“Having a family is something I’ve wanted my whole life,” she admitted, softly.
He dragged her into his arms, and she was so exhausted from learning she was pregnant, she closed her eyes and let him. His thumb stroked her arm, causing goose bumps to jump along her bare flesh.
“I never thought I’d have one of my own, and now I can’t stop thinking about it,” he whispered.
Fighting to ignore the sensual stirring inside her, Kate closed her eyes, her connection with him too great to ignore. She suddenly wanted to cry, right here in his arms, at his confession. Because she was sure he was imagining having a family with someone else, with a woman he might marry for convenience. Not with Kate. Still, she loved him so much she couldn’t hate him for wanting the same thing that she did.
“You deserve to be happy, Garrett. You’ve tried to take care of all of us for so long. Even Julian and Molly.”
He rubbed her back and she rubbed his. “They hate me for making them keep their hands to themselves until now.” His whisper stirred the top of her hair.
His scent made her light-headed but instead of drawing away, she drew closer and inhaled, happy that he had an arm around her. “You’ve always tried to do the right thing.”
His lips twitched against her scalp, and he edged back and glanced down at her, searching her expression. “You’ve always trusted me, Katie. To do the right thing. But you don’t trust I’ll make the right choice with Cassandra?”
Her stomach twisted uncomfortably, and when she attempted to pry free, Garrett kept her pinned to him. Even his eyes held her trapped. “Relax. Let’s not fight, all right? Let me just hold you like this.”
His body emanated heat, and her every cell perfectly recalled the night she had belonged to him. Kate’s throat closed so tight she couldn’t talk, especially when she settled down against him once more. He ran a hand tenderly down the back of her head, and she relaxed her muscles despite herself.
“Katie, let me make it better for you,” he whispered against the top of her head.
Kate closed her eyes. She knew he felt compelled to watch over her, but Garrett had been tied to his promise and had looked at her as a duty his whole life.
Kate would rue the day she ever trapped him any further.
But now she was carrying his baby.
“If you leave—” he tipped her chin back to look at her “—who’s to tell me it isn’t your way of making me come get you?”
She edged back, wide-eyed, then scowled. “I would never do that! I don’t want you to...do anything. Plus, it would be hard for you to follow me with a new wife attached to your arm.”
“A wife I will not have if I choose not to,” he said. “Why don’t you tell me why you’re so interested in her if you’re not interested in staying here?”
She glared, and suddenly it was just too painful to look at him.
She shook her head, and turned to walk away but he wasn’t letting her go just yet.
“Where are you going, Katie?” he taunted. “Do I frighten you? Is it me you’re running away from?”
She was struggling, but he caught her and looked fiercely into her eyes. His breath fanned her face, slow and steady, warm and unexpectedly sweet.
“Garrett...” she whispered, dying with want as she clutched his shoulders.
He squeezed her. “Kate, I’ve known you all my life. I’ve been there for you all my life—I have to be there for the rest of it. You have to let me. We need to talk about what happened. We can’t just pretend that it didn’t when I’m consumed with knowing that it did.”
Her eyes were fastened to his mouth, and all she could think of was that his mouth was there for her. His lips were there to sear her again, brand her again. Kate trembled with the need to wrap herself around his shoulders and neck and never let go. She wanted to crush his mouth with hers and do all the things she hadn’t done with anyone else because she’d been waiting for the boy she secretly loved to look at her.
Now he was looking at her. His gaze hungry, missing no detail of her features. Almost seeing into her soul, discovering her secret, aching love for him.
“Tell me why you’re leaving. Is it because of me?” He couldn’t seem to help himself as he lifted his finger to trace her lips. Her breath caught, and his face darkened as he watched.
Kiss him. Tell him it’s him and that he’s going to be a father! But while all these impulses rampaged through her, she drew back an inch and considered it a good moment to retreat before she truly lost her senses. She’d lost them once. Now she was pregnant. She didn’t want to castigate him for that night, a night she had been wishing and praying would someday happen. She didn’t want him to pay with his whole life. She simply loved him too much.
Kate shook her head and glanced away. “No, it’s not you.”
Spinning away before she could lose her head, she hugged herself and stared into the house, where there was light and music and smiles everywhere.
“You could be carrying my—” Garrett cleared his throat behind her “—you could be pregnant, Kate.”
The air felt static as she turned back to him in alarm. “Excuse me?”
The intensity in his eyes terrified her. “We didn’t use protection, Freckles.”
She shook her head. Fast. Almost too fast.
“You’d tell me if there were consequences, right?” he asked meaningfully.
Her world tilted on its axis. What if she went ahead and told him that she was having his child? Her stomach cramped at the thought.
She was loath to worry Molly a day before her wedding. Kate was the eldest and had cared for her like a mother, had always set a good example. How could she bear detracting from her sister’s joy right now?
She had to wait until after the wedding.
She bit her lip, glancing away. “Whatever happens, I meant what I said. I’m not marrying ever without love.”
“Why? Do you love another man?”
Swallowing, Kate met his stormy black gaze. “No, Garrett. It would have been hard for me to love anyone, when my whole life I’ve been in love with you.”
He blinked at her words.
God.
She couldn’t believe she’d said them.
But she had.
She had to come clean.
She glanced away, blushing. “That’s why I slept with you that night, Garrett. And that’s why I’m leaving. I want to be loved back.”
He stared at her as though flabbergasted, motionless and unmoving.
“We need to go. Dinner is about to be served,” she murmured and went inside.
He didn’t follow her for minutes, and from inside, she saw him leaning on the balustrade with his face in his hands, breathing hard.
Her insides knotted with pain for him. Maybe she shouldn’t have confessed it. But Beth was right. Kate was a coward, afraid he’d hurt her. She’d had to at least let him know that all the time they’d spent together had meant everything to Kate, even when she knew he had not ever been emotionally available to love her like she wanted him to.
Garrett was a fair man. He was a man who recognized his own flaws, maybe even to the extreme extent that he saw flaws where none existed. She knew he felt...unworthy. That he believed a man had died because of him. But he was also generous and giving, and he wouldn’t be able to stand