Airman To The Rescue. Heatherly Bell

know that he probably doesn’t want to hurt me. That’s just who he is.”

      “Who says he’s going to hurt you? Maybe you’ll be the one to hurt him.”

      She shook her head. “I’m not going to hurt him. I couldn’t do that.”

      “When you leave.”

      It was difficult to believe. Matt was such a confident, assured man. But it occurred to Sarah that she’d never spent much time thinking about how her leaving might affect him. Maybe it was why he’d kept a healthy space between them, despite the occasional flirting. A space which had taken a bit of a hit tonight. She understood he didn’t want a fling with his best friend’s sister. But if she was leaving eventually, and no one but the two of them had to know, why did it matter?

      As a light came on inside, Emily turned toward the house, then met Sarah’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I just think that Matt really needs someone. He doesn’t act like he does, sure, but he’s lonely.”

      “Emily, he could have anyone he wanted. If he’s lonely, it’s by choice.”

      “Or maybe he just hasn’t had the best luck with women. Might have some abandonment issues, even. His mom left them when he was ten and he hasn’t heard from her in years. There’s really no relationship there. And then his ex Joanne. She never made it easy for him to see Hunter.”

      Sarah had wondered about Matt’s past but beyond light conversation they hadn’t delved deep. They’d been too busy talking about her problems. Her grief. But she wanted to go deeper with him. Hear all of his secrets and painful mistakes. The kind of private, personal matters only lovers knew about each other. But in order to have that level of intimacy, she might have to tell him her biggest regret, and she wasn’t quite ready for that.

      “Have you found anything else about your dad?” Emily nudged her chin toward the shed. “Anything important?”

      “Nothing.”

      It was too late now. He was gone and Sarah had to move on. Sell the house and go back home to Colorado and her life back there. The change she’d wanted, the one that could only happen from the inside out, hadn’t happened. She wanted to feel alive again. She’d traded her pantsuits for jeans and tank tops. Her framed glasses for contacts. But still nothing. Those were all external changes, and she had to work on her heart. It had to be more open...or something.

      “I’m sorry.” Emily squeezed Sarah’s shoulder. “I had hoped maybe there was something in this old house.”

      “Besides memories and a bunch of junk? Probably not.”

      Shackles, done with sniffing every square inch of his territory, joined them on the patio. He whimpered at Emily’s feet until she bent down to scratch behind his ears. “Sometimes we just have to find a way to lick our own wounds. Huh, Shackles?”

      Sarah was familiar with being her own hero. She’d done that for most of her life. Each time she had felt a little more dead inside as she proved over and over again that she didn’t need anyone. For once she’d wanted something, someone, to rescue her so she could stop being so tough and strong all the time. But that had been a mistake. There would be no rescue for her. She’d do her own saving again.

      Emily straightened. “One thing you should know about Matt. He feels like a total screw-up.”

      “Why?” Not Matt Conner. Air Force pilot Matt? Mechanic? Engineer? Single father? He’d already done so much with his life.

      Perhaps that was why she’d been so drawn to him from the start—because it took a screw-up to see a screw-up. She didn’t see a screw-up, though. She saw someone who’d made mistakes and lived with the consequences. It was quite possibly the most attractive quality about him. Maybe because she’d been struggling to do the same for years.

      “Matt was raised by a single father. Mr. Conner was tough. He was a top-level executive in Silicon Valley for years. And he expected a lot out of Matt. More than the Air Force, that’s for sure.”

      “What’s wrong with the Air Force?”

      “Nothing, but when you’ve been groomed to go to an Ivy League school, I guess it can be seen as a step down. At least it did to Matt’s father. And probably most of his teachers. Matt was on the Principal’s Honor Roll every semester. His SAT and ACT scores were near perfect. He was supposed to do better.”

      “But then Hunter came along.”

      The screen door opened and both Stone and Matt joined them on the patio. Within seconds Stone had drawn Emily into his arms like the two of them were magnets.

      “Are you guys already done?” Emily asked.

      Stone, who had his head partially buried in Emily’s neck, could barely be heard. “More than we can fix tonight. Babe, I need to go home. Come with me.”

      Emily turned in his arms. “Of course I’m coming with you, silly.”

      “Score.”

      Oh, sigh. Those two were so adorable, and yes, at times irritatingly so. Sarah turned away because no matter what those two did, even if it was simply holding each other’s hands, it carried with it an air of jolting intimacy. She glanced toward Matt, assuming he too would be smiling at the display, but instead caught him studying her, his head cocked. He didn’t look away but his head straightened and his gaze slid up to meet her eyes. He had a beer in his hand and took a pull of it without breaking eye contact.

      Sarah swallowed and wanted to get Stone and Emily out of her house even faster than they were moving. “Gosh, thanks so much for coming by. I’m getting tired, too. Early day tomorrow and all.”

      “Oh yeah,” Emily said. “We should go.”

      “This is what I’m saying.” Stone took Emily’s hand and led her through the house.

      Matt said good-night and Sarah followed them to the front door. But Emily wanted to talk wedding plans, and so Sarah followed them out to the truck where she stood next to Emily’s rolled-down passenger-side window. She listened for ten or more minutes to talk of tulle, lace and satin, and whether or not it was a good idea or not to have Emily’s almost two-year-old niece Sierra be a flower girl. Listened as Emily considered whether they should be married outside at her family’s ranch, or perhaps the Methodist church, or maybe someplace completely different. She listened until Stone turned on his truck and began to slowly inch away from the curb while Emily kept talking.