So she said nothing as she rooted through the few things in the diaper bag until she found a set of clean clothes. One of the four or five sets she’d been alternating with pajamas and washing over the four days she’d kept the baby.
“At some point, you’re going to have to go to your ex-wife’s house and get Bella some more clothes. I have several sets of pj’s and outfits for daytime in the bag, but it’s really only enough for two days. I’ve had to do laundry twice. Plus, we don’t have any of her toys. Things that might make her happy.” She glanced around. “You’ll also need her high chair and crib and walker and swing.”
“I don’t even know what half those things are.”
She rose from the sofa. “That’s okay. That’s why I’m here. To help you get set up. What do you say we call your driver and go over to Bella’s mom’s house and get her high chair and crib, more of her clothes and all of her toys?”
Matt stepped back as a sickening feeling gripped him. Go to Ginny’s, when she wasn’t there? Knowing she’d never be there again? Knowing he’d pushed her away? Reminding himself of everything he’d lost because he was cold, heartless and the one person who shouldn’t be raising her precious baby?
No. Absolutely not.
“I have a better idea. Why don’t we just order a new crib and high chair and whatever else she needs?”
Claire laughed. “Why buy new when she already has them?”
Only one of his eyebrows rose.
“Oh, I get it. You’re one of those money-is-no-object people.”
“And this is bad because…?”
“It’s not bad. It’s just that it might comfort her to have some of her own things around her.”
“If she’s been without them for four days, she’s probably forgotten them.” Guilt warred with pain as he turned to the desk. He knew Claire was right. Having her own things would comfort Bella. But he just couldn’t face going to that house. If he had to be strong for Bella, some concession had to be made for him.
“It’s been a very long day. This time yesterday, I was in London. Today I’m here…with a baby. Let me get on the phone and make a few calls and buy a high chair and a crib. Tomorrow if she still needs her things, I’ll make a run for them.”
She frowned, as if thinking, and Matt froze. He’d given his best argument. If she disagreed, if she pushed, he had no idea how he’d talk her out of going to Ginny’s. Because he couldn’t go. He absolutely couldn’t go.
Before she could say anything, Bella grabbed Claire’s pearls, wrapped them around her chubby fist and stuck her fist into her mouth.
Claire gasped. “Have you given her a bottle lately?”
“I asked, but it didn’t stop her crying so I assumed she didn’t want it.”
She groaned. “You don’t ask. You show her a bottle.” She walked over to the diaper bag, pulled out an empty bottle and kissed Bella’s shiny black hair. “Let’s go get you something to eat.”
Matt raced after her. “I don’t have anything for her to eat.”
“We’re just talking milk here.” She stopped, pivoted to face him. “Although we probably should feed her something before we give her a bottle.”
“I told you. I don’t have—”
She stopped him with a look. “Do you like oatmeal?”
He grimaced. “No.”
“Any cooked cereal at all?”
“No.”
She frowned and Matt’s heart sank. He was going to be a terrible father.
“Pudding?”
He brightened. “Yes! I love the little pudding cups. It’s a secret vice.”
“A secret vice that’s coming in handy.” She turned to walk away, but stopped again. “Where is the kitchen?”
He led the way down two halls, and after pushing through double swinging doors, they stood in his restaurant-size stainless-steel kitchen.
“Let me guess. There’s a ballroom somewhere in this house.”
“Not a ballroom,” he said, walking to the first refrigerator. “A party room.”
But he stopped and looked around, suddenly seeing what Claire saw. The house was big and beautiful, but it was also cold and intimidating. A child could get lost in here. And feel alone. He did not want Bella to feel alone. He did not want her going through what he went through.
Still, that was the whole point of getting a nanny. Though he might have to do more remodeling than just a nursery, the nanny would keep Bella busy, happy. As long as he didn’t get overwhelmed, he would work all this out.
He pulled open the refrigerator door, reached inside and came out with two little pudding cups. “Chocolate or vanilla?”
“Vanilla for now. Then one of us is going to have to go to a grocery store for real baby food.”
“Or we could call.”
“Call?”
After getting a spoon from a handy drawer, he directed her to a little table at the far end of the room. “Have a seat.”
She sat, settled Bella on her lap and took the pudding cup and spoon from his hands. Bella cooed and reached for it.
As Claire popped the lid, he headed for the desk in the other corner of the kitchen and sat in front of the computer. With a few strokes on the keyboard, he said, “Ah.”
She dipped the spoon into Bella’s pudding. “Ah?”
“I found our grocer.” He made a few clicks on his cell phone and put it to his ear. “This is Matt Patterson. I need to place an order.” He waited for his call to be transferred. When someone answered, he said, “This is Matt Patterson. I have a six-month-old baby at my home. I’ll need some baby food.” He paused, giving the clerk a chance to write down what he’d said. “And some milk.” Another pause. “For delivery. Thank you.” Then he hung up.
Sliding a spoon of pudding into Bella’s eager mouth, Claire said, “You didn’t even tell her what kind of baby food you wanted.”
“She’s paid to know. It’s an upscale store.”
Bella smacked her lips and grabbed Claire’s arm as if to direct her to give her another bite. Claire laughed. “She’s really hungry.”
“I see that.” He ambled over to the table. “Hey, kid.” He crouched so he was eye level with Bella. “You like that?”
She giggled. His first sense of relief in days flowed through him and he smiled. He might not know exactly what to do, but he did have enough money to hire people who did.
He rose. “So diaper is taken care of. Food is handled. I guess it’s time we order that crib?”
Bella screeched and slapped her chubby hands against the table. Claire quickly fed her more pudding, then she looked at him. “Yes. We should at least get a crib…and a high chair—oh, and a swing. And a baby monitor for while she’s napping. Once we go online and get item numbers—” She made a whirling motion with her hand. “Then you can call whoever it is you call for furniture and baby things and have them delivered.”
“Sounds like a plan.” A good plan. A wonderful plan. His common sense would carry him through. There was nothing to worry about.
Bella squealed happily, reinforcing his confidence, but a weird sensation tumbled through him. Sort of