘Forgive me if I’m wrong, but you didn’t complain at