“Yes, of course.” She pulled several magazine issues from her satchel. “These should give you an idea of the type of piece I have in mind.”
“Come, sit down.” Siobhan took one of the magazines and handed another to Seth. Then she drew Julie down beside her on the well-worn sofa.
Julie began explaining the photo piece she’d done on women pilots, but she could only give it half of her attention. The other half was focused on Seth, who sat opposite them with an article she’d done on one of the grand old resort hotels of the Maryland shore. He frowned at something, and her throat tightened.
Ridiculous, to care what he thought of her work. They had no relationship, in spite of the fact that he’d been married to her sister. That was the way Lisa had wanted it. The way she wanted it.
He glanced at her. “I’ve seen this place, but your pictures make me think I’ve never really looked at it.”
She was irrationally pleased. “I hope that’s a compliment.”
“It is.”
He gave her that easy grin, and her breath caught. Seth might be the quieter of the Flanagans, but he packed a powerful masculine punch, all the same.
“I’m telling you, if we’d taken in a bigger line to begin with—”
Two men came in, their conversation stopping when they saw her. Even as she tried to identify them from what the investigator had told her, a young woman came in behind them, running her hand through tumbled red curls. More Flanagans, obviously.
Her nerves twitched again as Davy ran to the older man, who picked him up, kissed him, then tossed him casually to the woman. She’d be the first one to admit she didn’t know anything about raising an almost-three-year-old, but surely all that stimulation couldn’t be good for him right before supper.
She and Lisa had always had an early supper in the nursery, followed by bath and bed, supervised by a revolving progression of nannies and au pairs. She had a vague memory of Lisa’s mother popping in to say good-night once they were in bed. She’d worn silk and diamonds and smelled of expensive perfume.
No one had stayed in their lives long. Not her mother or Lisa’s mother or any of the nannies. She wouldn’t want that for Davy, obviously, but was this better?
Her head already throbbed from too many people talking at once. There were way too many Flanagans.
She stood, trying to make sense of the introductions flying at her. Seth’s father, Joe, bluff and hearty. His white hair still had traces of the red it had once been. Seth’s minister cousin, Brendan, who was also the fire department chaplain, explained that his fiancée was working late so he’d come to beg supper from his aunt. The red-haired young woman was Terry, Seth’s paramedic sister.
Too much confusion. She backed up until she bumped into the mantel. This was better. She could stay out of the mainstream and observe. If only she could put a camera in front of her face, she’d be fine.
Did they always all talk at once? And pass Davy around in that casual manner? Apparently there had been a fire call after she’d left the station that afternoon, and they were engaged in an animated argument over the order in which equipment had been called in.
She took a steadying breath. This was her chance to observe, she reminded herself. She could see how they interacted with Davy and with each other.
Seth was the quiet one, she realized, but not for any lack of strength. He came across as solid and even-tempered, a peacemaker in the face of some flippant remark of Ryan’s that brought a rebuke from his father, or Terry’s passionate defense to Brendan of some action Julie didn’t understand. For that matter, they all seemed to be speaking a language they understood and she didn’t.
In the midst of the hubbub, Seth’s gaze met hers. His smile seemed to pierce her heart, adding another layer to the confusion.
He took a few steps toward her. “Still sure you want to have anything to do with the Flanagans?” he asked. “Trust me, it’s even worse when the rest of the family is here.”
Family. The word lodged in her mind like a shard of glass. What was she doing, trying to evaluate the family Lisa had chosen? She certainly didn’t have any basis for comparison.
She could back out. It wasn’t too late. She could leave, and no one would ever know.
Davy, racing across the room after a ball, ran full tilt into her. She stooped to catch him, seeing the laughter that lit his eyes and engaged his whole body.
Her breath caught, and for an instant she thought her heart did, too. Who was she trying to kid? She couldn’t back out. For better or worse, she had to go through with this.
Chapter Two
Her mind fogged from a mostly sleepless night, Julie drove along the tree-lined street that led to the fire station. Even several cups of coffee had not been enough to clear her head. She wasn’t ready to join Seth for this orientation meeting he’d arranged at the firehouse this morning, but she didn’t have a choice.
She’d spent most of the night trying to sort out her feelings, only to find that they defied classification. She’d thought she could do this thing calmly, coolly, without emotional involvement. Instead she’d found that just seeing Davy had brought on a torrent of memories that hadn’t surfaced in years.
One still clung, as insubstantial as a cobweb but just as hard to get rid of. Lisa couldn’t have been much older than Davy, so Julie had probably been about five. Lisa had woken with one of the nightmares she’d had so frequently. Their nanny-of-the-moment hadn’t been patient with children who cried after they’d been put to bed, so Julie had taken Lisa into bed with her.
They’d snuggled together, and she’d patted Lisa, telling her over and over that everything was all right. Finally she’d felt the small body relax into sleep against her.
It’s all right, Lisa. I’ll take care of you.
But she hadn’t. If she had, maybe Lisa wouldn’t have found it necessary to break all ties with her in order to start her new life.
I let her down. I didn’t mean to, but I did. Did God accept that as an excuse? Probably not.
I won’t let Davy down. I promise. I’ll do what’s best for Lisa’s son.
That meant gaining Seth’s acceptance in order to see what Davy’s life was like, so that’s what she would do.
Then what? For an instant something in her rebelled in answer to that. She’d have to disappear. She couldn’t continue to be a part of Davy’s life, because if she did, her father might find out that the boy existed.
Ronald Alexander’s potential response to that knowledge was incalculable, but the only thing he’d ever loved was wielding power. If he knew about Lisa’s child, he wouldn’t be able to resist trying to control the little boy’s life.
So he could never know. She drew up at the curb, switching off the ignition. She didn’t have any choice but to go forward. Maybe, belatedly, she could keep the promise she’d made to Lisa.
She walked into the huge, echoing garage. Seth knew she was coming, so he’d be around someplace. A figure moved on the back of one of the fire trucks, drawing her attention. Seth jumped lightly to the concrete floor and came toward her.
“Julie. Hi.”
He wiped his hands on a rag as he approached her, his body compact and sturdy in the uniform’s dark blue pants and shirt with the red-and-white Suffolk Fire Department patch. Her stomach gave a little flutter of nerves.
“Hi. I hope this is a convenient time for me to pester you on the job.”
“It’s fine unless the alarm goes, but nobody can predict that.” If he thought her presence was a