Chase shot up out of bed with a start. His hands were fisted, the sweat poured off his forehead and the sheets lay on the floor in a tangled knot.
Dammit. He hadn’t had that dream in years.
Looking around the bedroom of his suite at the B&B, he tried to get his bearings—tried to remember how to breathe. He grabbed his slacks off the back of a chair, pulled them on and opened the French doors out to his private balcony.
In three long strides he was outside, holding on to the railing with a deadly grip. He stared unseeing out at the pearly gray predawn that was casting quiet shadows over the southern Louisiana swamp.
He took a deep breath and blew it out. It hadn’t occurred to him that coming back here and facing his past would bring back that dream. He should’ve known.
In fact, he should welcome the old dream, though it always left his body aching for Kate and his soul starved for words that never came. The familiar dream scene was not the worst thing that had happened that fateful June night so long ago. The pain of betrayal was much harder to live with. But the dream of Kate lying under him and looking up with what should’ve been love in her eyes was the memory that hurt the most.
That look had been all a lie. And he needed to keep the pain fresh in his mind when he dealt with Kate now.
A lone Snowy Egret caught his attention as it swooped low in the skies between the B&B and the swamp. It was a beautiful and graceful sight with its white plumes and its slow, gliding movements. But all the bird’s solo flight succeeded in doing was driving home the point that Chase had lived with for most of his life.
He was a loner and had been happily content with his own company for as long as he could remember. A solitary man who needed no one and should expect nothing that he didn’t make for himself.
Kate stopped walking and looked up, watching the Snowy Egret as it glided past and headed out toward the Gulf. It was exactly this kind of beautiful sight she would miss the most if she had to leave town and her home to find work in the city.
She lowered her head and trudged on down the ancient path, leading between Live Oak Hall and the mill. How many more times would she be allowed to make this trip in the quiet early hours? How many more times would she make the return trip, watching as the sunset streaked its fantastic rose and gold hues over her plantation home?
Everything depended on Chase now. Her father had never let her contribute ideas concerning her own destiny. Now it looked as if Chase was going to do the same thing.
When the outline of the mill came into view, she forced her slumping shoulders back into some semblance of a straight line. It had been a very long night, tossing and turning with the erotic flashes of Chase taking her into his arms and running his hands over her body.
She hadn’t allowed herself to dream or even to think of those things in so many years it seemed like forever. But that whole scene with Chase on the B&B’s terrace last night had stirred up more than just the dreams.
Taking her hands out of her jacket pockets, Kate looked down on her bandaged finger and thought about the sensual sensations that had rolled over her in waves as he sucked her finger into his mouth. It gave her chills even now as the sun was beginning to warm the landscape and the morning mists disappeared back into their hiding places in the dismal swamp.
If Chase was serious about making her his mistress in payment for letting Shelby stay in the guest house, she would happily jump right in. There wasn’t much she could ever hope to do to repay him for the wrongs that had been done to him so long ago. The wrongs that she had helped create with her own stupid mistakes.
Seeing him make a success of the mill and living happily in Live Oak Hall wasn’t anything she could have a real part in. Those were the kinds of things he would have to get for himself. Though he probably deserved to be given those things and much more from the town that had deserted him when he needed them the most.
But if he really still did want her…body, she would give it gladly. She knew herself well enough to know she would never let on to him that he could also have her heart—did have her heart—and always would. No, that would be giving him too much power. The two of them weren’t meant for a future together, a fact she had accepted long ago with regret.
Kate stepped into the mill’s office and removed her jacket. Listening for sounds that would tell her that Chase was already at work, the sound she heard instead was a soft crying sob. She followed it around a corner and found her secretary, sitting at her desk and bent over in tears.
“Rose? What’s wrong?” Kate went to her and began patting her back.
“He’s going to deliberately ruin us,” Rose sobbed. “None of us will have a job. We’ll all have to leave our homes.”
“Shush, shush, chère. What makes you say these things? Is Chase here?”
Rose shook her head and looked up into Kate’s eyes. “No, not yet. But the word is all over town. He’s come for revenge and means to get even with everyone in Bayou City for how they treated him as a kid.”
Kate leaned over to put an arm around her secretary’s shoulders. “Nonsense, Rose. You’ve lived in this place all your life. I can’t imagine you’d start believing the town gossip at this late date when I’m positive you know better than that.”
Besides, Kate thought grimly, the only people left here that Chase had a real reason to hate were her father and herself. And her father was beyond his reach now.
“Chase is obviously a successful businessman, Rose. I don’t believe he would deliberately throw money away just to even an old score. He’s much smarter than that.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, chère.” The deep sound of Chase’s voice came from the doorway.
Kate twisted around to see him leaning against the threshold with his arms folded across his chest, studying her. “Chase. I didn’t hear you…”
“But I don’t need your support,” he interrupted.
She stood up and sighed silently to herself. No, he would never allow her to give him anything. She knew that, but it stung all the same.
He narrowed his eyes to scrutinize her, and the close survey began to make her feel all itchy, like she’d forgotten to wash.
Chase took a couple of steps into the room toward her. “In fact, judging from how you look, I won’t need anything from you today.” He turned to address Rose. “Do you think you can show me where the files are without dissolving into a weepy mess, young woman?”
Rose sniffed once and nodded without opening her mouth.
“Fine.” He turned back and lowered his voice to a growl. “Go home, Kate. You look terrible. I’ll expect you to appear rested and at your best for our appointment this evening.”
“But, Chase…”
“Go home. There’s nothing you can do for me—until tonight.”
Kate fisted her hands at her side and bit her tongue to keep from saying something she would forever regret. Chase was acting like a real jerk, but she knew he was a different person deep inside. He just couldn’t have changed that much in ten years. But he did have reason enough to hate her, and there was nothing she could ever do or say to fix things.
So she clamped her mouth shut and turned away, running from the memories. Running from her heart. And running from the pain of accepting the consequences of her past.
Chase drove a hand through his hair and leaned back in the desk chair. He couldn’t seem to concentrate on the damn accounts when all he could think of were the deep-purple smudges that had been under Kate’s eyes and the bone-weary slouch of her shoulders this morning.
He’d come to Bayou City with the intention