She gave herself up to the thrill of being alive and in his arms. Kissing Cameron was like listening to vibrant, wonderful music. Better yet, it was like making vibrant, wonderful music. Music that could fill the soul and send it soaring free, and Tess wanted to soar and fly and swoop and twirl with Cameron and never stop.
She slipped her hand between the buttons of his shirt, needing to touch firm bare skin. His hand slid beneath her shirt, his caress an omen of bliss. And then they both stilled, so unaccountably in tune with each other that they knew.
They knew this had become more than a kiss. It was about to become something a whole lot more interesting…if that was what they chose.
If.
Tess stared up into eyes so vivid with promise that all she had to do was reach out. She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and tasted him there. Her body clamoured for more, but…
She shivered. Ty and Krissie.
She gave a tiny shake of her head.
She felt the sigh he heaved back, but he nodded his acknowledgement. He went to lift her off his lap, but she held up a hand to forestall him. She dragged in a breath, counted to three…four, and then removed herself under her own steam until she was sitting beside him again.
‘I really shouldn’t have done that,’ she murmured.
He surveyed her with watchful eyes, but didn’t say anything. She bit her lip and then shrugged. ‘But while I shouldn’t have kissed you, I can’t find it in myself to be sorry for it.’ She frowned, suddenly realising how selfish that sounded. ‘I mean, I’m sorry if I made you—’
‘Me neither, Tess,’ he cut in.
He leaned back, a grin lighting those ecstasy-inducing lips of his and hunger raged through her.
‘I don’t see why you shouldn’t have done it. I don’t have a problem if you want to do it again.’ He raised his hands. ‘Just saying.’
She laughed and shook her head. ‘I shouldn’t have done it because I liked it too much.’
‘And there’s a problem with that?’
It was the same as when she played the piano or the guitar—the world receded and the music took over. And until three months ago, she’d let it. Willingly. Gladly. She’d welcomed it. Only now, she knew how selfish that had been. How unfair it had been to those around her.
No more.
She’d let her selfish obsession keep her from Sarah, when her sister had needed her. She couldn’t afford to let Ty and Krissie down in the same way.
‘There are just too many strikes against us, Cameron.’
‘Like?’
‘Like the fact I truly believe Ty and Krissie need stability for a while. I don’t think it’s fair to ask them to adjust to a new man in their lives just yet. Not after everything they’ve been through. I don’t think that’s unreasonable, even if you do. We’re just searching for…’
‘An even keel.’
She nodded. ‘I really don’t want to mess this up.’
‘Strike One,’ he murmured.
She glanced down at her hands and then back at him. ‘There are other issues too. You have a grudge in your heart that’s bigger than forty hectares of golden canola. Until you come to terms with that, there’ll never be room in your heart for another woman.’
He drew back. ‘I have good reason for that grudge.’
‘Yes, you do.’
‘But?’
Couldn’t he see how much his bitterness, how much holding on to his grudge was hurting him? ‘It’s just from where I’m standing—sitting—that’s Strike Two.’
He didn’t say anything.
She couldn’t let it go. ‘What Lance and Fiona did to you, Cameron, sucks. But…’ She gripped her hands together. ‘But has it never occurred to you that maybe they never meant for it to happen, that they never meant to hurt you? That maybe they just fell in love with each other? Maybe he’s just as appalled by what’s happened as you are.’
Cam dragged a hand back through his hair, making it stand on end. She ached to reach out and smooth it back down.
‘Look, Tess, all his life Lance has been jealous of me. Jealous that I had a father with a bigger station than his father’s. Jealous that I had two homes I divided my time between. Jealous that I did well at sport and at school. You name it—if it was mine, he wanted it.’
He scowled out at the yard. ‘If he spent half as much time working towards whatever it was he wanted instead of resenting me for having it, or stealing it from me, then he might have achieved something worthwhile. I thought he’d grow out of it. Hoped he would. For heaven’s sake, he’s twenty-six years old! I never thought he would go to such lengths, but…’
His hands clenched. ‘But it appears he still wants what I have, so, no, I haven’t considered the fact that he never meant to hurt me. I know that’s precisely what he was hoping to achieve.’
Bile burned the back of Tess’s throat at the expression in his eyes.
‘He stole all that I most cherished in this world, and he laughed while he did it. Forgiveness, even if he asked for it…’
He broke off, his face growing grimmer. ‘This time he went too far. He involved an innocent third party in his nasty little games.’
All that I most cherished. She swallowed, suddenly nauseous. ‘Fiona?’ The name croaked out of her.
He gave one hard nod.
She swallowed again. ‘Forgive me for saying this, but the fact she, um…canoodled with your brother while engaged to you doesn’t exactly cast her in the role of an innocent.’
Did he still love that tall, slim woman with the golden ponytail? The thought left a bad taste in her mouth. If her stomach hadn’t been churning so badly she’d have grabbed another piece of cake to override it.
‘Lance has always had more charm than was good for him. He knows how to woo a woman and make her believe he’s in love with her.’
She leant towards him, though she was careful not to touch him. ‘But maybe he really loves Fiona.’
He turned to her then and raised a dark eyebrow. ‘When he’s finished with her, he’ll dump her.’ His lips compressed into a hard, grim line. ‘He’ll break her heart. All just to get back at me.’
That didn’t ring true. Oh, she didn’t doubt for a moment that Cam believed it, but…‘They looked very together at the luncheon…as in a definite couple. Cameron, it’s been ten months. Your mother obviously thinks they mean to marry.’
He didn’t say anything for a long moment. ‘Even if what you say is true, does that excuse the fact that they betrayed me?’
‘Of course it doesn’t! But maybe it’d prove that they never meant to hurt you, and that has to count for something.’
‘If it were true, perhaps it would.’
She ached for him then, for the pain she sensed bubbling beneath the surface, his utter sense of betrayal. Forgiveness would bring him peace, if only he would consider it. Ten months. Surely that was long enough. But some wounds, she knew, never healed.
She smoothed