She sat on the sand, as miserable as she’d ever been when she’d believed herself to be hopelessly in love with Leo. And this time it was because she had a sudden, sneaking fear that she wasn’t, and perhaps never had been.
What did that say about her? Could she really have been so childish, so deluded, so wrong to convince herself she loved a man she barely knew? And to have kept believing it for so long?
Resting her chin on her knees, Alyse thought back to that first fateful night when Leo had come to her birthday party. Her mother had been almost as excited as she was, telling her that she’d been friends with Sophia in school, and how Leo was such a handsome prince... She’d reminded her too, of course, of the way she’d fallen in love with Alyse’s father Henri at a party just like that one, across a crowded room...
Just like she’d convinced herself she had with Leo.
Had she wanted her parents’ fairy tale for herself? Was that why she’d convinced herself of her love for Leo, because in her loneliness and uncertainty she’d longed for something more, had half-believed she could have it with Leo?
Everyone else had seemed to think she could, and in her innocence and immaturity she’d allowed a girlish attraction to become something so much bigger and deeper in her own mind and heart. And had continued to believe it, because as time went on and the media frenzy had grown, not to believe it took more strength and courage than she’d ever possessed.
Alyse let out a soft groan and pressed her forehead against her drawn-up knees. She didn’t want to believe she’d been so deluded, didn’t want to let go of her love so easily, so awfully.
And yet the derision on Leo’s face had cut her to the bone, to the soul. You don’t even know me.
No, she didn’t, although she was starting to know him now. And, despite her parents’ love-at-first-sight story, she wasn’t sure she could believe it for her and Leo.
But that didn’t mean she couldn’t love him now. Learn to love him, the real him, the man she still wanted to believe hid underneath that mask, that armour of cold purpose and ruthless efficiency. He was there; she’d seen glimpses over the years and even more in the last few days. Glimpses that had stole through her soul and touched her heart.
He was there...and farther away from her than ever.
Sighing, her body cold and aching now, Alyse rose from the sand and headed back to the hut. She didn’t know what tomorrow, or any of her tomorrows, would now hold. How Leo would feel or act. How they could get back just a little bit of the camaraderie they’d shared.
And as for love?
Her mouth curved in a humourless smile. She didn’t dare even think about that now.
* * *
She must have slept, although she didn’t remember doing so as she’d lain next to Leo’s hard body. But when she next opened her eyes sunlight was flooding the little hut and Leo was gone.
Alyse rose and dressed quickly, tossing the lavender silk dress Leo had stripped from her body into one of her cases with a wince. If only the night had ended differently and she’d woken up in Leo’s arms...
‘Good morning.’
She glanced up, her heart rate skittering as he came into the tent. He was showered and dressed and he looked coldly impassive, no expression at all lightening the navy of his eyes or softening those impossibly stern features. Even so all Alyse had to do was look at him to remember the way his lips had felt on hers, hard and soft at the same time, and how his hands had felt on her body...tormenting her with such exquisite pleasure.
She swallowed hard and looked away. ‘Good morning.’
‘Sleep well?’ he queried, his voice holding a slight, mocking edge, and Alyse shook her head.
‘No.’
‘Pity. Breakfast is in the pavilion again. I’ve already eaten.’
‘You have?’ He’d turned away from her and she stared at his broad back, the stiff set of his shoulders. ‘People will talk, you know,’ she said, even though she hated using that excuse. She didn’t care what people said. She cared only what Leo thought. What he felt...or didn’t feel.
‘I told them you were having a lie-in after a busy night, and made all the waitresses blush.’
‘You didn’t.’
‘No, I didn’t.’ He turned around then, his eyes snapping with suppressed anger. ‘I’ve developed a distaste for lying, even to the staff. But they assumed it anyway, so don’t worry, our cover isn’t blown.’
‘Leo, I want to talk to you—’
‘And I want to talk to you,’ he cut her off coolly. ‘But you might as well eat first.’ And, reaching for the newspaper he’d brought from the pavilion, he settled in a chair and snapped it open, managing to ignore Alyse completely.
Without another word she left the hut.
* * *
Leo stared unseeingly at the newspaper in front of him, amazed at the amount of rage that poured through him in a scalding river. Why on earth was he so angry? He couldn’t remember feeling this much emotion before, and it infuriated him—and frightened him. He was honest enough to admit that at least to himself.
No matter what he’d just told her, he wasn’t about to admit it to Alyse.
And, when she returned from breakfast, he’d tell her exactly what he had in mind: a return to Maldinia and to their earlier arrangement, an arrangement that had satisfied him exactly. Their marriage would be a matter of business and convenience, nothing more. He’d been a fool to allow her to entertain ideas of friendship or affection. Both were pointless and had only raised ridiculous hopes in Alyse.
And in himself.
That annoyed and angered him most of all—that he’d actually enjoyed their time together, their banter, and of course their kisses... Just remembering how close he’d been to being inside her made Leo shift uncomfortably in his chair, a persistent ache in his groin.
He still wanted her, and he’d have her, perhaps even tonight. There was no longer any need to wait. He wasn’t going to concern himself with her feelings, her fears. They’d return to the firm footing he had thought they’d been on when they’d both said those wretched vows.
To have and to hold, from this day forward...
Yes, from this day forward he would know exactly what to expect. And so would Alyse.
She returned to their sleeping quarters half an hour later and Leo glanced up as she approached, forcing himself not to notice the tender, bruised-looking skin under her eyes or the way her lush, pink mouth turned down at the corners. She wore a silky tee-shirt in pale green and a swishy skirt that blew around her long, slim legs. He yanked his gaze upwards, found it settling on the rounded curve of her breasts and determinedly moved it up to her face.
‘Leo, I wanted to—’
‘Let me tell you what I want to say,’ he cut her off, his voice clipped. He had no wish to hear her stammered, desperate apologies or excuses. Neither mattered. ‘This whole idea of friendship was a mistake,’ he stated flatly. Alyse stilled, her face carefully blank so he couldn’t tell at all what she was thinking or feeling.
Not that he cared.
‘It was against my better judgement in the first place,’ he continued. ‘It just complicates matters. It was much simpler and easier before.’
‘When we pretended all the time?’ Alyse filled in.
‘We’ll