Emily put her head in her hands. ‘It was probably too late anyway.’
Lily’s eyes opened wide. ‘You’ve slept with him!’
Emily sighed. ‘I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you.’
‘Oh.’ Lily hugged her. ‘He’s a very cool guy.’
Emily nodded. Ridiculously proud of him. ‘He’s amazing. But he has issues. In fact, I have issues. Like he’s leaving in a couple of weeks and the more I see of him the harder it’s going to be when he leaves. I should stop now.’
Lily laughed and stood up. ‘If only it was that easy. And they all have issues. Look at Finn.’
They looked at each other and shook their heads. ‘Wouldn’t be Evie for quids.’
EVIE wouldn’t have agreed. It wasn’t easy but she’d chosen her man and she would make it work. She’d tracked Finn to his office again and this time she shut the door behind her when she went in.
He’d been working on some papers and his eyebrows lifted mockingly. ‘Come to take advantage of my previous weakness?’
She was over him pretending they didn’t have a mutual attraction. ‘I’ve decided to stake my claim.’
‘Claim on what?’ He glanced down at himself. ‘A broken-down quack with a penchant for princesses?’
She so didn’t see him like that. ‘I think you’re the most amazing surgeon I’ve ever met.’ She gave him a hard stare. ‘And I’m trying to keep you away from barmaids.’
He shook his head. ‘I never slept with her, Evie.’
He hadn’t? So all that angst had been for nothing. She could feel her temper rise. ‘Well, thanks for putting me out of my misery.’
He stood up. Stared at her and then crossed the floor. She held her ground despite the unnerving stare he kept her pinned with. ‘Misery is my middle name. You wanna play with me then get used to it.’
‘Well, Pollyanna is mine so expect some disagreements.’
He laughed, short and sharp, and to her relief his face softened. ‘Why on earth would a gorgeous girl like you want me? How long do you seriously think this is going to last?’
‘I was hoping for ever.’
He pulled her in and held her against him and she knew this was where she wanted to be. She knew how hard it must have been for him to make the decision to let her into his very private world and she still couldn’t believe her luck. She hugged him and even the tiny easing of his tension made her feel hopeful.
‘I love you, Finn.’
This time he crushed her against his chest but it was over too soon. She tried not to be disappointed he couldn’t bring himself to return the declaration.
Her whole damn childhood had been like that. Cold emotions, brick walls between her parents—she didn’t want that with Finn. Surely she hadn’t chosen a man that would freeze her out like her father had frozen her mother out?
But she wasn’t as easily bowed as her mother. She’d make him join the human race if it killed her. Or him.
‘A little bit of feedback wouldn’t go astray here, Finn.’
Finn strangled back a laugh. Not a sound she heard nearly enough but it was so good to hear it now. ‘Evie, you are some woman.’
‘I know. It’s about time you appreciated me.’ She needed to hear this.
His hard blue eyes softened further. ‘Oh, I do. Don’t you worry.’
Like blood from a stone. ‘I repeat. Some feedback would be good.’
‘I didn’t realise you were so needy.’ The old Finn was back.
Ohh. She could strangle him. ‘You don’t realise much at all do you, Finn, that isn’t directly related to Sydney Harbour Hospital? You live and breathe this place and I’m asking that you cut yourself a little slack to think about the outside world.’
‘Why?’ He shot her hard look. ‘Because you think I might have to give it up? Is that it, Evie? Is this another discussion leading to that experimental surgery?’ As if he was surprised she’d brought it up again.
Well, yes. ‘If I don’t have that discussion with you, who will?’ She pointed her finger at him. ‘You’ll shut down any of your few friends that dare to bring it up.’
He shrugged and turned away.
‘You’ll block out your doctor’s recommendations.’
Finn laughed again but this time Evie didn’t like the sound. ‘It’s been done before. Happens to me with my patients all the time.’
She wasn’t listening to excuses. ‘I might be your only chance, Finn. And I’m going to push until you face the reality. There is no choice.’
‘There is a choice, Evie!’ He turned and faced her and this time she saw, way at the back of his eyes, the fear of being less than a man. ‘At least if I don’t have the operation I can walk away. If I have it I might be flat on my back without that choice.’
She stepped up to him. Wrapped her arms around him and he stood stiff in her embrace. ‘You can’t put up with this pain for ever, Finn.’
Still he wouldn’t lean into her. ‘I’m putting up with it now.’
She stepped back so she could see his face. Plead her case. ‘You’re drinking too much. Your analgesia is becoming ineffective, the exercise that used to help isn’t doing its job any more.’
He glared at her. Building barriers faster than she could break them down. ‘If you can’t stand the way I am then get out, Evie.’
She shook her head. Glared right back. ‘You’d like that, wouldn’t you? That way you could just go back to drowning out life along with the pain and self-destruct in your own time.’
He didn’t deny it.
‘Well.’ She put her hands on her hips. ‘I reiterate, I love you, Finn Kennedy, and I’m going to fight tooth and nail for you and the life we could have together. It’s your job to make that decision.’
Still no response. She took a deep breath and dived in where very few had dared. ‘You need to take the step to stop suffering physically and emotionally from the explosion that killed your brother, Finn.’
His eyes blazed. ‘That’s enough.’
She nodded. Not surprised, and sorry she’d had to hurt him, but he needed to break through the barrier. ‘It probably is.’
She stepped away. Physically and mentally. ‘I’m too frustrated to talk to you any more today, Finn.’
Finn watched her go. Damn her. Well, he wasn’t chasing her every time she got the huffs.
By Wednesday Finn was looking for Evie. He’d had three horrendous nights’ sleep, the pain was getting worse and he’d dropped his keys beside his car this morning and they’d almost gone down a manhole. Maybe he did need to consider the op.
Now, for the first time in his life, he wanted to share his thoughts with another person. Apparently that was what she wanted, but Evie was giving him the cold shoulder, and now he couldn’t find her. Maybe he’d driven her away with his disgusting temper but he’d thought she had more staying power than that.
‘There you are.’ She was suturing a boy’s hand in the emergency room theatre and she looked amazing. He felt like hell.
‘I’ve