“I should have done that, I agree.”
“Recriminations aren’t going to help. I’m just trying to explain my actions.”
“You can’t ever explain not letting me know,” he said.
“I just did. Would you have wanted to tell your fiancée you had recently gotten me pregnant? You married and occasionally I saw pictures in the news of you with your wife and you looked happy. Why would I think you would want my baby just when you married Karen?”
Knowing she was right, he didn’t care. The knowledge that he had a son was far more important.
“I’ve missed all his first years. I missed his babyhood. He doesn’t know me. He doesn’t even know I exist, does he?”
“No, he’s little.”
“Dammit, Claire, I’ve missed too much.”
“Hindsight is always better,” she replied, looking pained. “I’ve told you why I did what I did. It’s that simple. But I will say this. This son is not going to help your political life, I promise you.”
“I don’t give a damn about that. It’s far more important that I know my son.”
“You say that now, but you don’t really mean it. Your adult life has revolved around politics and rising to the next office,” she said.
“I mean it, Claire. My son is my future, not a job. You can’t keep me from getting to know him.”
“I don’t plan to, Nick. That’s why I’ve told you about him.” She glanced away. “But your family will not be happy, especially your father. You know he would not have been happy to hear about a child—not then and not now.”
Nick inhaled and clenched his fists, trying to hang on to his temper. “You took those years from me, and I can never get them back.”
She wiped the tears from her eyes. “I regret that now.”
“I’ve been through hell the past two years. I lost my wife and baby. I could have filled part of that void and helped the hurt by knowing my son. I can’t believe you did this to me.”
She looked at him. “Nick, I’m so sorry for your loss and if I had known—” She bit off her words and wrung her hands. “I wish I could undo the past few years, but I can’t. We’ll have to pick up from here.”
“Dammit, Claire,” he said, clenching his fists and closing his eyes. Hurting, he thought of all the empty moments. He’d hurt badly after the breakup with Claire. Two years ago, he’d hurt after losing Karen and the baby. Now he had another deep hurt and this one could have been so easily avoided. He tried to hang on to his temper and to avoid saying hurtful things to Claire because it really didn’t help to pour out his fury on her.
“Would you like to see his picture?” she asked after a few minutes.
Nick jerked his head up. His anger melted as fast as it had come and awe filled him. He suddenly knew how he would have felt if he had been present at the birth of his son. “You have his picture? Of course I’d like to see it.”
She walked back to the ottoman to pick up her phone. Nick came to stand beside her. “I named him Cody Nicholas Prentiss.”
“You named him Nicholas?” he asked, pleasure filling him.
“Yes. I named him for you,” she said, looking up at him. “I felt I should do that.”
Nick looked at her phone and she opened it, handing it to him. His hands shook and he was overwhelmed as he looked at a child that resembled his own pictures when he was small.
“Oh, my word, there’s no doubt about his heritage. He looks just like me at that age,” Nick said, the feeling of awe swamping him. “My family will love him beyond words. Thank you for naming him Nicholas.”
“He looks like you. He’s a sweet, happy little boy who loves people. Even as a baby, he smiled constantly when someone talked to him.”
“That’s great,” Nick said, still staring at Cody’s picture.
“My grandmother watches him a couple of days a week, and I have a nanny the rest of the time to help relieve Grandma. For his first seven months I took maternity leave. Grandpa was around until the past six months, so there was a man in the house.”
Looking at his son, Nick felt the sting of tears of joy, forgetting his anger and the empty years. Getting a grip on his emotions, he wiped his eyes. “I have a son,” he said, his voice filled with awe. “This is the most wonderful news. Claire, he’s perfect. Was your family with you when he was born?” he asked, staring at Cody’s picture.
“Oh, yes. Mom was alive then, and all of them were thrilled. When he was a baby, one of us rocked him to sleep every night. Grandpa read to him when he was so tiny he couldn’t possibly understand a word, but it made him happy.”
“Can you send this picture to me?”
“Yes. I have more on my iPad. I’ll go get it. I’ll send all of them to you,” she said.
Nick watched her leave the room, his gaze sweeping down to notice her tiny waist, the slightest sway to her walk, her long legs. What if they had married? What if he had tried harder to work things out with her? He had been so in love with her, but their breakup had been final. Then Karen had come along and she seemed to be the answer to his problems. In their marriage they’d each gotten what they’d wanted. But even as he had walked down the aisle, his heart had ached. He’d tried to remind himself that Claire didn’t want to marry him, but that hadn’t stopped the hurt that had torn him up for a long time.
If he had known about her pregnancy—
Instantly he stopped that thought. There was no undoing the past and he wasn’t going to dwell on what might have been.
As Claire left the room, he stared at the empty doorway. Fury still simmered in him because of the years he had missed with his son. At the same time, awe and joy were stronger. This couldn’t bring back the baby he had lost, but Cody would fill a painful void in his life.
Staring at the picture, memorizing it, he held her phone in his hands. It was incredibly awesome to look at the picture and see a child who looked just like he had when he was that age. How long would it take to get used to Claire’s revelation?
“Cody Nicholas,” he whispered, running his fingers over the picture.
She came back into the room with her iPad in hand and motioned to the sofa. Again, he watched her cross the room. Her attention was on her tablet and his gaze ran from her head to her toes. His pulse raced as he looked at her. She was stunning, even better looking than she had been four years ago. Today she had been poised, self-assured, handling the business matters with ease and he’d admired her. Tonight he had seen the sexy side of her and he’d still responded to her. Now he discovered she was the mother of his baby and he was shocked.
Each time he thought about this discovery, joy, awe and gratitude outweighed anger. He should do something to show her how happy he was and he should try to forgive her. The latter would take some time, but Claire was the mother of his child and he needed to keep that in mind.
“Come sit and I’ll show you his pictures,” she said, still focused on the iPad in her hands, but she sounded more like herself. “I have baby pictures on here.”
“Thank heavens for that,” he said. He caught her before she sat and grasped her gently by the shoulders.
Wide-eyed, she looked up. “What?”
“You’re the mother of my child, Claire. We have a tie now for the rest of our lives. Even though I can’t help being angry, I’m far more thrilled and grateful. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, but that was your choosing. One thing is important for me to say. Thank you. Even though it’s completely inadequate.”
Wrapping