Gratitude for all that he’d done for her was filling Ellie’s heart. Competing—no, meshing with the overwhelming love she already had for the tiny person she still held in her arms. It was all too much and it seemed to be getting hard to breathe again. So hard, it was utterly exhausting.
A pinging sound came from somewhere above her head and then there was the sound of footsteps approaching rapidly.
‘Oxygen saturation level’s way down,’ a nurse observed. The alarm was silenced.
‘Hardly surprising. First time she’s been awake and it’s been an emotional reunion for these two.’
‘Of course it has. But I need to put some oxygen on and she needs to rest. I think you’ll have to take baby back to the PICU, Dr McAdam.’
‘No.’ The word was ripped out of Ellie in a gasp.
‘Just for a while, Ellie.’ Max’s hands were moving under her arms already, preparing to lift the precious bundle. He was still bent over her. ‘She’s being taken good care of, I promise.’ His mouth was so close Ellie could see every nuance of the words being made. ‘She’s safe, Ellie. Believe it and rest. We both want you to rest and get better.’
‘Of course you do.’ The nurse had a smile in her voice. ‘Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of Mrs McAdam for you.’
Mrs McAdam?
This was a dream. Or maybe a nightmare, Ellie decided as Max took her daughter from her arms. But then he leaned in and kissed her. Softly, on her lips, and Ellie found her eyes drifting shut. This was most definitely a dream.
‘Sleep well, darling,’ he said clearly. ‘I’ll be back very soon.’
This time when Ellie woke her eyes snapped open and focused instantly. The wave of disappointment at finding the space beside her bed empty was enough to make her cry out.
‘What’s wrong?’ The nurse was on the other side of the bed and Ellie could see a cotton bud in her hand as she turned her head. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you but your lips were looking so dry and uncomfortable.’
‘Where are they?’ Ellie knew she sounded frightened but she was, dammit. She was alone apart from a nurse she didn’t recognise. Was her baby alone too? Feeling unprotected and vulnerable?
‘It’s two a.m., Ellie,’ the nurse said kindly. ‘They’ll be asleep. I expect your baby is safely tucked up in her crib and that Max is sprawled in the armchair beside her.’ Her voice took on a wistful note. ‘Or maybe he’s holding her right now. He won’t let anyone else feed her, you know.’
Ellie stared at the nurse. No, she didn’t know and she didn’t understand. ‘But…it’s been days,’ she said finally, her voice wobbling. ‘Days and days.’
‘I know.’ The nurse, an attractive blonde with a name tag that said ‘Tori’, took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. Then she smiled at Ellie. ‘We were all gobsmacked to hear that Max had got married secretly, but you know what’s blown everyone away even more?’
Ellie shook her head slowly. So it hadn’t been a dream. She had to pretend she was Max’s wife for the moment. Oh…Lord!
‘What an amazing father he’s turned out to be,’ Tori said. ‘He was wearing his leathers when he came in with you, do you remember?’
Ellie found herself smiling. Oh…yes…
‘I don’t think he got out of them for the next thirty-six hours. He was sitting up there in the PICU doing kangaroo care. I’ve got a friend who works in there and she said that none of them could take their eyes off him. There he was, in those mega-masculine clothes, with a newborn baby skin to skin with him on his chest. Tucked under that leather jacket. Can you imagine?’
Ellie could. She remembered that jacket. And that chest. Maybe her contact had been very brief but she would never forget how solid it had felt. How safe. There’d been layers of clothes over it, of course but, oddly, it was all too easy to imagine how it might feel skin to skin. It gave her a sharp twinge in a painful place deep down in her belly. Painful but far from unpleasant.
She went back to picturing her baby and she knew how protected she would have felt and it was enough to bring tears to her eyes. She loved Max for what he’d done for her daughter. She would never, ever be able to thank him enough.
‘He didn’t have to keep it up for so long,’ Tori continued as she poured water from a jug on the bedside table into a cup that had a built-in straw. ‘A few hours at a time would probably have been enough to get all the medical benefits for the baby but he wouldn’t leave her. He got his shifts in Emergency covered and stuff brought in from home. He’s practically moved in.’ Tori was smiling widely now. ‘Not that any of the nursing staff are complaining, mind you. Would you like a drink of water?’
‘Yes, please.’
‘Just a sip to start with. Your tummy hasn’t had anything in it for a while and I don’t want you throwing up.’
Ellie sipped the cool water and it tasted wonderful. She drew in a deep breath. And then another. It felt easier.
‘Any pain?’ Tori queried.
Ellie thought about it. That was better too. ‘I feel good…I think. Can I sit up? Or go to the loo or something?’
‘You don’t need to. You’ve still got a catheter in. I think they’re planning on taking it out tomorrow and you might be able to have a shower, even. Word is that if you stay as stable as you’ve been today, they’ll shift you out of ICU and onto the ward. The maternity ward,’ the nurse added with another smile. ‘You can have your baby right beside you. How good will that be?’
But Ellie was frowning as she remembered something Tori had said earlier. ‘Why is she in the PICU? Max said she was fine.’ Her mouth trembled. ‘He said she was p-perfect.’
‘She is,’ Tori assured her hurriedly. ‘On the small side, but there’s nothing wrong with her. She went there initially because she needed watching but now it’s more like staff privilege, I guess. It was a private space for Max to do the kangaroo thing. I think he might have been a bit embarrassed to be seen bonding with his baby like that, you know?’ She chuckled. ‘Men, eh?’
‘Mmm.’ Of course he would have been embarrassed. It wasn’t even his baby.
What on earth had made Max go this far to help her? A total stranger. He had to be the most extraordinary person she’d ever met. Never mind how lucky his future wife would be. She was the lucky one right now.
‘Would you like a bit of a wash, seeing as you’re awake? I could help you clean your teeth.’
‘That would be wonderful.’
‘And then you can catch some more sleep and when you wake up in the morning, I’ll bet your family will be back in here.’ Tori paused as she headed off for supplies. ‘Have you guys got a name for the baby yet?’
‘No…I kind of expected it would be a boy.’
A boy that she would always have worried might turn out to be like his father. But what had Max said? That her baby might be a girl and pretty, just like her mum.
Max thought she was pretty? Ellie could feel the flush of warmth in her cheeks.
‘You’re looking so much better.’ Tori sounded satisfied. ‘And there’s no rush to come up with a name. Legally, I believe you’ve got a month before she has to be registered.’ She grinned. ‘Her dad started calling her “Mouse” and everyone else is now. Mouse McAdam. Bit different, anyway.’
Yes. Different. Untraceable.
Safe.
The end was in sight.
It should be a huge