But wait.
Taking her in the staffroom? That was not his plan. She was worth more than that, deserved more. What kind of madness indeed. But he wasn’t thinking straight. It had been a long, hard day and she was just so irresistible. Such a bundle of contrasts, and so damned hot. And he did not know what any of it meant, what this need that drove him was about, that he dreamt about her. But he knew it was intense. That it was something he should be afraid of, yet at the same time he was intrigued and, mio Dio, he just couldn’t keep away.
A vibrating whirr and a tinny sound had her jumping off him, swiping a hand across her mouth and straightening her top. She reached into her pocket, pulled out a phone and frowned. ‘Oh. Er … strange? I should probably get this.’
‘Sure.’ It would give him time to calm down a little and get things into perspective. Actually, to man up and put a stop to this fooling around in a public place. Said the guy with his ass hanging out over the internet. The more he thought about that, the more he realised what a stupid prank it had been. But he wasn’t about to admit that to Ivy.
She turned away from him, her shoulders rising up to her ears as she talked. ‘Oh. Okay. I see. When? Where?’
A silence stretched as she listened. The longer she stood there the more her body tensed, her hand slowly moving up to her mouth. And, as if in harmony with her, Matteo’s heart clutched too. Clearly there was a problem and it went deeper than a work issue.
‘Of course,’ she said finally, her voice weak and wobbly. ‘I’ll be there as soon as I can. Please, tell her to … I don’t know … Tell her to hold on.’
As she slung the phone back into her pocket she turned to him, her face pale now, all traces of their passion erased. ‘I have to go back to York. My mum’s sick. She’s had a heart attack … they think, they’re running tests as we speak. Er … she’s asking for me.’
‘Of course. You must go.’ But there was something about her hesitation that gave him pause too. After all, it hadn’t sounded like she had the best relationship with her mother. And he knew how being angry and disillusioned with family could affect someone. ‘You think that’s the right thing to do?’
She raised her head enough to hold his gaze, and in her darkened, hooded eyes he saw fear and sadness and determination. Her voice was calm. ‘Just because she’s a lousy mother, it doesn’t mean I have to be a lousy daughter. If she needs me, I’ll be there for her.’
‘Of course, and you shall go. Do you need help organising things?’
‘Oh. Well, I guess I need to either hire a car or get the train. Driving’s crap on a Friday, but it means I’ll be able to go see her straight away, and also pop home for things she might need. But I think the train might be quicker … but … I don’t know …’ She took a step forward, then back. Almost as if she didn’t know how or where to start. For the first time since he’d met her she seemed totally out of her depth. Blindsided.
And he needed to step up.
Didn’t want to—because that would make things infinitesimally more complicated. But it wasn’t about him. Or this. It was about her and healing things with her mamma. ‘I’ll take you.’
‘What? No. No. No, don’t be silly. It’s fine. I can drive. I just need …’ she fished her phone out again ‘… to call a decent car hire place … or something.’
Wrapping his arms around her, he took the phone from her hands, gave her a hug that she clearly didn’t know what to do with but accepted anyway. And he was probably doing this all wrong and sending the wrong message, but he couldn’t stand here and watch her sink. She was too proud for that. ‘You are upset. Look, you’re shaking. You shouldn’t drive. Let me take you?’
She shook her head vehemently. ‘No, it’s too much to ask anyone. This is my problem, not yours. Besides, it’s a hell of a long way, a good four hours’ drive on a Friday night—more, probably, the traffic’s usually a nightmare. You can’t do it there and back in one go, not after a long day. And don’t you have plans for tomorrow? A rugby game you sold your soul to the devil for or something?’
He hugged her to him, as he would have any friend who was suffering, trying through his actions to say what he wasn’t yet ready to say in words. Hell, he didn’t know what he was trying to say.
‘It’s rugby. We will win. It will be over in eighty minutes. This is more important.’ You are more important, was what he actually thought. The shock of that shuddered through him. He didn’t know her. He didn’t like her, goddamn. Okay. So he could probably admit to liking her when she wasn’t being a prim lawyer chasing his ass. Literally.
She spun out of his arms, looking embarrassed and flustered and about as far from a prim lawyer as anyone could get. ‘And what about Joey and your other patients? They need you here.’
‘I told you, the on-call team is fabulous—the best in the city. In fact, Dave Marshall taught me everything I know about renal surgery. So they’re all in the best hands. It is fine. Really. I’m not due at work until Monday as it is, and I’m only a phone call away.’ And he should have heeded the warning bells again then, but he didn’t. Should have remembered the last time he’d allowed a woman to invade his life and his heart—and then plundered it and smashed it into tiny pieces and thrown it into the trash. The betrayal. The double whammy of hurt.
But this was different. Ivy needed help and he could give it to her. What kind of a man did otherwise?
IT WAS LATE and dark when they arrived at the hospital, after a long journey where Ivy had felt herself withdraw into her worries. But Matteo had kept a constant stream of trivial conversation to dredge an occasional smile and for that she was grateful.
Now she knew he liked rugby more than football. That he preferred bottled beer to wine. That he’d had his wisdom teeth removed when he was twenty. Nothing deeper than that. But it had been enough. More than enough to keep her from going out of her mind with concern.
He pulled up outside the entrance, a hand on her knee as he spoke. ‘I’ll find a parking spot. You go in, I’ll find you.’
‘She’ll be in the cardiac ward, I imagine. Or High Dependency or something … I’ll ask at Reception. Perhaps I should text you?’ She went for her phone in her bag. Did she have his number?
He put his hand on hers and gave her a smile that went bone deep. ‘Ivy, I know my way around a hospital. I’ll find you. Go.’
‘Of course. Yes. Yes.’ What was wrong with her? One stolen kiss and she’d been reduced to fluff. Her brain wasn’t functioning. Maybe it was the worry about her mum …
After she watched him pull away she went to find her mother, feeling empty and bewildered, her own heart bruised and broken enough too. There was so much between them that needed to be said, that she wanted to fix but wanted to avoid at all costs.
The hospital corridors were silent as she walked to the reception desk, a grey-haired lady pointing her in the direction of Cardiac Care. Darkness outside the windows penetrated her heart. She’d been talking about her mum and then something bad had happened. What did that mean?
She didn’t want to rail at her, to blame her for the crappy upbringing she’d had—it was too late for that. All Ivy had ever wanted was recognition that she was important in her mother’s life. But, in the end, she supposed, it didn’t matter a jot. Ivy’s mother was important to her and if love only went one way, then so be it. It was too late for recriminations.
One of the nurses greeted her and showed her to her mother’s bed with a stern warning to be quick and quiet.
‘Ivy.’