“Nate, I don’t see how my staying here for a month or even two weeks will prove anything,” she said, shaking her head. He didn’t love her and that was that. There was no sense wasting her vacation time on something that, in the end, wouldn’t change that fact.
“What do you have to lose?” he asked.
“The vacation I intended to take after the baby is born,” she answered. As well as what’s left of my heart after you broke it the last time.
“If I can’t convince you that I’m completely sincere about our being a family, then we’ll call the lawyers and let them work out an agreement,” he said, oblivious to her inner turmoil.
“I can’t go to the party,” she stalled. “I don’t have anything to wear.”
If she went along with his request and stayed for any length of time, she was afraid she would be tempted to fall back into their old pattern of him charming her into his bed. That was the last thing she wanted to happen. There was simply too much at stake now. The baby was counting on her to stay strong and resist the temptation Nate posed.
“I’ve already taken care of something for you to wear to the party,” he said, looking quite pleased with himself. “I called Sam’s wife, Bria. She and her sister, Mariah, were going to pick up their outfits at the costume shop up in Fort Worth. I asked her to pick out something for you and stop by one of the women’s shops to get you a full change of clothes for tomorrow.”
“Please tell me you didn’t let her know about my pregnancy,” she said, reaching up to rub at the sudden pounding in her temples.
“No, I thought we could tell everyone together tonight at the party,” he said. “I just told Bria that you’re about the size of our other sister-in-law Summer and that you liked your clothes nice and loose.” He glanced down at her stomach. “I figured you might need a little extra room for the baby.”
“I haven’t said I would go to the party,” she reminded him.
“You haven’t said you wouldn’t.” His sexy grin told her he knew he was wearing her down.
She supposed that if she did stay, it would be as good a time as any to tell his family about the baby. And if she was present she would have a little more control over what he told them. As persistent as he was about convincing her to marry him, he’d probably tell his family that they were planning a trip down the aisle as well as about her pregnancy.
Being there to stop him from misleading his family would be the wisest choice. She wasn’t going to marry him and set herself and the baby up for the heartbreak of watching him leave when he got bored.
“If I stay for the party, that doesn’t mean I would be here for an extended period of time,” she reminded him.
He stared at her for several long seconds before he cupped her face with his hands. “Jessie, you’ve experienced all of this from the moment you learned you were pregnant. But I’ve missed out on a lot these last four and a half months and I really don’t want to miss any more. I promise that if you’ll stay with me for the next month, I won’t push for anything more than you’re willing to give. This time will not only give us the opportunity to explore every option and be sure we’re making the right decisions, it will give me the chance to feel like I’m really a part of this and get used to the idea of being a dad.”
The sincerity in his voice and the heartfelt look on his face produced the results she was certain he had been going for. Now if she didn’t stay, she’d feel so guilty about it she’d probably never be able to sleep again.
She’d had almost five months to get used to the idea of becoming a mother. Nate had had less than twenty-four hours to come to terms with being a father and she was sure it was still pretty unreal for him. And he did have a point about making decisions concerning how they raised their child. Their baby deserved to have its parents making the choices instead of stuffy lawyers spouting out legalese. She was going to have to figure out how to deal with Nate for the next eighteen or so years anyway. She might as well start now.
“I would have to go back home to get some clothes,” she warned. Between now and the trip back to her apartment, she would hopefully be able to harden her resolve and shore up her defenses against his charismatic charm. In the past, she’d had about as much backbone as a jellyfish when it came to resisting Nate, and spending a month with him would be a true test of her willpower. But she could understand his wanting to take an active role in the pregnancy. It would be a good start to his bonding with the baby and that was something she wanted for her child.
“We can go to your place tomorrow and get whatever you need.” His expression turned serious. “I really want this opportunity for us, Jessie. Please say you’ll stay.”
She might have had a chance if he had been demanding or insistent. But the sincere tone of his voice and the hopeful look in his eyes were impossible to resist. Maybe she needed this test to prove to herself that they could raise their child together without her falling into bed with him again.
“All right, I’ll arrange to take the time off and stay until the weekend after Thanksgiving,” she heard herself say. “But only on one condition.”
“What’s that, darlin’?” he asked, lowering his head to brush her lips with his.
“I don’t want any pressure from you about getting married,” she stated flatly as she backed away from him.
“I promise.”
“I’m only here for you to prove to me that you’re sincere about wanting this baby as much as I do and to work out custody and visitation.” As an afterthought, she added, “And just for the record, at night I’ll be staying in one room and you’ll be staying in another.”
Standing with his brothers at the makeshift bar his hired men had constructed for the party, Nate was only half listening to the conversation about his brother’s rodeo stock company and the bucking bulls he owned that had been selected for the National Finals Rodeo. He was too busy watching Jessie. She was as cute as a button in the girl garden-gnome costume that Bria had picked up for her to wear to the party. She’d had to leave the vest off because it was too formfitting, but the white apron over her full red skirt hid her rounded stomach just fine.
Seated on a bale of hay, Jessie was listening attentively to his two nephews Seth and little Hank jabber about their new ponies. He could tell by the way she smiled at the little boys going on about riding their “horsies” that she loved kids. When his niece Katie toddled over to her, Jessie picked up the baby girl to sit on her lap without a moment’s hesitation. She was going to be a great mom, and he could only hope to be half as good of a dad.
His heart stuttered and he had to take a deep breath to chase away the fear tightening his chest. Just the thought of being a daddy scared the living spit out of him. What if he couldn’t live up to the responsibility? He was a fantastic uncle to his niece and nephews. But that role didn’t carry nearly as much responsibility as being a father. What kind of dad would he be?
His biggest fear had always been that he would turn out to be as negligent and undependable as his and Sam’s father had been. That’s why he’d never really thought about having kids. Hell, he hadn’t even thought about having a wife because of it. But it was all he’d been able to think about for the past twenty-four hours. Could he live up to his responsibilities?
Of the six men he called his brothers, Sam was his only biological sibling and had turned out to be as solid as a rock. He was the exact opposite of their old man, and it gave Nate hope that he would be just as reliable as Sam. But how would he know for sure?
“So what’s up with you, Nate?” T. J. Malloy asked, interrupting Nate’s disturbing thoughts.