She expected everyone to satisfy her slightest wish. His wife and her family had done too much of that in the past. Before Tina’s passing, Tessa had already felt entitled. He smoothed the blond hair off her forehead. Rick didn’t want his daughter growing up with a princess complex.
But there was more bothering him. How could he explain to a five-year-old how he’d felt when he saw the clerk looking at him through the shop window with those brilliant blue eyes? She was the kind of woman the guys at the station would call a real stunner—blonde and curvaceous with classic features. Most likely she was married with children. Her response to Tessa had seemed very natural. It meant his thoughts should stop right there. The absence of a wedding ring didn’t always prove anything.
Rick had felt dead inside for so long, he was shocked to discover he could have an emotional response to the looks of a beautiful woman again. The psychiatrist provided by the department had talked to him at length about dealing with his grief. He’d told Rick that one day he’d start to feel alive again, but there was no set time when it would happen.
Rick certainly hadn’t expected the first signs of it to happen this morning. Part of the anger he’d felt masked guilt, because it seemed as if he was being disloyal to Tina even to notice another woman so soon after her death. The psychiatrist had warned him about that, too. He’d said it was perfectly natural to feel guilt, and he might feel it for a long time. If it went on too long, however, then he wanted to see him back in his office.
After the clerk had waited on him, his anger had grown worse because she’d been so incredibly nice and tuned in to Tessa’s feelings. He didn’t want her doing either of them any favors. For one thing, Tessa was his daughter.
The woman obviously thought he didn’t have enough money to pay for the gingerbread man, so she’d lowered the price. He had to admit it had injured his pride. But after having a whole day to think about it, he recognized what he’d really been feeling.
The last thing he wanted was to feel beholden to her or any woman. Sharon, the housekeeper, was different in her caretaker role.
Face it, Jenner. You resent being attracted to her.
That was the truth of it. He supposed the fact that she was the first person since Tina’s death to take his mind off his wife for a few minutes made him feel vulnerable. But for her to play Santa hadn’t sat well with him. So many emotions had bombarded him, he hadn’t been able to get out of the shop fast enough.
No one could take Tina’s place as Tessa’s mother. He couldn’t trust another woman with that job. Rick didn’t want another woman in his life. He didn’t want to have those kinds of feelings ever again. It had hurt so much to lose Tina. He couldn’t live through pain like that a second time. Once was enough for him and Tessa. He’d do whatever he could to protect both of them from more suffering.
Frustrated as hell because he would have to go by her business tomorrow, he leaned over to kiss his daughter’s forehead before leaving to go to his own room. Maybe he’d get one of the crew to do it. Either way, it would be a short visit and that would be the end of it.
Before he went to bed he made a detour to the living room and set up the elf band beneath the Christmas tree they’d bought and decorated last night. When Tessa got up in the morning, she’d run in here to find out what the noise was and be delighted.
Now, if he could just get the woman out of his head so he could go to sleep... But that was a joke, because she’d been flitting through his mind—all the amazing parts of her, starting with her smile and the way her blue eyes shimmered.
* * *
At ten the next morning Arney pulled the fire truck in front of the scarred top half of the art gallery. An inspection team from the arson squad was walking around.
When Rick saw Benton, he climbed down from the truck in his gear and walked over to his sandy-haired friend. He and his wife, Deanna, an attractive brunette, had two children, one of whom was Tessa’s friend Julie at kindergarten. They’d all become close during Tina’s illness.
Benton patted him on the shoulder. “Thanks to your tip, we know this is the work of the same arsonist who started that department-store blaze three weeks ago. Underneath that pile of canvases, he’d filled a plastic milk carton with gasoline and made a wick with a piece of shirt. It was a slow burner, but did enough damage to ignite the whole thing.”
“He probably used the fire escape here to knock out that third-story window we climbed into. I thought it had been blown out by the fire.”
“Let’s hope he’s caught soon. In the meantime I’ve spoken to the police chief. They’re going to keep this downtown area under heavy surveillance 24/7 until after the holidays.”
“That’s good.” If Benton hadn’t mentioned it, Rick would have.
“How’s it going?”
Rick didn’t have to pretend around him. “Don’t ask.”
“That’s what I thought. Deanna and I are having a little party on Saturday night. We want you to come. Susie Anderson from Engine 3 will be coming along with some of the others. She specifically asked if you’d be there.” He put his hand up. “I know what you’re going to say about that, but at least promise me you’ll think about it.”
“Susie’s a good firefighter and nice in her own way, but she’s been a part of the landscape for too long a time. She’s just one of the guys to me, Benton. Everyone’s been trying to line me up, but I just can’t do it. I don’t feel the spark. Without that...”
“Then bring a friend, so Susie won’t get any ideas. If it’s your housekeeper’s night off, then bring Tessa. She and Julie can play.”
Rick was aware the guys were waiting for him. He turned to his crew, having made a certain decision. “Mel? You and Arney cover the florist and the Hansel and Gretel shop. Jose? Go talk to the cleaners across the street. I’ll take the print shop.”
Once the men took off, he eyed Benton and gave him a clap on the shoulder. “Thanks for the invite. I promise I’ll think about it.”
His friend winked. “Good.”
Before Rick walked across the street, his gaze wandered to the display window of the shop. Yesterday he’d looked into a pair of blue eyes in an angel face with a golden halo of hair. It had felt as if a thunderbolt had passed through him.
But neither the gingerbread man nor the little rocking chair was there now. That meant she’d pulled the items after he’d left the store. Hopefully they’d be in the back. Maybe another employee was on duty today. He’d asked Mel and Arney to find out. If so, Rick would go in and buy them.
With clipboard in hand, he walked across the street and interviewed the manager of the print shop. The smell of smoke still hung around, but he learned they hadn’t been affected by the fire. He returned to the truck where the guys were waiting.
None of the people interviewed could give any information regarding a possible arsonist. All had been gone from their stores when the fire broke out. The florist was still using one of the department fans.
Rick collected their reports and read Arney’s, absorbing the information on the Hansel and Gretel shop like a sponge.
Owner of the shop was Mrs. Valerie Bernard, fifty-three, who lived in College Hill, the most affluent neighborhood in Providence. Judging by the expensive items displayed, he wasn’t surprised. She was also the person Arney had talked to, because it was her signature on the bottom of the form.
The report stated there’d been no damage, but the smell of smoke still lingered. She didn’t think a fan was necessary. He called out to Arney. “Did you speak to any employees besides Mrs. Bernard?”
“No. She was the only one there.”
That made his mind up for him. “Give