Through the growing fog of desire that was building inside him, he located a memory. ‘Sheer hell.’
‘Exactly. Stress city, and it’s well documented that sex releases tension and I have a very stressful time coming up.’
Was he hearing right? He didn’t dare to believe it so he asked, ‘Are you saying you want to have sex without the relationship part?’
Her other hand linked fingers with his. ‘Ever heard of friends with benefits?’
He had. ‘I didn’t think it really existed.’
She laughed. ‘Oh, it does. It works well for busy people. Unlike a relationship, we’re not at each other’s beck and call, but when it suits us both we get together. A sort of win-win situation.’
She’s right about the final year of surgery. There’s no time for anything other than work.
There’ll be a catch. Women don’t suggest this sort of thing. Guys do.
But the memory of being buried deep in Hayley was so strong and the thought of being there again was so tempting that it stampeded over the faint echoes of his concerns.
‘When do we start?’
‘I SHOULD go.’ Hayley sat forward, having spent the last twenty minutes leaning back on Tom’s chest as he sat propped up against a tree.
Two weeks had passed since she’d run into Tom at Café Luna. Seeing him sitting alone in the café had brought up a mix of contrary emotions, starting with shocked surprise, moving into relief and then finishing up with something that made her feel unexpectedly bereft at the thought of not seeing him again. That had propelled her to suggest being ‘friends with benefits’. It was the perfect solution. Obvious even.
She knew what she was getting into and it wasn’t like she’d never done it before. It suited her and if the past fortnight was anything to go by, it was the best decision she’d made in a long time. Not that they’d seen a lot of each other, but when they could coordinate their schedules, the sex had been as wondrous as their first time. Still, as amazing as the sex always was, it was times like the hour they’d just spent having a picnic in the park close to her cottage that she was really starting to treasure. They could talk for hours about all sorts of things and equally she could sit in companionable silence with him and not feel the need to talk. She hadn’t experienced anything close to that sort of ease with someone since Amy.
Tom’s arm, which had been resting casually across her chest, tightened against her and he nuzzled her neck. ‘Come back to my place.’
She turned and pressed her lips to his, loving that she could do that whenever they were alone. ‘Later. First I have to do another three hours of study and then you’re my treat for working hard. Will you be home about seven?’
‘Tonight, yes.’ He stroked her hair. ‘It seems I’m surrounded by people who are studying.’
‘How’s Jared going?’ She’d enjoyed helping the young man with the chemistry and had appreciated his rough but honest manner.
‘He’s working hard.’
It was the perfect segue to ask the question she’d long pondered. ‘How did Jared go from being your patient to your friend?’
The edges of Tom’s mouth tightened a fraction. ‘I don’t really know, but it was probably because he wouldn’t go away and now I’m stuck with him.’
But although he might think he sounded resigned and put upon, she saw his affection for the young man shining clearly on his face. ‘What’s the real story?’
The doctor moved to front and centre. ‘I clipped an aneurysm in his brain two months before I left for Perth. He came through Outpatients as a public patient and he was a bright kid, but, like a lot of kids from the western suburbs, life wasn’t easy and he had a massive chip on his shoulder. I don’t think I got more than grunts out of him before the operation.’
She smiled. ‘And let me guess, you chatted to him just like you talked to Gretel.’
Two deep lines carved into a V at the bridge of his nose. ‘I talked to him like I talk to all my patients.’
She shrugged. ‘Maybe you think you did, but I find some patients are easier to deal with than others. You might not realise it but you have a knack with young people.’
‘No, I don’t.’
‘Yeah, you do. Look at the medical students. It’s standing room only at your guest lecture spots.’
‘Only because they’ll be failed if they don’t turn up.’
She dug him in the ribs with her elbow—half joking and half serious. ‘That’s not the only reason and you know it. You’re a good lecturer because you speak to them, not at them.’
A muscle twitched in his jaw. ‘I’d rather be operating.’
She flinched, absorbing the hit of his pain, but then she took the reality road—a path she’d always taken with him because she knew the ‘if only’ road was a dead end filled with unrelenting despair. ‘I know you’d rather be operating, but you can’t so why not embrace this avenue of medicine? You enjoy young people’s company, you must or you wouldn’t have Jared over at your place so often.’
His shoulders rose and fell. ‘I think I must have seen something in Jared that reminded me of myself at a similar age. That and the fact he lives five streets away from where I grew up.’
She recalled the comment he’d made about her Northern Beaches upbringing. ‘And that wasn’t the Northern Beaches?’
His laugh was harsh and abrupt. ‘As far from there as you can possibly get.’
She wanted to know. ‘Where?’
‘Derrybrook Estate.’
She’d heard of it, but had never been there. ‘What’s it like?’
‘It’s got the highest unemployment rate in the city, is a hub for crime and drugs, and most kids drop out of school by sixteen.’
She thought about his polished veneer and how whenever he was angry or stressed it cracked, exposing the rough edges he’d obviously worked hard at smoothing over. Now it all made sense. She found herself imagining a struggling family with a bright son. ‘Studies have shown that no matter the economic circumstances, if a family values education that’s the one thing that makes the difference.’
He flinched and his high cheekbones sharpened. ‘I wouldn’t know about that. The fact I stayed at school had absolutely nothing to do with my family.’
His words stung like a slap. ‘Oh. I just assumed that—’
‘Yeah, well, don’t.’ He flattened his spine against the tree as if he wanted to move away from her.
‘I’m sorry. Obviously, though, you not only finished school, you went on to have a brilliant career.’
‘Had.’
‘Do.’ She didn’t realise she could sound so much like a school teacher. ‘The fact it’s different doesn’t make it any less.’
‘If you say so.’
She knew he didn’t believe her and she ached for him because for some reason he didn’t seem to recognise that he was a great teacher. ‘Can you just answer my original question, please?’
The stubble on his now drawn-in cheeks made him look thunderous and she wondered if he was going to say anything more. She’d just about given up when he spoke.
‘You’re