An idea formed. Justin would bet that Sarah would be at the shelter tomorrow when the doors opened. She’d been staying there for a while, according to Bill. Yes, his plan just might work.
“Look, Bill, I’m desperate. I need a baby-sitter. I don’t know how to get a hold of Sarah. Could you contact her for me tomorrow when the shelter opens for breakfast? Tell her I called looking for her and need her help.”
Bill whistled on the other end. “She’s gonna go crazy when she finds out you know about her living in a shelter.”
“I understand. Maybe you can smooth that over, convince her I’m not handing out charity. My baby-sitter quit tonight and I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I need someone—immediately! If it’ll help, tell her I’m desperate. You know her better than I do. Do what you have to and convince her to take the job. Call me first thing in the morning after you talk to her.”
“Sure thing. And, Justin?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s about time you faced this thing between you and Sarah.” With those words Bill hung up.
Justin slowly replaced the receiver, trying not to read more into Bill’s words than he’d intended. But the truth was, it was hard not to. Because, like a lightning bolt from the sky, he suddenly wondered if maybe that had not been part of the problem all along. Had he married Amy partly out of guilt? Oh, he’d been attracted to her, but what he’d done to her family’s business had been part of the equation, too. Unfortunately, she’d married him only out of obligation to her family. He’d cared for Amy. At least on his part he had been willing to stay married forever. They had enjoyed a good comfortable relationship, and in his own way, he’d loved her.
But Bill’s words unsettled him more than they should have. Was it not possible that he’d known, on some deeper level, that Amy hadn’t loved him and he’d felt threatened by Sarah’s anger and dislike?
The possibility was too awful to consider. He didn’t want to think that he’d been so insecure back then that he had actually helped cause the wedge in his marriage.
With that thought, he slipped into bed and pulled the covers up to his waist. He would give Sarah a job, prove to her he held no grudges against her and prove to himself that there was really nothing between them at all. Then he’d have his peace again. He could close that part of his life and go forward to face whatever the future held, with no regrets or shadows from the past dogging his heels.
The doorbell rang, but Justin didn’t rush forward the way he wanted to. He didn’t throw open the door and greet his sister-in-law with a blast of anger. Instead, he took two repetitive breaths, letting each one out slowly, readying himself for the battle he was sure to face. When he was certain he had control of his emotions, he calmly walked forward and pulled open the door.
She still wore the same jeans from yesterday. She’d changed her shirt, though, he noted. Instead of a white pullover, she wore a pink one.
“Well, are you done gawking at the charity case?”
He raised an eyebrow in silent query, but that only seemed to antagonize her.
“Don’t you dare pull that patronizing look on me. It won’t work. I’ve seen it before.”
“I’m not trying to be patronizing, Sarah. I just wondered why you were in such a sour mood already this morning. It’s not even ten a.m.”
She dropped her arms from where she’d crossed them and let them hang at her sides. However, she looked anything but relaxed; she looked ready to pounce on him and take him apart limb by limb.
“You know exactly what’s the matter. How could you get Bill involved in this?” she demanded. “He’s a friend I trusted, until he hunted me down this morning and told me you had called him last night.”
“Is that what’s bothering you?”
“No, it’s not,” she fumed. “What’s bothering me is he told you about…well…”
She trailed off and Justin understood it was her lack of a job and an apartment she referred to.
“You offered me work out of pity, and when I told Bill exactly what I thought of that, he told me you refused to take no for an answer and would come to the shelter yourself if I didn’t show up here.”
So, it had taken the threat of his tracking her down at the homeless shelter to convince her to come to his house this morning. Justin wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Insulted? No. A little angry? Maybe. Frustrated? Definitely. But he understood how debasing it must feel for someone she considered her enemy to be offering her a job. However, they were no longer enemies, and the sooner she accepted that, the better.
“Come in.” He stepped back. “Mickie is next door playing. She’ll be home in a little while.”
“Sent her off so she wouldn’t see the fireworks?” Sarah replied nastily.
“Yes.”
That one word seemed to deflate Sarah. She let out a long sigh, raked a hand through her hair, then finally walked in. Justin didn’t wait for her but continued to the kitchen, where he had juice and coffee waiting. He poured her both before hooking a kitchen stool with his foot and pulling it out. Slipping onto it, he indicated the one across from him.
He watched Sarah glance around and wondered what she saw. Little had changed since Amy. The kitchen was still a cozy little place for family meetings.
That’s one reason Amy had liked it so much. Modem, with tiles, yellow paint and pale corn-silk flowers on the pastel printed wallpaper, it gave off a feeling of homeyness. A small table for four sat near a picture window that afforded a view of a large backyard and the forest beyond that. The appliances were new, with a small snack bar separating the breakfast area from the actual cooking area.
Did Sarah wonder if he and Amy had eaten their dinner in here or out in the more formal dining room? If they’d had intimate chats in the evening, staring out the window as the sun slowly sank beneath the trees? She was in for a surprise if she thought that.
One of the things Justin truly regretted was there had been none of that. He’d always been too busy to sit down and spend any time with his wife. The melancholy of that inconsideration tried to grab hold of him, but he shook it off. Better to get down to business with Sarah before she decided to get defensive again.
“I need help.”
“I’ve never doubted that.”
He smiled at her quick comeback. “My sitter quit. I can’t find anyone on such short notice and I have to go to the office today. I’m very picky about whom I leave Mickie with. As you might guess, losing a parent is very hard on a child so small. Even though it’s been two years now, Mickie is still not over her mother’s death. She needs stability, someone who can be here for her when I’m not.”
Justin fiddled with his coffee cup, staring into the depths of it before raising his gaze back to her.
“I know being a housekeeper-sitter is way beneath your training, but I have a proposition. I want you to work here—live here, too, as a matter of fact. That way, if any emergencies come up and I have to go out of town, someone will be here. The pay is good, but not as good as you would make as a legal assistant. However, while working here, you would be tree to send out your résumés and seek a better paying position more in keeping with your experience. All I ask is that any interviews be set up at a time when I’m free to be here with Mickie, and that when you do