“To be honest, I was having withdrawal symptoms. I figured this was a good excuse to see my little girl.” He held out a large envelope. “Trade you?”
He knew how much she loved his photographs. “Deal,” she said, giving him Katie and taking the envelope. While Maryellen sat on one end of the sofa and examined these latest pictures, Jon cooed at his daughter. It was difficult to pay attention to the photographs, drawn as she was to the sight of Jon with Katie. Letting him drive away with their daughter twice a week hadn’t become any easier, but she could never doubt his love.
As she reviewed the pictures, one in particular caught her interest. It was taken the morning Maryellen had gone to his house. She’d sat in the rocking chair in Katie’s nursery, breastfeeding their daughter. Her back was to the window and light spilled in around her. The cheerfully painted wall blurred in the background and only Maryellen and Katie were clear and vivid. Somehow Jon had captured the tenderness and love Maryellen felt for her daughter. Her focus was entirely on Katie, her smile a private one, for their baby alone. It was a classic image of mother and child, reminding her of paintings by Botticelli and Rembrandt.
She recalled that he’d had his camera with him that morning. She’d clowned around for him and he’d snapped picture after picture, but she hadn’t expected anything like this.
“I see you found it,” he said, watching her as she studied the photograph.
“How do you do it?” she asked softly. “How do you know the precise moment to catch a woman’s heart?”
He frowned as if he didn’t understand the question. For that matter, Maryellen wasn’t sure she understood it, either. She loved her daughter. Loved Katie so much that just the sight of her made Maryellen’s heart stop beating for a second or two. That was the love Jon had revealed so perfectly on film.
“I thought you didn’t take photographs of people,” she said. “Other than Katie, of course.” But she couldn’t help remembering the picture in his bedroom….
“Only you.” Jon kissed Katie on the forehead. “If it bothers you, I won’t again.”
That wasn’t what she wanted, but then Maryellen no longer knew what was right or wrong as far as Jon was concerned. He made everything so much more complicated.
“I…love this picture, Jon. I really love it.”
“Then it’s yours.”
To make matters worse, tears filled her eyes and she turned away as they ran down her cheeks.
“Maryellen?”
“What?”
“Why are you crying?”
“I don’t know, but it’s all your fault.” Her words, rash and illogical, escaped on a sob.
Jon stood and placed Katie in her bassinet. He paced back and forth a couple of times, then sat down next to Maryellen. She refused to face him as she tried to stem these ridiculous tears. Baby blues or not, she hated being out of control.
He touched her shoulder, so lightly she almost didn’t feel it. “Can you tell me why you’re crying?” he whispered.
“No,” she murmured.
Slowly he ran his hand down the length of her arm.
“Why do you have to be so wonderful?” she sobbed.
His hand paused. “Would you rather I was unreasonable and short-tempered?”
“I’ve treated you terribly. I hid the fact that I was pregnant, tried to keep you out of our baby’s life and all…all you’ve been is patient and wonderful. I could hate you for it.”
“Hate me?” He turned her shoulders so she was forced to face him.
“I don’t, though. I thought I would, but I don’t.”
He stroked the sides of her neck in a leisurely, hypnotic massage. Maryellen half closed her eyes and swayed toward him. Jon wove his fingers deep into her long hair and brought her mouth within a fraction of his own.
“After the way I’ve treated you, you should detest me,” she told him.
“I don’t, Maryellen,” he whispered, and his breath mingled with hers.
She parted her lips, anticipating his kiss. The tip of his tongue, moist and warm, outlined her mouth, and Maryellen moaned at the pure sensuality of it. Her lips parted further and Jon brushed his mouth against hers. His fingers tightened in her thick hair as he continued the kiss.
Maryellen tasted the salt of her tears and realized that she was weeping even as he kissed her. She heard him whisper, but couldn’t make out the words. Whatever he was saying didn’t seem nearly as important as what he was doing and what he was making her feel.
With her arms wrapped around him, she pressed against his hard, muscular strength. They were both panting, their shoulders heaving with the intensity of their desire.
A discordant sound made its way into her clouded mind. She groaned, not knowing where this lovemaking would take them, unwilling to stop. His hands cupped her breasts, and sensation bolted through her. With his mouth against hers, he unfastened her blouse and bra, and she felt his hands tremble as he eased his thumb over her swollen nipple. This latest invasion made her whimper as she tilted back her head.
The cry came again and Maryellen’s eyes flew open. “Katie,” she whispered. “It’s Katie.”
Jon drew back. They momentarily leaned against each other, trying to regain their equilibrium.
“You—I almost forgot the baby,” she said.
Jon laughed softly. “What baby? Oh, you mean our baby.”
“The very one.”
Maryellen stood up to check on Katie, who was fussing in earnest now. She punched the air with her arms and feet and screamed as though the world were ending. Maryellen supposed that for a baby, feeding time was about that important.
As discreetly as possible, Maryellen fastened her bra and blouse. It occurred to her that this was a bit silly, since she’d be unfastening them again in a minute. “Do you think we’ve warped her mind forever?” she asked, hoping to make light of what had happened between them.
“I can’t speak for Katie, but I know what you’ve done to me.”
“Are you…uncomfortable?” she asked, not knowing how to phrase the question any more delicately. Even when her intentions were good, she managed to hurt him—to reject him, either physically or emotionally. She assumed there’d been painful rejections in his past; all the signs were there. Her own life was colored with anguish he knew nothing about, distress that was impossible to share.
“I’ve been uncomfortable, as you put it, since the first night we kissed.”
She remembered that kiss. Halloween night a year ago. He’d walked her to her car after a party during which she’d introduced him to a friend. Her plan had been to foist him off on someone else in a pitiful attempt to get him out of her mind. That scheme had failed miserably, just like every other one she’d plotted in their bewildering relationship.
“I have to feed Katie,” she told him. Her feet felt unsteady as she reached for her daughter and positioned the infant in the crook of her arm. She sat down in her rocker, unfastened shirt and bra, and gave the baby her breast. Katie’s tiny mouth latched eagerly on to her nipple.
“I take it this is my cue to leave,” Jon said.
She nodded, unable to meet his gaze.
Jon stood only a few feet away. “I’ll leave the photos with you.”
“Thank you,” she whispered.