And why couldn’t she just enjoy it while it lasted?
They talked about old times, without touching on the painful parts. They talked about what each of them had been doing over the last seven years and slowly, began to work into…what? A friendship? No. That was too pale a word for the connection that hummed between them, whether they were acknowledging it or not.
Of course, because they were in a small town where they knew everyone, their dinner wasn’t completely private. Several people paused at their table to say hello and Amanda watched as Nathan became what he was: the sheriff. A man respected and trusted by everyone in town, he answered questions patiently and promised a couple of people to look into their problems. He carried power easily and she realized that the last several years had made a difference. He wasn’t the young, arrogant man she’d known back then. Oh, he was still cocky, that came across just fine, but there was an underlying thread of patience that the old Nathan had lacked.
It wasn’t just him that had changed. The years had left their mark on both of them. They weren’t the same people they had been seven years before. And maybe, if faced with the same situation today, they’d each react differently.
Not that it would change anything now, but she couldn’t help wondering how things might have been if only they had trusted each other more. Talked to each other, rather than reacting to the pain of the moment.
When they finished their meal, Amanda took a moment to glance around at the elegant dining room, filled with TCC members and their guests. No doubt every one of them would be spreading the word about this dinner she and Nathan had shared—but at the moment, she just didn’t care.
Seated across the linen-draped table from him drinking a cup of coffee, Amanda said, “Thank you. For…bringing me here. I had a great time.”
“Good.” He glanced at their bill, tucked money inside, then set the black leather folder at the edge of the table. Lifting his own coffee cup, he toasted her and said, “So did I, but the night’s not over yet.”
“Really? What could possibly top that fabulous dinner?”
“Dessert.”
She had to laugh. “Nathan, we both passed on dessert, remember?”
“You won’t pass on the one I’ve got in mind,” he assured her.
Amanda looked into his eyes and in the dancing candlelight, she read desire in those depths. Tingles of something expectant, something amazing, went off like sparklers in the pit of her belly and even lower.
A deep, throbbing ache pounded out inside her to the rhythm of her own heartbeat and the longer she held his gaze, the faster that rhythm became. Here was the danger, she told herself sternly. And if she had a single ounce of common sense, she’d ask him to take her home. Now. But she knew she wasn’t going to do that. It had been seven long years since she and Nathan had been alone together. Seven years since she’d felt this sizzle of bone-deep attraction. Years since she’d been able to look into those chocolate-brown eyes and see the need she saw now.
No. No matter what happened next, she wouldn’t be leaving him. Not yet.
“Well, now I’m intrigued,” she managed to say.
“Then let’s get going.” He stood up and held one hand out to her.
She only hesitated a moment before laying her hand in his and allowing him to draw her to her feet. Their gazes met and in the quiet elegance of the room, it felt as if explosions were going off all around them but only they could feel them. If interested gazes followed them as they left, Amanda was oblivious to them.
Nathan led her out of the club, into the warm, moist air of a Texas summer’s evening. Wherever they were headed next, she knew there was nowhere else she’d rather be.
As they drove through town and took a turn in the direction of the Battlelands, Amanda looked at Nathan’s profile. There was a slight smile on his face, but that told her nothing other than that he was pleased with himself. Hmm.
“Are we going to the ranch house?”
He glanced at her and smiled. “You’ll see.”
Why was he being so secretive? What was he up to?
She could play along, so she said, “It’d be nice to see Jake and Terri again. Been a long time since I’ve seen their kids.”
“Uh-huh. You will eventually.”
So, probably not going there right now. Okay, fine. She could be patient. To a point.
“How’re you and Pam getting along these days?”
The question caught her off guard and made her a little uncomfortable at the same time.
“About the same,” she said. “She’s glad I’m there in the diner, but I think she’d rather if I could phone in the work from somewhere else.”
He frowned. “She’s got some issues with you.”
“There’s a news flash,” she murmured. She had a couple of issues with Pam, too, now that she knew her sister had dated Nathan. Probably shouldn’t matter since she and Nathan were so done when it had happened. But it did matter, darn it. She didn’t like her big sister making a move on her ex. And one of these days, she and Pam were going to have to talk about that. But for now, she changed the subject. “Speaking of families, how’re Jake and Terri doing?”
Now he gave her a real smile. “They’re great. I know you’ve kept up with what’s going on here in Royal, so I’m guessing you know they have twin boys and a little girl?”
“Yeah,” she said, smiling wistfully. “Last time I came home to visit my dad before he—well, I made sure you were nowhere around and I met Terri and the kids in town.”
Nodding, he said only, “The twins are in kindergarten now and Emily’s talking all the time.”
A small ache settled in her chest, thinking about Nathan’s nephews and niece. Children always did that to her, though—made her remember that she’d been cheated out of her child. Amanda had been playing what-if for more than seven years—wondering how her life might be different if only she hadn’t lost Nathan’s child. They’d have married, of course—Nathan wouldn’t have had it any other way. But would they be happy? Or would he have always felt trapped by circumstances? Would she always wonder if he really loved her or had married her solely out of duty? Questions she would never have the answers to.
She tried to shake them off. “Emily’s almost two now, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, and a beauty. Has Jake wrapped around her tiny fingers, too.” He chuckled and shook his head. “Hard to believe sometimes that Jake’s a father, but he’s damn good at it.”
So would you have been, she couldn’t help thinking. And maybe his thoughts were mirroring hers because his features slid into more somber lines.
A few miles of silence filled the big black car before Nathan took a turn she recognized.
“So we’re not going to the ranch house at all.”
“Nope.”
“We’re going to the river.”
“That’s the plan.”
Nerves jittered and Amanda told herself not to build anything out of this. After all, Nathan had grown up on this land. He and Jake had spent most of their childhoods at the river, fishing, swimming, avoiding chores. For him, this place was just a part of his life. There was no reason to believe that Nathan felt the same…affection for this spot that she did. For Amanda, this river was magical. This one slice of his family’s ranch would