She paused, her expression pensive. “I do regret that we never had the chance to build the life we talked about those first few months of our marriage. Children, a mortgage, a couple of dogs. We missed all that.”
Not much of a sacrifice, he thought. He would be quite happy not to have that sort of trouble in his life.
“I’ll probably always regret that,” she went on. “Unfortunately, I can’t change the past. I can only look forward and try to make the best of everything that comes next.”
They lapsed into a silence broken only by the horses stamping and snorting behind them and the distant lapping of the water.
She was the first to break the temporary peace. “We’d better go check on Jo, don’t you think?”
He jerked his mind away from how very much he wanted to kiss her right this moment, with the moonlight gleaming through the trees and the night creatures singing an accompaniment. “Right. Will you be okay without a flashlight?”
“I’ll manage. Just lead the way.”
He headed up the trail toward Jo, astonished that his most pressing regret right now was the end of their brief interlude in the moonlight.
* * *
THOUGH TESS LOVED living in the Mountain West for the people and the scenery and the generally slower pace of life, she had never really considered herself a nature girl.
As a bank manager and accountant, her father hadn’t been the sort to take her camping and fishing when she was younger. Later, she’d been too busy, first in college and then taking care of Scott, to find much time to enjoy the backcountry.
But she had to admit she found something serene and peaceful about being here with the glittery stars overhead and that huge glowing moon filtering through the trees and the night alive with sounds and smells.
Well, it would have been serene if she weren’t so intensely aware of Quinn walking just ahead of her, moving with long-limbed confidence through the darkness.
The man exuded sensuality. She sighed, wishing she could ignore his effect on her. She disliked the way her heart picked up a beat or two, the little churn of her blood, the way she couldn’t seem to keep herself from stealing secret little glances at him as they made their way toward the lake and Jo.
She hadn’t missed that moment of awareness in his eyes back there, the heat that suddenly shivered through the air like fireflies on a summer night.
He was attracted to her, though she had a strong sense he found the idea more than appalling.
Her gaze skidded to his powerful shoulders under his denim jacket, to the dark hair that brushed his collar under his Stetson, and her insides trembled.
For a moment there, she had been quite certain he wanted to kiss her, though she couldn’t quite fathom it. How long had it been since she knew the heady, exhilarating impact of desire in a man’s eyes? Longer than she cared to remember. The men in town didn’t tend to look at her as a woman with the very real and human hunger to be cherished and touched.
In the eyes of most people in Pine Gulch, that woman had been somehow absorbed into the loving, dutiful caretaker, leaving no room for more. Even after Scott’s death, people still seemed to see her as a nurturer, not the flirty, sexy, fun-loving Tess she thought might still be buried somewhere deep inside her.
Seeing that heat kindle in his eyes, replacing his typical animosity, had been both flattering and disconcerting and for a moment, she had been mortified at her little spurt of panic, the fear that she had no idea how to respond.
She just needed practice, she assured herself. That’s why she was moving to Portland, so she could be around people who saw her as more than just Pine Gulch’s version of Mother Teresa.
They walked the short distance through the pines and aspens, their trail lit only by pale moonlight and the glow of a small flashlight he produced from the pocket of his denim jacket. When they reached the lake a few moments later, Tess saw Jo on a bench on the shore, the dogs at her feet. She sat unmoving, so still that for a moment, Tess feared the worst.
But Quinn’s boot snapped a twig at that moment and Jo turned her head. Though they were still a few yards away, Tess could see the glow on her features shining through clearly, even in the moonlight. Her friend smiled at them and for one precious instant, she looked younger, happier. Whole.
“There you are. I was afraid the two of you were lost.”
Quinn slanted Tess a sidelong look before turning his attention back to his foster mother. “No. I thought you might like a few moments to yourself up here.”
Jo smiled at him as she reached a hand out to Tess to draw her down beside her on the bench. When she saw the blankets tucked around Jo’s shoulders and across her lap, everything inside her went a little gooey that Quinn had taken such great care to ensure his foster mother’s comfort.
“Isn’t it lovely, my dear?”
“Breathtaking,” Tess assured her, her hand still enclosed around Jo’s thin fingers.
They sat like that for a moment with Quinn standing beside them. The moon glowed off the rocky face of the mountains ringing the lake, reflecting in water that seethed and bubbled as if it was some sort of hot springs. After several moments of watching it, Tess realized the percolating effect was achieved by dozens of fish rising to the surface for night-flying insects.
“It’s enchanting,” she said to Jo, squeezing her fingers. She didn’t add that this moment, this shared beauty, was almost worth that miserable horseback ride up the mountainside.
“This is such a gift. I cannot tell you how deeply it touches me. I have missed these mountains so much these past weeks while I’ve been stuck at home. Thank you both so very much.”
Jo’s smile was wide and genuine but Tess didn’t miss the lines of pain beneath it that radiated from her mouth.
Quinn must have noticed them as well. “I’d love to stay here longer,” he said after a moment, “but we had better get you back. Tess has other patients.”
Jo nodded, a little sadly, Tess thought. A lump rose in her throat as the other woman rose, her face tilted to the huge full moon. Jo closed her eyes, inhaled a deep breath of mountain air, then let it out slowly before turning back to Quinn.
“I’m ready.”
Her chest felt achy and tight with unshed tears watching Jo say this private goodbye to a place she loved. It didn’t help her emotions at all when Quinn carefully and tenderly scooped Jo into his arms and carried her back toward the waiting horses.
She pushed back the tears as she awkwardly mounted her horse, knowing Jo wouldn’t welcome them at all. The older woman accepted her impending passing with grace and acceptance, something Tess could only wish on all her patients.
The ride down was slightly easier than the way up had been, though she wouldn’t have expected it. In her limited experience on the back of a horse, gravity hadn’t always been her friend.
Perhaps she was a tiny bit more loose and relaxed than she had been on the way up. At least she didn’t grip the reins quite so tightly and her body seemed to more readily pick up the rhythm of the horse’s gait.
She had heard somewhere that horses were sensitive creatures who picked up on those sorts of things like anxiety and apprehension. Maybe the little mare was just giving her the benefit of the doubt.
As she had on the way up the trail, she rode in the rear of their little group, behind the two black and white dogs and Quinn and Jo, which gave her the opportunity to watch