And why did it even matter to him what she thought?
He had lost his appetite and had no desire to make polite conversation, but he knew he was now forced to sit there until everyone else was finished with breakfast. And by the amount of food on Toby’s plate, that could be quite a while. He would just make certain when they all left the room, he would avoid Lady Charlotte for the remainder of her time at Toby’s house.
Once the roads were deemed passable she would be gone. While he had no doubt the Duchess of Skeffington was seeking out his presence in London, he also knew Lady Charlotte couldn’t get away from him fast enough. In a few days, he would barely recall the green of her eyes and those soft lips. She would be a faint memory of this trip, if that.
Charlotte had successfully put all thoughts of Lord Andrew out of her head when, to her displeasure, Ann had brought up his name while they strolled the grounds of Oakwood House during the annual fair a few days later. It was one event she looked forward to each year when townspeople and the surrounding gentry were invited on to the grounds of the stately home of Mr Ellswith to partake in a day of festivities. The sun was shining. The day was warm. And she had no wish to relive the last time she saw the man.
She strolled with Ann under the trees on the hill overlooking the back of the house, past the stalls with items made by local women and craftspeople. The smell of lamb roasting on open spits mixed with the scent of fresh grass brought back fond memories of her childhood when all three Sommersby sisters would explore their local fair together. She had never attended any fairs with Jonathan. When they were younger, he found them frivolous and, after he entered the army, he preferred to stay away from large crowds.
The excitement and jovial mood of the people around them brought a smile to Charlotte’s face as she allowed Ann to pull her along from stall to stall so they could admire the embroidered shawls and gloves, as well as straw bonnets adorned with ribbons and flowers. She made a point of complimenting the work of each woman she spoke to and purchased a lovely pair of lavender gloves embroidered with violets.
She had just picked up a small watercolour of Oakwood House when Ann leaned in closer. ‘Have I mentioned Lord Andrew has accompanied Toby here today?’
‘You have...twice.’
‘Have I?’
‘You know you have, Ann.’
‘Well, I just want to be certain you know. This will give you time to prepare yourself should you see him.’
Charlotte pulled Ann to a stop and led her by the elbow to a quiet spot in the shade of a nearby tree. ‘Prepare myself for what? Has something happened to Lord Andrew?’
‘No, however I know something happened between the two of you at breakfast. I’ve never seen two people not want to speak to each other more than the two of you that morning. I think if it wasn’t considered impolite, both of you would have excused yourselves from the table the moment Toby and I walked in.’
‘I cannot speak for Lord Andrew, but that is not true of me.’
Scepticism was written all over Ann’s face. ‘You barely spoke to him.’
‘I had nothing to say.’
‘You wouldn’t look at him and he was sitting directly across from you, even though the night before you could barely keep your eyes off of him when we were sitting by the fire.’
‘Have you always paid such close attention to my actions?’
‘When those unprecedented actions relate to an eligible man, I do.’
‘Please stop. He is a titled bachelor. If he is looking for a wife, he is looking for one who can give him an heir. Obviously after many years married to Jonathan with no child of our own, I am not that woman. I am not able to provide him with a child—or any other man for that matter. So, let us not talk of Lord Andrew and his need of a woman who can provide him with a son.’
‘But—’
‘No, Ann. We are not going to continue this discussion.’
Her feelings had spilled out in such a rush. It was all so unexpected. She had not considered being unable to have children as an impediment to marrying again. But she had found herself thinking about it the other night. Men of the privileged class wanted sons to carry on the family name and take over their estates when they passed on. Should an unmarried man find out she was a widow without children, he might not pursue her further. However, she had found as soon as she was out of her mourning clothes, that a widow without children was an attractive prospect for a mistress. She was grateful every day that Lord Aldrich had decided not to continue leasing nearby Willowbrooke Manor after she had turned down his offer of protection.
She was about to walk away from their secluded spot and continue shopping when Ann’s words stopped her.
‘You have never talked with me about any of this before now. I’m sorry. Any man would be a fool to put having children above marrying you. You are a loving and kind woman, Charlotte, and some day a man will see that and fall in love with you.’
Not this conversation again!
‘Ann, love does not happen twice in a lifetime. A woman’s heart is incapable of loving two men. Most people we know have never even experienced love once. That part of my life is over and I’m doing everything in my power to make certain I do not need to enter into a marriage of convenience just to have a roof over my head. I will not marry again. My marriage to Jonathan was enough for a lifetime.’
Ann took her hand. ‘I do not mean to cause you distress. That was not my intention. I adore you and only want you to be happy.’
‘I am happy. I have friends and family and loyal servants who make my life easier than it could be. I am fortunate that I am able to live a relatively comfortable life.’
Distress knotted Ann’s brow. ‘Relatively?’
‘Compared to Lizzy.’
‘Compared to Lizzy we all live relatively comfortable lives.’
That had them both smiling at the absurdity of it.
‘I never imagined when we were children,’ Ann said, ‘that Lizzy would live in such grandeur.’
‘I think Lizzy would have given up all that grandeur if she could have married the man that she loves.’
‘Lizzy is in love?’ Ann’s eyes grew wide.
She wasn’t about to reveal her sister’s feelings for the Duke of Winterbourne’s brother. She had said too much already. But Ann’s eager expression did make her laugh. ‘I was speaking in hypotheticals.’
‘Oh, yes, I suppose you’re right. I’m lucky I fell in love with Toby not long after we were wed. But I do not think anyone would have fallen in love with Skeffington.’
They headed back to the stalls, each considering how they would have reacted to being told they were to marry a seventy-year-old man when they were barely old enough to feel like an adult.
‘Lizzy was so much fun to be around when we were younger,’ Charlotte mused. ‘Do you remember how eager she would be to get into some form of mischief or another?’
‘I remember when you were that way as well. I adore being with you, but I think you’ve forgotten how pleasurable a bit of excitement can be.’
Those sounded like the words Lord Aldrich had said to her when he was trying to coax her into the library during that summer ball. Excitement led to scandal. She was too smart to think one did not go without the other.
*