Which was as far as she’d gotten in her thought process…or as far as she had allowed herself to go.
“I want more than one night.”
“How much more?”
“How much more do you want?”
“I’m not sure.”
“That’s not good enough.”
“I can’t quantify it.”
“Sure you can. What do you want? Protestations of love?”
She, who no longer believed in love, felt her heart rate double at the mention of the word. Was he saying he was falling in love with her? How could he be?
“What do you want, Tara? A promise of fidelity, or do you want more?” he went on relentlessly. “Perhaps an offer of marriage. Is that what you need to feel good about giving yourself to me? Commitment with a capital C?”
Was he saying he would give those things to her, or was he testing her, pushing to figure out the parameters of the deal?
“I just realized I wanted to pursue a relationship,” she said, frustration at being put so firmly on the spot lacing her voice. “How am I supposed to know what form I need it to take before I’m ready to be intimate with you?”
“You’re too smart not to know your own mind.”
Only right now, her mind was muddled by desire and the need to conquer fear. She doubted he ever got muddled in his thinking. Probably, he thought he was being extremely reasonable asking her to define what she needed, but he wasn’t the one with doubts. Somehow, she couldn’t see this man ever being the one with the doubts.
Her only defense against his relentless logic was more honesty. “Look, you were right, Angelo. I have been letting my past control my present. I don’t want to do that anymore, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to jump into bed with you. I need time.”
His smile was all sensual, predatory, and it confused her, because it wasn’t the expression of a man who had just been turned down. “Oh, you’re ready all right, but you’re hesitating because you don’t know where it will lead.”
She throbbed low in her womb and she knew he was right. “Fine. You’re right. There aren’t a lot of options for where sex between us could go.”
“This is always true. Those options do not change over time.”
“Some of them become less palatable.”
“You do not want a one night stand, but I gather you also don’t want a few long weekends with us both moving on to other partners?”
The mere idea made her shiver with revulsion. She’d never taken sex casually and the idea of going into a relationship that intimate with the expectation of ending it repelled her. “No.”
“That leaves two other outcomes…we move in together—”
“No,” she practically shouted.
His brow raised in question.
She took a deep breath and let it out. “I stupidly went that route once before…even after watching my mom make the same mistake over and over again. I won’t be controlled by my past, but I won’t refuse to learn from it, either.”
“Then there is only one alternative left: marriage.”
“I—”
“You see, it was not so hard to define. In order to give yourself to me, you want a lifetime commitment.”
“I’m not angling for marriage.” But her words came out a mere whisper of sound, the direction the conversation had taken shocking her to the core.
“Aren’t you?”
“No.” She wasn’t, darn it. Frustration welled up in her. “If you weren’t trying to go so fast, this wouldn’t even be an issue, so don’t try putting all the blame back on me. I only said I’m not keen on having casual sex with a man who will disappear from my life very soon.”
“I wasn’t aware I was trying to blame you for anything and I agree, casual sex is not what I had in mind.”
A maelstrom of emotion churned through her. “We can’t get married just because you want to have sex with me.”
“People do it all the time actually, but I think we’ve got a lot more than sexual desire going for us.”
“Let me get this straight,” she said, feeling more bewildered than she ever had in her life. “Are you saying you want to marry me?”
“Yes.”
Suddenly she felt claustrophobic in the interior of the car. She couldn’t get enough air and the world was going black around the edges. “You didn’t say that,” she breathed.
“I don’t just want you, I like you, Tara. It’s been a long time since I felt that way about a woman. I’m thirty years old and I’ve never been in love. I don’t think I’m wired that way. There are a lot worse things I could do than marry a woman I want as much as I want you.”
She couldn’t think of a single thing to say in response. Baron had put off making any major commitments with a constant stream of excuses. So had her mother’s boyfriends. She’d never known a man like Angelo that wanted to jump feet first into long-term commitment…except Darren.
Her stepdad had asked her mom to marry him on their second date. But that was because he loved her and Angelo had just said he wasn’t wired that way. It didn’t make any sense.
He sighed at her silence. “I respect your integrity and your intelligence. I enjoy your company and I think you feel the same way about me. You probably thought you loved Baron Randall, but look at where that got you. Marriage to me would be a lot better for your emotional well-being than waiting around for another man like him to show up.”
“If you feel that way about it, we can keep dating…take our time deciding if a future makes sense.”
Something came over his expression, the ruthlessness she’d always been sure lurked under his civilized exterior.
He shook his head decisively. “Some of the best decisions I’ve made in my life have been spur of the moment based on my gut instincts. Those instincts are telling me that a marriage between us would work.”
This was beyond anything she could’ve imagined.
“So, what? You want to fly to Las Vegas and get married tomorrow?” she asked sarcastically, trying to point out the ridiculousness of his attitude.
“That would work,” he said musingly. “I think I could wait one more night to have you.”
“You’re insane.”
“Not even close. I’m merely sure of what I want.”
She shoved her car door open, feeling as if she didn’t get out of that car immediately, she was going to lose it. “I need to think.”
“You sure you won’t ask me up? I could work on convincing you.”
“No!” She clambered from the car. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
He didn’t appear worried by her rejection. In fact, he gave her another look filled with sensual confidence. “I’ll be by to take you to breakfast. We’ll spend the day together.”
She nodded and reeled like a drunk up the walk and into her building. Luckily someone had left the front door unlatched because keys would have been beyond her right after she got out of the car.
She wasn’t much better when she reached her door on the top floor. The phone was ringing when she got it unlatched.
She rushed inside and picked