Darned conscience.
She didn’t do casual flings. That was one of the few standards she’d held true to, both in and out of the spotlight. L.A. was filled with relationships built on nothing more than mutual attraction and soul-crushing loneliness. Sara hadn’t given her body or her heart in a moment of weakness in the past. She wasn’t going to let her hormones take over now. She knew how badly that could play out in the morning, and she wouldn’t risk her pride, no matter how good it felt.
The silent snap of her bra opening brought her fully to her right mind.
“Stop.” She wasn’t sure if she’d said the word out loud until Josh’s hands stilled on her waist.
He buried his face in the side of her neck. “Is this what you call a dramatic pause?” he asked, his voice ragged.
“We shouldn’t do this.”
“I hope you mean we should take it inside your cabin instead.”
Sara gave him a small push and he immediately moved back. “I mean, the two of us is a bad idea for a lot of reasons.”
“If I’d known you’d actually muster an argument, I’m not sure I would have asked the question.”
“What do you want out of this summer, Josh?”
He tilted his head, massaged his thumb and index finger above his eyes. “Money,” he answered simply.
“Is that all?”
“Give me a break on the twenty questions, Sara. My brain isn’t firing on all cylinders right now.” He sighed. “I want a future for Claire and me. I want this ranch to feel like home for her.”
She nodded and tried not to admit that the truth in his words stung. She was used to not being a priority to anyone, even herself. But it still hurt to hear it out loud. “It’s about Claire for you. For me it’s about a second chance of a different kind.”
In a way, things had been easier in California. The day-to-day struggle to make ends meet had left her little time to ponder the sad state of the rest of her life. Now that she had that time, it was up to her to protect herself. No one else was going to.
She liked to believe that her grandma would have fought for Sara if her mother hadn’t made sure they never returned to Crimson. Maybe her grandmother would have been the positive role model Sara had so desperately needed.
She wanted to think that was why Gran had left her the house. An olive branch of sorts. Sara had no intention of letting it go to waste.
“I want the money and the fresh start it will give me. I’m going to get it one way or another. Even if that means...”
The lingering heat in his eyes went instantly frosty. “Even if that means crushing my future to guarantee your own.”
“I want both of us to get what we want. I really do. But at the end of the summer, that might not be possible. I’m going to sell this house. I hope it’s to you. I’m working to make sure that happens. But getting involved is a complication I’m not willing to risk.”
“And that’s what this is? A complication?”
“I don’t know. I think so.”
“What about Claire?”
“I’d never hurt Claire. You know that.”
“She feels close to you. It will break her heart if you throw us over.”
“That’s not fair, Josh. Whatever happens, I’ve been honest about my intentions. I’m not going to mess with you and Claire.”
“Why does it feel like you already are?”
His anger felt like a slap in the face.
“You don’t understand.”
“Explain it to me, then.” Frustration radiated off him, hitting her like rolling waves.
She opened her mouth but couldn’t think of how to tell him how scared she was. How frightened her feelings for him and his daughter made her.
As she’d done so often in her life, she took the coward’s way out. “It’s late. We’re both tired. You should go.”
“That’s what you want?”
No, no, no. “Yes.” She stepped aside to let him pass.
He moved past her, but at the last moment, swept her into his arms and claimed her mouth in a kiss she felt all the way to her toes. When he finally released her, she stumbled back against the door of the cabin, her knees as wobbly as a newborn foal.
He didn’t look any more in control than she did, but his voice was steady as he told her, “You think too much, Hollywood,” before turning and disappearing back into the darkness.
Josh finished wiping down the last ATV and leaned back against the machine’s front tire. Massaging his fingers against his leg, he thought about how happy everyone had looked coming back from last night’s sunset ride.
The weather had been perfect for the past three days and his friends had taken full advantage, spending as much time as possible hiking, biking and fishing on the mountain. Yesterday afternoon, they’d ridden the four-wheelers up to the old mining town on the other side of the peak. He’d even convinced Claire to come along.
Things were exactly the way he’d pictured them for the summer. Except for watching Noah and Manny continue to flirt with Sara while Bryson made cow eyes at his daughter. That wasn’t part of the plan.
Neither was the way his knee throbbed after several days of constant action.
The door to the equipment barn squeaked. “Josh, are you in here?”
Josh straightened as Dave shuffled into the barn. “I’m just cleaning things up a bit.”
“That ride was killer today. The views from the top are definitely worth the price of admission.”
“Yep.” Josh rubbed the towel across the seat of one ATV. “Brandy seemed happy.”
Dave snorted. “She’s happy anytime I let her drive. That woman has the heaviest lead foot in history.”
“I’m glad it’s working out with the two of you.”
“Me, too.” His friend studied him. “Sara’s pretty great.”
“It’s business, Dave. Nothing more.”
“You don’t look at her like it’s business.”
Josh flipped the towel onto the workbench and turned. “She’s going to sell the house at the end of the summer and head back to L.A. If I can’t get the bank to finance me, there’s a decent chance all my work will have been for nothing.”
“Really?” Dave whistled under his breath. “She seems happy here. Not a Hollywood type. Have you thought about asking her to stay?”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because you’re crazy about her.”
“That’ll pass.”
“How long have I known you, Josh? More than ten years, right? We started the circuit the same season. I remember how bad things got with Jen, how hard you tried to make it work.”
“Not hard enough.”
“Sara isn’t your ex-wife.”
“Thanks for the insight. But I’m making a life for Claire. One that