“Of course.” Sarah squared her shoulders, preparing herself for whatever J.J. had to say.
“Are you Amish?” J.J. asked.
“I am.”
He chuckled and hooked a thumb toward Toby. “Like you. How do you say it, Toby? Like you, ain’t so?”
“You’re Amish?” A flush rushed up her cheeks, and he could tell Sarah wished the question would disappear.
Toby nodded as he waited for her to ask one of the next obvious questions. The ones he was always asked. If he was Amish, why was he traveling with J.J. and Ned delivering horses? Where did he live when he wasn’t on the road? Was he related to—or knew—someone connected to her? He hated the questions as much as he hated the answers he’d devised to skirt the truth.
Almost fifteen years ago, when he’d first gone to work for J.J., he’d answered those questions. He’d explained traveling wasn’t new to him. It was the life he’d always known. His parents had moved from one Amish settlement to another, seldom staying longer than six months, sometimes less than a week before heading somewhere new. They’d done that for as long as he could remember. He’d learned not to establish close relationships because soon he’d be leaving them behind. How could he have fun flirting with girls when he’d be going soon, breaking her heart as well as his own?
His life had changed after the family had arrived at a settlement in southern Texas. They’d stayed eight months. Toby had found work he loved: training horses at J.J.’s ranch. When his parents left, he’d stayed. The ranch was perfect for him. People and horses came and went. He didn’t have to worry about being the only outsider.
When he’d shared honest answers, he’d gotten pity or, worse, someone wanting to help him. To accept assistance would mean obligations he didn’t want. He’d created other answers. Not lies, but not the whole truth, either.
“Ja,” he said, letting himself slip into Deitsch for a moment.
“If you’re here on Sunday, you’re welcome at our services,” she replied in the same language before turning to J.J. and asking in English if he wanted more lemonade.
Toby was taken aback at her lack of curiosity. Why hadn’t she posed the questions others had? Was she worried he’d have questions of his own? Was she hiding something like he was?
He’d never know if he left as soon as the horses were unloaded. Guilt clamped a heated claw around his throat. How could he leave her here with someone like Ned, who would see a plain woman as an easy target for his heartless flirtations? Should Toby suggest J.J. take Ned with him and let Toby stay instead?
You’ve lost your mind! The best thing he could do was get out of there as soon as possible. He needed to avoid the faintest possibility of a connection with Sarah, a lovely woman who intrigued him. Maybe it was too late. His determination to keep Ned from breaking her heart proved that. He didn’t want to see her hurt as he’d been many times.
Sarah had never been so relieved to see her boss as she was when Mr. Summerhays strode into the room. J.J. had been telling an endless tale about people she’d never met in places she’d never heard of. Her polite interruptions to offer lemonade hadn’t stymied him. He would reply that he’d like more to drink; then once again, he’d relaunch into his story. He shared a multitude of events that were, in Sarah’s opinion, barely related to one another. When he mentioned Toby by name, she was surprised to hear him say he was glad to have Toby with him because they could share the driving on long trips.
She wondered if J.J. found Ned overly pushy, too. Instantly, she was contrite. She shouldn’t judge Englisch folks and their ways when she was considering becoming one of them.
“Thank you, Sarah,” Mr. Summerhays said with his easy smile as he entered the room. To look at him, nobody would think he was a wealthy man. He dressed in beat-up clothes and always appeared to be in desperate need of a haircut. He was the complete opposite of his wife, who never emerged from their room without makeup, a perfect hairdo and clothing that had graced the pages of the fashion magazines she read.
Sarah nodded and rose. Thanking God for putting an end to the stilted conversation that felt as if every word had to be invented before she could speak it, she left the lemonade and extra glasses on the table.
As she reached the door, she spread out her arms to halt Ethan and Mia from racing in and interrupting their daed. She quickly realized they didn’t want to see him, but the horses Natalie had told them were in the trailer.
Sarah’s heart grew heavy at the thought that the kinder weren’t interested in spending time with their daed, though they hadn’t seen him for a week. How she wished she could have another few moments with her daed! He’d died before she and her two older brothers had moved to the Harmony Creek settlement. Unlike Menno and Benjamin, Daed had listened to her dreams of finding a way to help others. Her brothers dismissed them as silly, but Daed never had. When she’d suggested she take EMT training when they became volunteers at the Salem Fire Department, her brothers had reminded her that they were the heads of the household.
And they disapproved of the idea.
As one, they told her she must not mention it again and should focus on more appropriate duties. No Amish woman should be giving medical aid to strangers. It wasn’t right.
Neither Benjamin nor Menno was being honest with her. They were worried she’d get hurt if she served as an EMT. Maybe their being overprotective wouldn’t have bothered her if Wilbur Eash hadn’t been the same. When Wilbur had first paid attention to her at youth group gatherings in Indiana, she’d been flattered such a gut-looking and popular guy was interested in her. Before the first time he took her home in his courting buggy, he’d started insisting she heed him on matters big and small. He, like her brothers, seemed to believe she wasn’t capable of taking care of herself.
What would Daed have said? The same, or would he have suggested she find out if Menno and Benjamin—and Wilbur—were right in their assumption that she needed to be protected from her dreams? Daed had always listened to Mamm’s opinion until her death a few years before his. Sarah had heard him say many times Mamm’s insight had often made him look at a problem in another way.
She’d asked her friends if they knew of Amish women taking EMT training. They hadn’t but offered to write to friends in other settlements. So far, no one had received answers to their letters.
“We’ll go ahead and get those horses unloaded,” J.J. said from the room behind her. “Toby, tell Ned to help you.”
“Can we watch?” Ethan asked as Toby hurried out the front door.
“We’ll be good,” his little sister hurried to add.
Sarah didn’t answer as she pushed her uneasy thoughts aside and concentrated on her job. She loved these kinder, but she had no illusions about what rascals they were. Her predecessors hadn’t stayed long, according to Mrs. Hancock, because they couldn’t handle the rambunctious youngsters. With a laugh, Sarah had replied she’d been quite the outrageous youngster herself, which, she acknowledged, was one reason her brothers looked askance at every idea she had. Though she was twenty-seven, they treated her as if she were as young as Mia. She wished they’d give her the benefit of the doubt once in a while and realize she was a woman who yearned to help others.
Just as she needed to offer the Summerhays kinder a chance to show they could be gut. Giving the youngsters a stern look, she said, “I’ll agree to take you outside to watch if you promise to stay with me every second, hold my hand and not get in the way. If Mr. Christner says you have to leave, you must.”
Though the Amish didn’t use titles, even when speaking of bishops and ministers, she wanted to impress on the