“Oh, of course. I always remember her coming in here with her daddy. I don’t usually keep up with the social news around here, but her marriage was something of a surprise. She married a colleague of her father’s, much older man. And I remember your mother commented that they didn’t have a big hullabaloo of a wedding like you’d think for a Foster girl.”
“Strange you or Mom never mentioned that marriage to me. I even asked about Alex a couple of times.”
“I guess it slipped our minds,” Gus said. “Or we didn’t think you’d be interested. Besides, the wedding seemed downplayed to me.”
That was odd, Daniel thought. Most girls wanted big weddings, didn’t they? Why did Alex make up her mind and tie the knot within weeks?
“What else did you hear, Pop?”
“Not much, but a few months back, a customer mentioned that the doctor had died. A shame. That pretty lady won’t wither long on the vine, though. Some lucky man will snap her up.”
Daniel thought of one man who had tried and failed. Back then he’d been a struggling college kid who earned tip money by catering to the people who had it. Maybe Alex had appreciated his charm, but she sure tossed him aside when something better came along. All the charm in the world couldn’t compete with a successful doctor on his way up the ladder.
Going back to his inventory of the warehouse, Daniel continued on this train of thought. Besides having his heart ripped out and stomped on, he had been disappointed in Alex. He hadn’t pegged her as the kind of girl who would marry for money or prestige. Meeting her again after so long, she still didn’t seem that way. Sure, she was classy and cultured and could hold her own in any crowd, but there was still some of that shy, eager small-town girl who had shown up at Birch Shore that day. So why had she married the much older doctor?
Maybe Daniel had pegged Alex wrong. Maybe he’d pegged himself wrong, too. Maybe he hadn’t been as charming as he’d thought back then. Maybe she’d seen something in him that summer that made her rethink her interest after they parted.
He shrugged his shoulders, trying to shake off his memories of Alex. Did it really matter why she broke up with him? His father was probably right. Soon enough, some lucky man would snap her up. Maybe another doctor.
ON THURSDAY MORNING Alex quietly entered her mother’s cheerful, serene room and padded across the plum-colored carpet, past the single bed where her father had slept every night for over four years. Pulling up a delicate, petit point French armchair, she settled next to the large double bed where Maggie Foster lay peacefully.
“Good morning, Mama,” Alex said. “Daddy’s gone to the office, Rosie’s out doing the marketing and your nurse won’t be here for another hour, so it looks like you’re stuck with me.”
The heavy lids over Maggie’s dull blue eyes lowered for a moment, and Alex could almost convince herself that her mother was trying to clear her vision to see her better. “That’s right, Mama. It’s me, Alexis.”
She cradled her mother’s palm in hers and imagined a smile curving the rosy lips that had kissed her forehead so many times in the past. Alex stared at her mother’s hand. Heavily veined now, the skin was still subtle and smooth, the fingers delicately bent at slender knuckles. If only those fingers could contract and grab hold of Alex’s hand like they used to.
If Maggie’s mind hadn’t started to fail her, slowly and deliberately beginning six years ago, she would probably still be the vibrant, energetic and caring woman who had stood by her husband’s side and raised three daughters. Today her heart was strong, her vital signs healthy. But her mind, once merely confused, was now mostly dormant, like a pond that once rippled in a breeze but now remained still as a mirror.
“I’m kind of in a pickle, Mama,” Alex said. “It’s about what happened eighteen years ago, the thing I told you and Daddy about.” Alex sighed, gathered her thoughts as if the words she was about to say really mattered to the person hearing them. “You and Daddy were both so caring when I came to you with my problem. You didn’t pressure me to tell you the name of my baby’s father. You let me keep my secret. And you didn’t argue when I said I wanted the baby.
“I loved you for your understanding then, and I still love you for it today.” Drawing a deep breath, Alex continued. “But I saw him, Mama. I saw Lizzie’s father. I never expected to, and now I don’t know what to do. He’s a decent man. He’s accomplished and well liked and—” Alex let a small smile precede her next words “—I have to say he’s quite good-looking in that tall, dark and handsome way we Foster women have always been drawn to.”
Alex leaned closer to the bed and lowered her voice. “The thing is, Mama, Lizzie has met him, too, and she likes him. So you can see what a muddle this all is. Lizzie misses Teddy so much, which is why this is so hard. If only things were different. This man could never take Teddy’s place. No one can fill the void left by Teddy in Lizzie’s life. And even if it were possible, I can never tell her. Not now. Not ever. Lizzie would never forgive me.”
Alex scrubbed away a tear she realized had spilled onto her cheek. “I thought I was doing the right thing all those years ago. This man...and I still won’t tell you his name...” Alex chuckled at the absurdity of her words.
“He wasn’t a Fox Creek boy, not that it would have mattered to you and Daddy. He came from a good middle-class family. His parents both worked and he had a job at his father’s place from the age of thirteen on. He was his family’s pride, their hope for the future. Circumstances weren’t as easy for him as you and Daddy made them for me. He scrimped and saved for college and now has made a name for himself. He couldn’t have done that if I’d saddled him with a baby, and I have a pretty strong hunch that he wouldn’t have allowed Daddy to support him.”
She gently squeezed her mother’s hand. “He wouldn’t be where he is today if I’d made him marry me, Mama. In fact...and this is what hurt the most at the time... I don’t believe he even loved me, at least not the way you and Daddy taught us about love. Oh, he liked me well enough. He even called a few times. But the bottom line is, I screwed up, Mama. One time, but I’ll never be sorry. Not as long as I have Lizzie. I would do anything to keep my daughter’s love and respect.”
She bent over the mattress and kissed her mother’s cheek. “Thanks for listening, Mama. You always do, and even if you don’t know it, it always helps. I know I can never make this right, not with Lizzie, not with Dan...” She stopped herself. “I would lose too much, more than I already have, and I can’t risk it.”
As if hearing her words for the first time, Alex paused before saying, “Does this seem selfish to you, Mama? Maybe it is, but Lizzie is all I have left.” She thought of Daniel and realized that he would probably never be more to her than a faded memory from her past. “And all I’ll ever have,” she added.
Alex stood and went to the window. “Jude is riding this morning,” she said. “She is beautiful on that horse, Mama, just like you were. I think of the three of us, Jude is most like you, and I’m thankful every day that your light still shines through her.”
She sat again in the chair, picked up a book and began to read aloud until the nurse arrived.
* * *
AT FOUR O’CLOCK Alex drove to the Red Barn Theater to pick up Lizzie. She no longer thought about avoiding Daniel. In the past week she’d realized that he could be anywhere, doing who-knew-what good deeds for the community and his father. He was on a monthlong hiatus from the senate, and she would have to adjust to seeing him around the area.
Like she did when she entered the theater.
Her breath caught. In faded jeans and a T-shirt, he looked so like the boy she once knew. Only today he wasn’t wearing the ball cap,