Her lips curved in a slight smile at his jest, but she was reluctant to get away from the confrontation. âHe was not the man I wanted.â His breath hitched, but he didnât shift his attention from the strand of hair he caressed. âWhy have you ignored me all these years, Gunnar?â she whispered.
âNay, Kadlin, you were never ignored. There was never a moment when I wasnât aware of you. Any time you were near, I felt it even without seeing you. My body knew you were there and I couldnât help but hear you, smell you.â He brought the strand of hair to his lips and closed his eyes as he breathed in her scent. âI could never forget the way you smelled and the way it felt to sleep with my face buried in your hair when we were children.â
âBut youâve stayed away. Why?â
He groaned and pulled back only enough to look at her. âThe boy you knew died a long time ago, Kadlin. I am not what you need.â
She took a deep breath to steady her nerves. This man, this warrior standing before her, so forbidding and brutal, was not the boy she remembered. But he was no less attractive for the change that his harsh life had wrought. To the contrary, he carried an edge that somehow served to make him desirable with that mystical allure taken on by all things forbidden. Despite that, he still seemed so familiar to her. Unable to avoid touching him any longer, she let her palms rest on the backs of his hands. Did he feel the magic that happened when their flesh touched, the invisible flame that sparked between them?
Her hands moved restlessly up and down the length of his forearms, unable to stay still when the urge to touch him was so powerful. They were as solid as iron beneath her palms. Taking in the broad expanse of his chest, she suspected that all of him would feel that way. A jolt of unexpected excitement moved from her fingertips to her belly. âI donât care, Gunnar. You are what I want.â Truer words had never passed her lips. In the few minutes he had been there, she felt like a part of her had come back to itself. There was no more aching where her heart had been. He was meant for her and she knew it now more than she had ever known it before. Only now, she knew that deep in his heart he felt the same way.
His eyes glowed with a sudden fierceness that might have frightened her only moments earlier. âYou should be careful of the things you say to me.â
âWhy?â she challenged.
He grinned, but it was wicked and full of all of the dark things that she very much wanted to experience with him. A wolfâs grin. His fingers loosened their grasp on her hair so that his hands could settle gently at her hips, clenching the light fabric of her nightdress in a show of restraint that caused a strange pulse to begin between her thighs. âBecause Iâve spent every moment in this chamber trying to convince myself that I came only to bid you goodbye.â
âYou didnât truly think that I would let you go so easily?â Her body warming beneath his touch, she allowed her hands to finally settle on the solid expanse of his chest. He was so hard and strong. Her fingertips tingled as she touched him, tracing over the dips and planes. But that wasnât enough, so she let them delve beneath the edges of the fur cloak to be closer to his heat. His words had started a throbbing deep within her and it begged to be closer to him.
He shook his head at her teasing words and gave her a heavy-lidded stare. âYou donât understand what you do to me, innocent.â
She might have uttered those same words to him. He made all thoughts of censure and convention flee her mind. In fact, he made her gladly throw them away if it meant that he could be hers. With her palm over the restless pounding of his heart, she leaned towards him. His eyes widened slightly in surprise, but he didnât pull away when her lips touched his. Kadlin closed her eyes and let her tongue stroke his bottom lip, tasting the mead that he had drank, before slipping inside the silken heat to find his. When his tongue, both soft and rough, stroked against her own, it caused an ache in her that wanted more from him. Her fingers worked up his chest to delve into the hair resting at his nape and pull him close. Finally succumbing, he groaned, his fingers curling tight around her hips as he pulled her flush against him.
The kiss quickly escalated from delicate exploration to ravenous need, until he finally drew back and took a deep breath. Kadlin tried to stifle her smile, but she couldnât because she was so happy to have finally kissed him as she had dreamed about for years. It was even better than her dreams. Clearly discomfited and aroused, he was the most singularly attractive man she had ever seen. His allure came from the wildness that he exuded, the untamed quality that defied explanation. Only, she had seen deep inside to the heart of the man within that wild creature and he wanted her.
âI understand, Gunnar. You do the same to me.â
The heated look he gave her threatened to make her go up in flames. His hands tightened almost involuntarily on her even more as he held her hips against his, allowing her to clearly feel the extent of his hard desire for her as it pressed firmly into her belly. âYou deserve more than I can give you.â
It was a warning she wouldnât heed. âYou donât get to decide what I deserve any more than our fathers decide who I marry. I am in charge of myself.â His lips had hardened into a determined line, but deep in his eyes lurked the longing of the boy he had been. It nearly broke her heart, so she softened her voice. âIâve dreamt of the night you would come back to me for a long time. Come...â she tugged him gently â...lie down with me.â She had more than dreamt of it. Gunnar was the only man she had ever thought to spend her life with. He was the one for her, the only one, so it seemed entirely natural that this night had finally come.
Letting him go, she moved back to her place on the bed, her fingers slowly going to the ties of her nightdress. His eyes hungrily followed her every move and his breathing became faster. Her belly fluttered as his gaze licked over her skin. She released the string so that the fabric fell down her shoulders, revealing the tops of her breasts.
He glanced to the door, but when his gaze came back to her, it was hot and fierce. She trembled with excitement when he reached up and untied the thong holding the fur cloak in place across his broad shoulders, so that it fell to the floor.
âIâve only ever wanted you,â she encouraged him. âCome claim what is yours.â
Kadlin closed her eyes as she turned over in bed and fought the waves of nausea that rolled through her. She pressed her forehead against her arm and waited for it to pass. It had been the same every morning for the past week. Wake up to let Freyja out and then stumble back to bed, too dizzy to stand upright and fight the nausea that threatened to make her empty the contents of her stomach. Even before the nausea and vertigo, her breasts had been very sore. She had tried to attribute the strange soreness to her monthly ague, only the bleeding had never started, and now, she couldnât deny it any longer.
It was time to admit that she was with Gunnarâs child.
The acknowledgement made her flop on to her back and stare at the ceiling. Her hand went to her belly, hoping to find some evidence of their child. It was a ritual she had repeated nightly in her chamber from the first moment she had even begun to suspect. So far, it seemed as flat as it had ever been. But that was all right, because today she could finally admit the truth to herself. Today made seven straight mornings of nausea.
When sheâd invited him into her bed, sheâd only thought that sheâd been risking her heart, not a child. How naïve she had been. A laugh shook loose from deep in her belly and escaped past