His stomach knotted and he understood why she was so sympathetic to Bella. Right then and there, he strengthened his commitment to be the best father he could for his little girl, even as his chest tightened with sorrow for Claire’s loss. “I’m sorry.”
She poured one of the gels onto the washcloth, worked it into suds and leisurely ran the cloth over Bella’s soft skin. “It’s certainly not your fault.”
“I was apologizing for bringing up unhappy memories.”
“It’s okay.”
It really wasn’t. Not just for Claire, but for him. He’d spent most of his adult life upset over his mother taking him away from his real father and saddling him with a stepfather who didn’t want him, and then angry that his biological dad never tried to find him, to meet him—to anything.
But after hearing of Claire’s losses he felt like a heel.
He pointed toward the bedroom. “I’m going to go check on the crib, make sure that sheet is okay.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
Inside the bedroom, out of Claire’s sight, he ran his hand down his face. He got it. Lots of people had lives worse than his. But that didn’t diminish the fact that he had some problems. Not only did he have to meet four half siblings, but the twin and half sisters he’d been raised with would be in Texas, too. He had to meet his new siblings and deal with the old ones, when he was turned inside out about raising a baby because he’d lost Ginny. The one person who’d always loved him. Any other ex-wife would have been happy to be rid of him, but she’d kept him as a friend, made sure he had a part in her life even after she remarried. There was no one like Ginny who’d understood the real Matt Patterson and still liked him. True, she couldn’t be married to him but they had been friends. Good friends.
But now she was gone. And for the first time since he’d met Ginny, he was alone in the world.
Truly alone.
Claire lifted Bella out of the sink and rolled her in the thick fluffy white towel. She tickled her tummy and played with her a bit, but inside she was dying. The loneliness she’d felt after her mom’s death rolled over her as if it were yesterday, not decades ago. And she wished…well, she wished Matt would have comforted her. After that kiss, it was clear they both were attracted. Neither one could deny it. But he couldn’t find it in his heart to stay in the room and comfort her…or even really talk about her life.
Still, that was her luck with men. Her friends found good men, strong men, who knew how to love, how to comfort. She always seemed to be attracted to the self-absorbed guys.
Like Ben. He hadn’t really loved her. But she’d thought he had. And she’d loved his company. She loved having somebody to spend time with, somebody to think about the future with. But when he’d introduced her to his wife at her graduation—the day she’d believed he would propose to her—her whole world had fallen apart. Instead of proposing, he’d broken up with her. And not by saying, “I’m sorry. It didn’t work out.” No. He introduced her to his wife. A not-so-subtle way of saying, “Now, that you’re leaving the university, I have no need of you.”
Discovering he was married and realizing her loneliness had driven her to a bad relationship didn’t ease the pain of being alone after he was gone. Her bed wasn’t just empty; her life was empty. She had a fancy condo, new car and a degree, but her life was empty.
And that was what she saw when she really looked around this house—Matt’s house. Everything was perfect, beautiful, but untouched.
She rolled Bella into clean pajamas, telling herself Matt Patterson’s “untouched” house wasn’t any of her business. But she knew he was lonely, and his beliefs about relationships would keep him lonely. At least she was up front about her loneliness. At least she was trying to find real love in her life….
She snorted a laugh that made Bella giggle. Trying to find love? She hadn’t been attracted to a guy since Ben. Five years. And the first guy she’s attracted to is cold and unfeeling.
Yeah. She was brilliant at picking partners. Brilliant at working to cure her loneliness.
Still, he’d warned her he wasn’t the kind of guy who settled down or wanted relationships. She would be a good soldier and believe him.
She lifted clean and dressed Bella from the counter and nuzzled her neck. Matt Patterson might be a crappy choice for a boyfriend, but like it or not he had to be a dad. For Bella’s sake, she’d do whatever she could tonight to help him learn how to love this baby.
She carried Bella out of the bathroom and walked her into the room beside Matt’s bedroom to find Jimmy helping Matt put together a single bed.
“What’s this?”
“Well, I certainly didn’t want you sleeping on the floor.”
She hadn’t forgotten she was sleeping in the room next to Matt’s, but watching them put together a bed made it all very real.
“I called Jimmy and we brought this bed from storage.”
Jimmy inclined his head in greeting. “Brought your duffel bag up, too.”
She smiled. Jimmy was a funny, nice guy who didn’t put up with any crap from his boss, who seemed to have a knack for making her laugh. “Thanks.”
As they put the bed together, she carried Bella to one of the club chairs in front of the TV in Matt’s room and fed her a bottle.
When the bed was together, Jimmy left. Bella finished the last of her milk, her eyes drooping. Matt left the room for a minute and returned with clean linens.
Realizing they were for the bed she’d be using, Claire rose from her chair with sleeping Bella. “I’ll get those.”
“No. I’m fine.” He dumped the sheets on the single bed. “You take care of Bella.”
“She’s asleep.” Claire laid her in her crib, wondering how the heck this rich guy who wasn’t quite sure where to find a blanket knew so much about sheets. Not only was he making her bed now, but he’d put the sheet on the mattress in Bella’s crib. “And my work with her is done. So I can get those.”
“How about if we both do it?”
She walked over to the bed as Matt opened the fitted sheet, billowing it across the bed so she could catch her end and hook the corners over the mattress.
When it was on, Matt did the same thing with the flat sheet.
Uncomfortable with the silence between them, Claire said, “We really are running out of clothes for Bella.”
“We can buy new.”
“I know but she probably has tons of her own things. Wouldn’t it be nice to have some of the pretty things her mom picked out for her?”
Matt’s heart somersaulted. He knew Claire’s intentions were good, but every time he thought about Ginny his sadness got worse.
“Especially for that trip to Texas you’re taking. She’s going to be in a new environment again. It would be better for her to have some toys and her own clothes. Comfort things.”
Matt sniffed. “Comfort things?” He shook his head. “I’m the one who needs the comfort things. The whole trip-to-Texas family-reunion thing is going to be hell.”
“Hell?”
He stuffed a pillow in a pillowcase. “I haven’t really been involved in my family for a decade and this ‘reunion’ is all about meeting half siblings I didn’t even know I had.”
“You have stepsiblings?”
“Half siblings. It’s a long story.”
She