‘How long has this been going on?’
‘About fifteen minutes.’
‘And you didn’t think to tell me sooner! Hell! If Brenda hadn’t texted me …’ Anton hissed, taking the tracing and looking at it in horror, because time was of the essence. With pretty much one look at the tracing the decision to operate was made. For Anton it was a done deal.
It was like some horrific replay of what had happened two years ago.
‘I paged you when it first happened,’ Louise said, but there wasn’t time for explanations now. As Anton went into the delivery room the overhead speakers crackled into life.
‘System error. Professor Hadfield, can you make your way straight to Emergency? Mr Rossi, Delivery Ward, room two.’
Anton briefly closed his eyes.
‘Mr Rossi, urgently make your way to Delivery, room two. System error—pagers are down.’
And so it repeated.
‘Is that for me?’ Felicity cried, terrified by the urgency of the calls overhead.
‘Hey …’ Louise gave Felicity a cuddle as Anton examined her. ‘It’s just that the pagers are down and so I had to use my whip a bit on Switchboard to get Anton here.’
‘Felicity.’ Anton came up to the head-end of the bed. ‘Your baby is struggling …’ Everything had been done. She was on her side, oxygen was on and she was still on the bed so they could simply speed her to Theatre. ‘We’re going to take you to Theatre now and do a Caesarean section.’
‘Can I be awake at least?’
‘We really do need to get your baby out now.’
‘I’ll be there with you,’ Louise said, as the porter arrived. ‘I am not leaving your side, I promise you. I can take some pictures of your baby if you like,’ Louise offered, and Felicity gave her her phone.
‘Can you let Theatre know?’ Anton said, before he raced ahead to scrub.
It took everything she could muster to keep the bitterness from her voice. ‘I already have, Anton.’
Louise and the porter whisked the bed down the corridor. There was no consent form to be signed—that had been taken care of at the antenatal stage.
‘I’m so scared,’ Felicity said, as they wheeled her into Theatre.
‘I know,’ Louise said, cleaning down her shoes and popping on shoe covers, then she put on a theatre hat and gown. ‘You’ve got the best obstetrician,’ Louise said. ‘I’ve seen him do many Caesareans and he’s brilliant.’
‘I know.’
The bed was wheeled through and Louise’s old colleagues were waiting. Connor and Miriam helped Louise to get Felicity onto the theatre table and she smiled when she saw Rory arrive. He was a bit breathless and as he caught his breath Louise spoke on. ‘You’ve got an amazing anaesthetist too. Hi, Rory, this is Felicity.’
Rory was lovely with Felicity and went through any allergies and previous anaesthetics and things. ‘I’m going to be by your side every minute,’ he said to Felicity. ‘Till you’re awake again, here is where I’ll be.’
‘I’ll be here too,’ Louise said.
Theatre was filling. The paediatric team was arriving as Rory slipped the first drug into Felicity’s IV.
‘Think baby thoughts,’ Louise said with a smile as Felicity went under.
Louise was completely supernumerary at this point. She was simply here on love watch for one of her mums. And so, once Felicity had been intubated, Louise simply closed her mind to everything, even bastard Anton. She just sat on a stool and thought lovely baby thoughts.
She heard the swirl of suction and a few curses from Anton as he tried to get one very flat baby out as quickly as possible.
Then there was silence and she looked up as a rather floppy baby was whisked away and she kept thinking baby thoughts as they rubbed it very vigorously and flicked at its little feet. She glanced at Rory as another anaesthetist started to bag him.
But then Rory smiled and Louise looked round and watched as the baby shuddered and she watched as his little legs started to kick and his hands started to fight. His cries of protest were muffled by the oxygen mask but were the most beautiful sounds in the world.
Louise didn’t look at Anton, she just told Felicity that her baby was beautiful, wonderful, that he was crying and could she hear him, even though Felicity was still under anaesthetic.
Anton did look at Louise.
She did that, Anton thought.
She made all his patients relax and laugh, and though Felicity could not know what was being said, still Louise said it.
He could have honestly kicked himself for his reaction but, God, it had been almost a replica of what had happened back in Italy.
‘He’s beautiful,’ Louise said over and over.
So too was Louise, Anton thought, knowing he’d just blown any chance for them.
Louise was beautiful, even when she was raging.
Not an hour later she marched into the male changing room and slammed the door shut.
‘Hey, Louise,’ called Rory, who was just getting changed. ‘You’re in the wrong room.’
‘Oh, I’m in the right room,’ Louise said. ‘Could you excuse us, Rory, please?’
‘We will do this in my office,’ Anton said. Wet from the shower, a towel around his loins, he did not want to do this now, but Louise had no intention of waiting till he got dressed. She was far, far beyond furious.
‘Oh, no, this won’t keep.’
‘Good luck,’ Rory called to Anton as he left them to it.
And then it was just Louise and Anton but even as he went to apologise for what had happened earlier, or to even explain, Louise got in first.
‘You can question my morals, you can think what you like about me, but don’t you ever, ever—’
‘Question your morals?’ Anton checked. ‘Where the hell did that come from?’
‘Don’t interrupt me,’ Louise raged. ‘I’ve had it with you. What you accused me of today—’
‘Louise.’
‘No!’ She would not hear it.
‘I apologise. I did not realise the pagers were down.’
‘I did,’ Louise said instantly. ‘When you didn’t come, or make contact, it was the first thing I thought—not that you were negligent and simply couldn’t be bothered to get here …’
Her lips were white she was so angry. ‘I’m going to speak to Brenda and put in an incident report about the pagers today, and while I’m there I’m going to tell her I don’t want to work with you any more.’
‘That’s a bit extreme.’
‘It’s isn’t extreme. I’ve thought about doing it before.’ She saw him blink in surprise. ‘Everything I do you check again—’
‘Louise …’ Anton wasn’t about to deny it. He checked on her more than the other midwives, he was aware of that. In trying to protect her, to protect them, from what had happened to him and Dahnya, he had gone over the top. ‘If I can explain—’
But Louise was beyond hearing him. She lost her temper then and Louise hadn’t lost her temper since