She sagged back on the sofa as Abraham let out a little sigh, his warm breath against her neck. ‘I don’t ever want to forget my daughter, Daniel. I couldn’t, and I wouldn’t ever want to. I have things in the box, her first scan, her scan at twenty weeks. A few little things that I’d bought for her that she never got to wear.’ She stared off into the distance. ‘I had to buy something new. Something for very premature babies to put on her. And some photos. I have some photos. But—’
She broke off, unable to finish. The photographs were just too painful.
His hand was wrapped back around hers again. ‘So, how do you feel about helping me with Abraham? I know it’s hard for you, Carrie. But I really need your help.’ His words were said with caution, as if he didn’t want to cause her any more pain.
She took a few moments before she answered, trying to sort it all out in her brain. ‘It’s strange. It’s not quite what I’d expected. I’ve avoided babies for months. Any of my friends who were pregnant and delivered, I just made excuses not to see them and sent a present. I think they all understood. Most of them felt awkward around me anyway. I thought Abraham would be my worst nightmare.’
‘And?’
‘And—’ she looked down at the little face, snuggled against her shoulder ‘—I won’t pretend it’s not hard. I won’t pretend that I don’t sometimes just need a minute. Just need a little space. But it’s not as bad as I expected.’
The heat from Abraham’s little body was penetrating through her dressing gown, like an additional hot-water bottle. But it felt good. It felt natural. It didn’t make her want to run screaming from the room. Not in the way she would have expected.
‘Then can you do this, Carrie? Can you keep helping me for the next day or so?’ He pointed to the TV. ‘It doesn’t look like New York is opening back up for business any time soon.’ He touched her arm, and she could sense the frustration he was trying to hide from her. ‘I’ll understand, Carrie. I’ll understand if you say no and want to go back up to your apartment and stay there.’
She thought about it. There was no hiding the fact that for a few moments she actually considered it. But just at that point Abraham moved and snuggled even closer to her neck.
What was up there for her? An empty apartment with no one to talk to. There was only so much news she could watch on TV saying the same things over and over again.
There were only so many times she could rearrange her wardrobe and shoes. There were only so many times she could reread her favourite books.
She sucked in a deep breath. He was watching her. He was holding his breath, waiting for her response. ‘You understand now, but you didn’t understand a couple of nights ago.’ She could remember the stunned expression on his face when she’d bolted for the door.
He nodded in defeat. ‘You’re right. I thought you were distinctly weird. But I was crazy and desperate enough not to care.’ He pointed to his chest. ‘But I know, Carrie, I know in here if someone is a good person. And don’t think it’s anything about being a cop. I’ve been like this since I was a kid. I always knew who had a good heart—no matter what their appearance or surroundings. And I always knew who to steer clear of, no matter what they told me.’
There were shadows in his eyes. He was revealing a tiny part of himself here. Maybe without even knowing it. And that was the second time this had happened. First with the comment about things always staying inside you, and now about knowing people—who to stay away from. How had he learned that lesson? It was painful to even think about it.
She reached up and touched the side of his face with her free hand. Bristles. Dan hadn’t managed to shave yet and they felt good beneath her smooth skin. She even liked the sound.
‘And do you want to steer clear of me, Dan?’ He was staring at her with those dark brown eyes. Pulling her in. Thank goodness she was sitting or her legs would currently be like jelly.
There was comfort here. Because she knew what he was about to say. Didn’t doubt it for a second. This connection was the truest thing she’d felt in a long time.
He gave her that sexy smile. The one that made her stomach flip over. ‘Not for a second,’ he whispered, and leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers.
It was beautiful. The gentlest of kisses.
Just as well. She still had Abraham in her arms. Under any other circumstances she might feel the urge to throw her dressing gown to the wind and jump up onto his lap.
He was concentrating solely on her mouth. His hand still only brushing the side of her face as their kiss deepened and his tongue edged its way into her mouth.
She could feel the heat rush through her, warming her chilled legs and feet and spreading to a whole host of other places.
She could concentrate solely on this. She could concentrate solely on Dan. Once he started kissing her nothing else mattered. Her brain didn’t have room for a single thought.
But as if sensing where this could go, Dan pulled back.
And for a second she felt lost. Until she opened her eyes again and realised he was smiling at her.
‘What do you think, Carrie McKenzie? Will you be my partner in crime? Can Abraham and I count on you?’
She narrowed her eyes at him. Boy, he was good. With his fancy words and his kisses. His help-the-baby plea. This man could charm the birds out of the trees.
Just as well she was the only bird around.
She lifted her eyebrows. ‘Are you doing this for the chocolate cake?’
He smiled. ‘I’m definitely doing it for the chocolate cake.’
‘Well, that makes us even, ’cause I’m doing this for the carrot cake—and the pancakes.’ She liked this. She liked that they could fall back into flirting so easily, even after her monumental revelation.
‘Just what I like—a woman with her priorities in order.’ He pushed himself up from the sofa and held out his hands for Abraham.
‘Don’t you want me to take a turn for a while?’
‘Oh, no.’ He shook his head firmly as he gathered Abraham into his arms and took a long look at her bare legs and painted toenails. ‘What I want is for you to put some clothes on. You’re way too distracting without them.’
She stood up, deliberately letting her dressing gown open, just to annoy him. ‘Well, we wouldn’t want any distractions, would we?’ she teased as she headed to the door.
There was some colour in his cheeks. A guy like Dan couldn’t be embarrassed. Not when he looked like that. He must have women throwing themselves at him all the time—particularly when he was in uniform.
She saw him shifting uncomfortably, adjusting himself. No! She’d caused an age-old reaction with a few cheeky words and a flash of skin. Her cheeks started to blush, too.
And then she started to smile.
It was starting to feel as if she had some control back. As if everything in life wouldn’t just slip through her fingers like grains of sand on the beach.
She turned the handle on the door.
‘Carrie?’
She spun around.
Dan was standing with Abraham in his arms. Looking every inch the gorgeous family man. Looking every inch like the man she pictured in her dreams about the life she wanted to have.
‘Hurry back.’
She tried to think of something witty or clever to say. But she had nothing.
‘Absolutely,’ she muttered