He pivoted and burst out the back door to the parking area behind the stores, stopping in the middle and bending over, resting his hands on his thighs as he drew deep breaths into his lungs. God help me. After a few moments, he felt the panic ease. He straightened and raked his fingers across his scalp. His gaze drifted upward, landing on a white steeple visible above the row of brick buildings. The sun glinted off the copper finial, sending rays of light outward.
The Lord is my shepherd. He inhaled, reciting the psalm silently as he concentrated on taking slow measured breaths. By the time he got to Thy rod and thy staff, his heart rate was returning to normal, but his gut was still in knots. Lunch was out of the question. Being around people was impossible.
He walked to his car, climbed in and drove the few miles out of Dover to his motel room. Safely inside, he fell on the bed and tried to sort out what to do next. He couldn’t stay at the store. He couldn’t work there every day seeing Nicki and the baby. He’d go mad. All the work he’d put in over the past year would be gone.
There was only one solution. He had to quit. Today. He wanted to call her immediately and tell her, but he couldn’t walk out in the middle of the day. Not after promising her he’d be around to help her redo the store. He’d fight through the rest of the afternoon, but at six tonight he’d tell her he was done. He hated to see the disappointment in her blue eyes, but he had no choice.
He looked at Ron’s card, lying on the bedside table. He could call. Talk it out. But his emotions were too raw. He needed time to process what he was feeling. At the very least, time to calm down.
Service. He had to think of his last few hours as service. Then he could get through it. Doing for others had been how he’d gotten through it the first time. That, along with prayer and talking to Paul.
Feeling in control once more, he picked up his keys and headed back. All he had to do was make it through a couple of hours. So much for Dover being the refuge he’d hoped for.
The incident with Ethan replayed in Nicki’s mind as she carried her daughter to the kitchen and prepared a bottle. When she’d seen him in the office doorway, she’d been anxious to show off her beautiful little girl. But instead of the smile and compliments she normally received, Ethan had stared at her and Sadie with a look of shock and horror. He’d paled, and his eyes had glazed over, as if he were seeing something else. He’d mumbled something about lunch, then bolted.
There was no explanation she could think of for his odd behavior. Maybe he didn’t like children. Or maybe he’d lost a child and seeing Sadie had reminded him of his loss. Had she made another foolish mistake in hiring him? Maybe her mother was right after all. He’d provided only the barest of information on his job application. Social Security number and a birthdate that made him thirty-three as of a few months ago.
He’d listed his college, but not his degree. Why wouldn’t you want people to know what you’d done before? Maybe he had a criminal past. She should have done a background check on him first. She thought back to all the times her husband had kept secrets from her. She’d ignored her instincts and paid a huge price for it.
Brad had always made her feel off balance and uncertain. She didn’t get the same sense from Ethan. She snuggled Sadie a little closer against her. “I don’t think there’s anything sinister about Ethan, do you, sweetheart?” Mysterious maybe, and private, but she always felt safe around him. Something she hadn’t felt in a long time. She told herself to forget the incident. But she couldn’t dismiss the darkness she’d seen in his eyes.
With her daughter fed and happy, she put her down for tummy time, adjusted the volume on the baby monitor, then went out into the store. The bell hadn’t jingled once in the past forty-five minutes. But business was always slow on Mondays. Today that would work to her advantage. She wanted to have this sale set up and the sign posted. Maybe she could lure some bargain hunters in before the store closed.
As always, Ethan had completed his work. The lower shelves had been removed, and the tables were in place. All she had to do was put out the merchandise and pray it would sell quickly.
Taking the roll of tape and a pair of scissors from the drawer at the sales counter, she carried the long, colorful sale sign she’d dug out earlier and moved to the old-fashioned raised display window, using a small stool to step onto the platform. The sign was bulky and awkward. She was struggling with the tape when the bell chimed and Debi walked in.
“You having a sale?”
Nicki lowered the sign and nodded. “Yes. A clearance sale. I’ve got to get rid of all this old stuff so I can bring in new merchandise. Things people go to Sawyer’s Bend or Jackson for. I want to keep them here in Dover.”
Debi’s smiled brightened. “Sounds like a good idea.”
Nicki stepped down from the window and sighed. “But first I have to put up this sign and I can’t reach it.” She laid the sign and tape on the shelf. “I’ll have to have Ethan do it when he gets back from lunch.”
“Ethan?” Debi’s eyebrows arched.
“The guy I hired Saturday.”
Debi went still, her gaze directed toward the back of the store. “You mean him?”
Nicki looked around and saw Ethan approaching. As he came closer, she noticed his stiff shoulders and unreadable expression. He was suppressing his emotions. Something she was familiar with. Had seeing Sadie caused that, or had something else happened? She forced a smile, then introduced Debi. Ethan nodded, keeping his hands at his sides.
“Do you need help with that?” He glanced at the sign lying on the window shelf.
“Yes, thank you.” She picked up the tape and scissors and held them out to him. He took the tape first, his fingers brushing against hers and causing her breath to catch. She looked into his eyes to see if he’d felt something too, but his gaze was unreadable and his jaw was set in a hard line. When he lifted the scissors from her grasp, he touched only the handles. “Uh, I’d like it draped through the middle of the window.”
Inside the window area, he secured one side, then the other. Nicki watched his progress closely, telling herself she wanted to make sure he did it properly, but keenly aware that she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. Ethan moved with a fluid male grace that was pleasing to watch.
With the sale sign perfectly placed, Ethan stepped down from the display window and handed her the tape and scissors. “Anything else?”
“Thank you.” She tried to hold his gaze a moment to show her appreciation, but he looked away. “There are three boxes on the top shelf in the back corner of the stockroom. They probably have the word Keep written on the side. If you’ll bring those out, I’ll add them to the sales table.”
He nodded. “Nice to meet you, Ms. Gordon.” He walked off.
Debi sighed. “Yummy.”
“Hush. He might hear you.”
“Like he doesn’t know he’s dreamy?”
Nicki doubted it. He struck her as the type who would be embarrassed if someone called him “dreamy.”
Debi nudged her arm. “I want to know all about him.”
So did she. For a moment, she considered telling her friend about Ethan’s odd reaction to Sadie, but decided against it for now.
“You know, Nicki...” Debi nodded thoughtfully. “If you wanted to really increase business, all you’d have to do is have him stand in the front window. I’ll bet your sales would go through the roof.”
Nicki shook her head. “Oh, come on.” She noticed Ethan returning