Autumn wiped her towel across her face and then down her neck. “He’s all right.”
“All right!” Melissa shook her head in disbelief. “Broccoli’s all right. A knock-off Prada purse is all right. Vacationing in Cancun during spring break is all right. But men who look like L.J. are not all right.” She turned her attention away from the fifty-two-inch plasma-screen TV. “Confidence and intensity are unbelievably sexy, and L.J. has both in heaps. He has a gravity about him and he knows it, but not in a way that makes him arrogant, like Tyrell.”
Autumn nodded. “I agree, but it doesn’t really matter what I think of L.J. ’cause I’m not interested in him.”
Throwing a flurry of punches and following them up with back-to-back front kicks, Melissa grunted some more. “That’s your problem right there, Autumn. You play life safe. You do the same thing day in and day out and you take no risks whatsoever.”
Autumn made a face.
“Don’t look at me like that. It’s true. You’re too busy planning and organizing your life to actually live it. You go with the flow and don’t ever trouble the waters. What’s so wrong with going out with him or anyone else who asks you out?” When Autumn didn’t respond, she went on. “I should just keep my mouth shut. Do what works for you. You’re a settler. Always have been. Always will be. So, don’t try new things, or meet new people or step out of your comfort zone.”
Autumn didn’t want to exchange verbal blows with Melissa, but when she continued ripping into her, she couldn’t keep the lid on her frustration. “So, what do you suggest I do?” she asked not bothering to look up from the magazine. “Throw myself at L.J.’s feet like your shameless cousin?”
The image of Shante hanging all over L.J. like a praying mantis flashed in Autumn’s mind. She gripped the handlebars and began peddling with renewed energy. God, I couldn’t stand that woman. Shante Patterson was the most self-minded, conniving person Autumn had ever met. She had no respect for herself or the plight of professional women. The daily struggles of career women fighting to be treated equally in a male-dominated work force were foreign to the onetime model. Shante batted her eyelashes, wiggled her hips and flaunted her curves, and when she didn’t get what she wanted, she reminded people who her prominent family was.
Autumn would never dream of using her father’s name to advance her career. When her father had learned that she had accepted the junior accountant position at Monroe, his eyebrows had creased like old linen pants. “I golf on a regular basis with some of the company’s board of directors, you know. One call from me and they’ll see that you get a better position.” Autumn had refused. She had decided long ago that she was going to make a name for herself in the accounting world without her father’s influence or his endless list of connections, and as tempting as the offer was, she had turned it down. She’d had her fair share of crappy, low-paying jobs after graduating from college, but she had never once asked her father for help.
“You think I should go out with him and do the things Shante does?”
“Heck no!” Melissa stretched her toned arms from left to right, and then bent over and touched the tips of her size-six feet. “I’m not suggesting you should emulate Shante, but you could learn a thing or two from that cousin of mine. She’s not afraid to speak her mind and she doesn’t let people stand in the way of getting what she wants, either. She’s also strong-willed and fiercely competitive and that’s never a bad thing.”
“You may find this hard to believe, Mel, but I like my life just the way it is. And I refuse to change who I am just to get some man’s attention.” Autumn lifted her head and stuck out her chin to farther prove her point. “I don’t care how good-looking or successful a man is, I’m not going to play the beauty card or degrade myself for anyone.”
Melissa chose her words carefully. She didn’t want to upset Autumn, but her best friend needed to hear this. “No one’s asking you to. Just live a little. Stop saying no all the time and say yes every now and then. Try something new. Travel. Do that one thing you’ve always wanted to do.” Melissa flopped down on the pillow-thick exercise mat and stretched her legs in front of her. “Yvette and I are worried about you, Autumn. You’re turning into an old maid right before our eyes and you’re not even out of your twenties yet!”
The timer beeped, signaling that the thirty-minute cycle was over. Autumn shut off the machine, eased off the bike and then clutched the handlebars to steady her shaky balance. “Me, an old maid? Please. That’s absurd. I’m at the top of my career, I have friends and family who love me and I just bought a fabulous new condo.”
“But are you happy?”
Autumn bit down hard on her bottom lip. “Tremendously.”
“Really?” Melissa quit stretching and tucked her legs underneath her.
“Really.”
“When was the last time you did something exciting? Or tried something new?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
Melissa leaned back on her palms. She searched Autumn’s honey-brown eyes, as if the answer she was looking for could be found there. “Will you just answer the question? And don’t say having your first bikini wax, either.”
Autumn thought hard for several minutes and came up with nothing. Truth be told, she wasn’t a risk-taker. She was a planner. A list-maker. An organizer. Having things prescheduled and neatly organized was how she had always lived her life and after twenty-nine years, she wasn’t about to change. Not for Melissa. Not for anyone.
“When you step out of your box you gain a deeper understanding of yourself,” Melissa said in her best psychologist voice.
“Is that why you’re rushing to get married? Are you afraid of becoming an old maid?” Autumn smoothed the base of her ponytail. Yanking out the rubber band, she shook her damp braids free and ran her fingers through marble-size knots.
Melissa shrugged. “Maybe, but my decision to marry Peter was made in my mind long before he ever asked. I just got to the place in our relationship where I wanted to spend all my days and nights with him.” Melissa’s eyes softened with care. “Just give some thought to what I said, Autumn. You deserve all the happiness you can stand and you deserve to be with a man who’s going to love you so good it hurts. I’m not trying to say L.J.’s that man, either, just open yourself up to the possibility of love. Don’t get stuck in the mind-numbing routine of work, work and more work. Have fun and be free while you’re still young.” She winked, her thin lips curved into the naughtiest of smiles. “You know what they say, girlfriend, variety is the spice of life.”
An awkward silence stretched into minutes. Then they returned to their individual workouts. Autumn lay flat on her back at one end of the mat doing sit-ups; Melissa alternated between lunges and jumping jacks. The next half-hour passed quickly and when Melissa shut off the DVD player and announced she was going to take a shower, Autumn was glad to see her go.
Autumn was slow getting to her feet. Stretching her arms high in the air, she rolled her head in short semicircles. She was trying not to take exception to what Melissa had said, but her feelings were hurt. Bruised. Deep down, she knew her best friend hadn’t set out to put her down, but that was exactly how she felt. The people she trusted most, the same people who were supposed to have her back, were pointing fingers at her. Laughing at her. Talking behind her back. Questions whirled around her head as her neck rotated. Who did Melissa think she was and where did she get off calling her a settler? Just because she’s getting married and Peter puts up with her drama doesn’t mean she’s a relationship guru, Autumn raged, kicking the dark-blue exercise ball halfway across the room.
Autumn was happy. Blissful even. More than satisfied with the life she was living. She had a complaint or two, but didn’t everybody? Fine, she wasn’t the most spontaneous person and it was true she shied away from trying new things, but that didn’t mean she was one girdle away from a nursing home. An old maid? Please. That was pure nonsense. Just because