But that kind of scene didn’t bother him too much. What really got to him, what shook him to the core, was the sight of an infant nursing at its mother’s breast or a toddler bouncing on daddy’s knee.
He loved his nieces and nephews—even the babies. He really did. It’s just that whenever he was around them, he was reminded of his loss and his pain all over again.
“It would be my treat,” Jillian said, those azure eyes luring him to forget what he’d set out to do in Houston today—and soundly winning the battle.
“Either I pay for dinner or we split it,” he said. “I’m old-fashioned about things like that.”
“All right. We’ll split it, then.” She blessed him with an appreciative smile. “I’ve never liked eating alone.”
Riding solo—at meals or through life—had become a habit for Shane, but right now, he was looking forward to spending a little more time with Jillian, even if he knew that’s as far as things would go.
“Where do you want to have dinner?” he asked.
“I have a room at a hotel down the street. Why don’t we eat there?”
In her room?
Or at the hotel?
“They have a couple of nice restaurants to choose from,” she added.
Okay, so she hadn’t issued a dinner-with-benefits invitation.
“Eating at the hotel sounds good to me.”
Besides, if the stars aligned just right, the hotel would certainly be…convenient.
And for some reason, Shane was feeling incredibly lucky tonight.
Nearly four weeks later, Jillian stood in the small bathroom of her apartment and stared at the results of the home pregnancy test she’d purchased earlier that day.
Her tummy clenched as she watched a light blue plus sign grow darker and brighter, providing the news she couldn’t quite grasp.
Pregnant?
How could that be? Surely there was a mistake.
She blinked twice, hoping that her vision would clear, that the blue would fade to white, that the obvious result in front of her wasn’t real. But the truth was impossible to ignore. She conceived a baby the one and only time she’d slept with a stranger.
“This can’t possibly be happening,” she said aloud, as if she could actually argue with reality. “We used protection that night.”
But her words merely bounced off the pale green bathroom walls.
Was an unexpected pregnancy fate’s way of punishing her for an indiscretion she’d never have again?
If so, it didn’t seem fair. After all, it wasn’t as if she’d set out to find someone to help her make it through the first night of her post-divorce life. She’d been too caught up in the legal and emotional aspects of the paperwork she’d just signed, the small settlement she’d received and the pain of Thomas’s betrayal to even give a new relationship a second thought.
She blew out a ragged sigh, still unable to tear her eyes away from the test results that taunted her.
The irony of it all amazed her. Thanks to Shane’s quiet departure from her room that night, they’d completely avoided the typical “Now what?” questions that usually cropped up after two consenting adults had sex for the first time. But here she was, facing an ever bigger “Now what?” on her own.
Having a baby was going to change her plans to get a teaching credential and land a job right afterward. How did she expect to support herself and a child while attending school? And day care for an infant was very expensive.
“A baby?” she whispered. As much as she’d always wanted to be a mother, she couldn’t help thinking that the timing was off—way off.
She placed the palm of her hand on her flat stomach and tried to imagine the enormous changes facing her now.
Another woman might have considered all of her options, especially adoption, but Jillian felt she would just have to figure out a way to make it all work out.
Somehow, some way, she would come to grips with her pregnancy and motherhood. She’d have to.
She moved her hand upward, from her womb to her heart, where the beat quickened as reality began to sink in.
Should she call someone? She certainly could use a confidant right now.
In the past, whenever she’d had a crisis, she’d go to her grandmother for advice. Gram had always been there for her. When Jillian had learned that Thomas had been cheating, Gram had been the one she’d turned to, the one who’d offered her full support.
“I know this hurts now,” Gram had said, “but you’re going to come out on top of all this. You’re a survivor. You’ll meet someone else someday, someone who truly deserves you.”
At the time, while the idea of meeting a white knight in shining armor had put a glimmer of hope back in her heart, Jillian had feared that her marriage to Thomas might have left her skeptical of even the most loyal and honest of men.
Maybe that’s why she’d invited Shane back to her hotel room that night—in the hope that her white knight wore a Stetson.
Look where that move had gotten her.
Jillian still couldn’t seem to wrap her mind around the fact that her whole world was about to take a dramatic turn toward the complete unknown. Yet a tiny, comforting smile made its way to her lips. Finally, after years of hoping and praying that she’d conceive a child with Thomas, she was going to have a baby on her own.
Gram would be over the moon to learn that there was going to be a little one to cuddle and love, but she was also very old-fashioned. Hearing that Jillian had slept with her baby’s father on their one and only date, especially when Jillian knew very little—well, practically nothing—about the man, wouldn’t sit well with her. For that reason alone, Jillian didn’t have the courage to call Gram and request advice on her latest “little problem.”
The details of her baby’s conception probably ought to bother Jillian, too, and while she felt a bit embarrassed by having a one-night stand, she wasn’t going to beat herself up over what she’d done.
She’d realized at the time that she might eventually regret her decision to invite Shane back to her hotel room. Yet even the next morning, when she’d awakened in bed and found him gone, her only regret had been that she would never experience love in his arms again.
Even now, standing in the middle of her bathroom, awed by everything that little blue plus sign represented, she couldn’t help thinking back on the morning after their night together, when she should have felt regret—and hadn’t.
The scant light of dawn had just begun to peek through a gap in the curtains, when she’d stretched awake in the king-size bed, the memory of an incredible night slowly unfolding.
Shane’s hands sliding along her curves, hers exploring his well-defined biceps, his muscular chest…
Bodies responding, arching, reaching a breath-stealing peak…a powerful climax, the likes of which she’d never known.
A slow smile had stolen across her lips as she’d reached for the naked cowboy lying beside her…only to feel the cool sheets across an empty mattress.
For a moment, in her sleep-fogged mind, she’d wondered if the amazing sex