‘It was his choice,’ Joshua explained when the children were out of earshot. ‘He knows that John Russell is his father. But it is simpler for him this way. We came to a…an understanding. At present he likes horses better than ships, so I am an attractive prospect as the owner of an extensive stable.’ A smile—a little wry—touched his face. ‘Unless you object, of course.’
‘No. No—how could I?’ A flame of heat warmed her heart for this man who could take her and her son with such ease. Perhaps one day they would have children of their own. It was by no means an unpleasant prospect. Sarah turned back to watch her son, who was longingly and impatiently clinging to the head of a lively pony, hoping to hide the sudden heat in her cheeks.
Beth quickly came to her own understanding with Sarah. A pragmatic child as ever, she decided that she would address Sarah as Mama and did so in her solemn fashion from the very beginning.
The relaxed days in Richmond also gave Lord and Lady Faringdon time and space in which to discover each other. Sarah learnt that although her husband might appear stern, sometimes austere and given to moments of deep distraction, he was blessed with an appreciation of the ridiculous and a quick infectious grin. He was a man who liked matters arranged to his own way of thinking, but could be sensitive and thoughtful of her needs too. It was a shock to have her desires preempted, her wishes attended to, sometimes before she had even voiced them. How could she not love a man so stunningly attractive, so graciously disposed towards her? Sometimes he surprised her by his impulsive actions. He was very Faringdon, she decided as she observed Joshua ordering their removal from London to Richmond. There were traits of both Henry and Nicholas here, particularly his impatience when thwarted. But those two gentlemen had never made her heart race, brought a blush to her cheeks or a tingle to the surface of her skin at the very thought of the man’s touch. Even the slightest brush of his hand on her arm was enough to stir a heat in her belly. A response to him that she became very adept at masking.
When he came to her at night, Lord Joshua continued to be careful of her. Gentle at all times. He made no demands on her with which she might be uncomfortable. A man of honour in all things, she thought, no matter the scandals that surrounded his name. Perversely, she felt just a touch of disappointment. What would it be like if her lord felt real passion for her— to love her, to possess her with such intensity, such lack of control as to rob her of her will and her choice? She thought she might like it. Then blushed an even deeper hue. And had to accept that she lacked the confidence or knowledge to do anything about it.
But of course she did not expect her lord to be carried away, his control destroyed, in the heat of an overwhelming passion, did she?
Joshua at first found his wife shy. But then, perhaps not shy. It was just that she was not at ease with him yet. He had learnt very quickly that she needed encouragement to relax and be herself. She thought too much about what people might think of her, if they would approve of her, if they would be critical of her actions and opinions. She had a gentle humour, a tendency to chuckle before she became aware and stopped herself. But her quiet blue eyes would still dance. Patient, generous with her time, she lavished love openly on the children, Beth as well as John, determined that they should never lack for affection. Joshua watched her with a sharp prick of guilt for it seemed that Sarah knew his daughter better than he did. For herself, she needed to know that she was wanted, appreciated. When he came to her bed, a freedom within their relationship that he could not resist, she responded to his needs readily enough. But here, too, there was a reserve that made him hold back, prevented him from making too many demands on her. It pleased him that she slept easily in his arms.
Whatever the difficulties, they found a rapport in the days together. And a startling moment of illumination for both of them.
It became customary on mild days to ride in the expanse of Richmond Park, Lord Joshua with the two children. Sarah did not accompany them, but one afternoon, on her son’s insistence, went to the stables to admire his prowess. Joshua handed his horse to a groom and walked toward her, a welcoming smile.
‘Will you join us?’
‘No.’ Sarah shook her head, but he caught a glimpse of what he interpreted as regret.
On a thought he asked, ‘Can you ride?’ He had never considered that she could not, merely that it was not to her taste. Theodora rode, so he had presumed that her sister did also.
‘No. Our horses were sold.’
Of course. He had not thought of that. A childhood blighted by lack of resources, a profligate father and a feckless mother. Horseflesh would be the first luxury to be sold. He saw the faint colour in her face at the admission, but did not embarrass her with further comment.
‘Do you wish to? I can teach you.’
Sarah hesitated, finding herself struggling between a sharp desire to achieve that skill for herself, yet not wishing to put the burden of her inexperience on to anyone. Certainly not on to Joshua, who probably had his hands full with her son’s enthusiastic efforts. She must not be demanding of his time more than she already was. So: ‘No, but thank you for your kind offer. You go on. You will enjoy the air. I shall take a turn in the garden.’
He would have allowed her to turn away, to deny her interest, but her voice held so wistful a note. He realised in that moment that Sarah had lived her whole life at the whim of others, doing what would please them, never putting her own wishes forward. So much unlike his own life, where the desires of the Faringdon heir were paramount. Well, he would change all that. Today, she would be given the desires of her heart.
‘Sarah.’ He stretched out his hand to grasp hers, to stop her making a retreat. ‘Would you truly wish to ride?’
‘Not an animal such as that.’ She laughed, retreating into light humour, effectively hiding any personal inclination with consummate skill. She had been doing it for years, Lord Joshua decided. And he had only just come to realise it. He watched her as with a shake of her head she indicated her lord’s dark bay stallion, which was in process of pawing up the turf.
‘Sarah… ‘ He allowed just a hint of impatience to creep in.
She heard it. ‘I might.’ To agree was to escape.
‘Go and find something to wear.’ Definitely a command.
‘But I—’
‘We will wait for you.’
In a mild panic, Sarah cast an eye over to where the children were growing impatient.
‘Go on, Scheherazade.’ Joshua clasped her shoulders, turned her round and gave her a gentle but definite push in the direction of the house.
Sarah stalked off. She never stalked—but on this occasion she felt like it, ordered about as if she were a servant. Scheherazade indeed! The thought brought a shocked giggle to her throat, unsure of which emotion took precedence. Terrible nerves at the coming ordeal, disapproval of being ordered to ride whether she wished to or not or…or delight that she might actually, at last, learn to ride a horse.
Within the half hour Lady Faringdon marched back again into the stableyard, clad in plain skirt and close-fitting jacket, accompanied by an obvious cloud of indignation and an invisible but strong bout of nerves.
‘I don’t at all know of the wisdom of this… ‘ The frown between her brows was directed at her lord. Until her attention was caught by a movement in the stable doorway. ‘Oh…’
‘Mama. This is Jewel.’ A groom beside him to hold her head, John held the end of the reins of a little mare, so pale grey as to be almost white. Soft and gentle, perfectly proportioned, a lady’s riding horse with side saddle. Exactly like a painted palfrey, all neat lines and elegantly curving neck, glowing in the winter sunshine as if from a gilded medieval illustration.
‘She’ll look after you.’ Joshua could only smile at his wife’s obvious enchantment with the little animal. If any mare in his stable could entice a reluctant lady to risk the dangers of a first ride, it was The Jewel. And, he knew as he watched her, his wife was just