It was important to remember that their Christmas truce was nothing more than a temporary cessation of hostilities—temporary being the operative word.
Ellie forced her mind to safer practical matters—like what they were going to do with the stuffed chicken and shortbread dough sitting in the fridge.
‘We’ll have them tonight,’ suggested Joe. ‘They’ll be perfect for Christmas Eve.’
So the chicken and assorted roast vegetables, followed by shortbread cookies for dessert, became indeed the perfect Christmas Eve fare.
A cool breeze arrived in the late afternoon, whisking away the muddy aroma, so Ellie set a small table on the veranda where they ate in the gathering dusk, sharing their meal with Jacko.
Joe stuck coloured glow sticks into the pot plants along the verandah, lending a touch of magic to the warm summer’s night.
Jacko was enchanted.
Ellie was enchanted too, as she sipped a glass of chilled New Zealand white wine, one of Joe’s selections.
She had spent the past four years working so hard on Karinya—getting up at dawn, spending long days out in the paddocks overseeing the needs of her cattle, and then, after Jacko was born, fitting in as much time as possible to be with him as well.
Most nights, she’d fallen into bed exhausted. She’d almost forgotten what it was like to take time out to party.
Putting Jacko to bed on Christmas Eve was fun, even though he didn’t really understand her explanation about the pillowslip at the end of his cot. He would soon work it out in the morning, and Ellie’s sense of bubbling anticipation was enough enthusiasm for both of them.
When she tiptoed out of Jacko’s room, she found Joe on the veranda, leaning on the railing again and looking out at the few brave stars that peeked between the lingering clouds.
He turned to her. ‘So when do you fill Jacko’s stocking?’
She smiled. ‘I’ve never played Santa before, so I’m not exactly an expert, but I guess I should wait till I’m sure he’s well and truly asleep. Maybe I’ll do the deed just before I go to bed.’
‘I’d like to make a contribution,’ Joe said, sounding just a shade uncertain. ‘I asked Steve to collect something for Jacko.’
‘OK. That’s nice. But you can put it under the tree and give it to him in the morning.’
‘I’d like to show it to you now. You might want to throw it in with the Father Christmas booty.’
‘Oh, there’s no need—’
But already Joe was beckoning Ellie to follow him inside, into the study, where he promptly shut the door behind them.
‘This makes a bit of a noise and I don’t want to wake him.’ He was trying to sound casual, but he couldn’t quite hide the excitement in his eyes.
Intrigued, Ellie watched as he pulled a box from beneath the desk and proceeded to open it.
‘Oh, wow!’ she breathed as Joe drew out the world’s cutest toy puppy. ‘A Border Collie. How gorgeous. It looks so real.’ She touched the soft, furry, black and white coat. ‘It almost feels real and it’s so cuddly. Jacko will love it!’
‘Watch this.’ Joe pressed a button in the puppy’s stomach and set it on the ground. Immediately, it sat up and barked, then dropped back to all fours and began to scamper across the floor.
‘Oh, my goodness.’ Ellie laughed. ‘It’s amazing.’
The puppy bumped into the desk, backed away and then proceeded to run around in circles.
‘I knew Jacko was too little for a real dog,’ Joe said. ‘But I thought this might be the next best thing.’
‘It is. It’s gorgeous. He’ll be over the moon.’ The presents I bought won’t be half as exciting.
Joe was clearly pleased with her reaction. ‘One of the guys in our unit bought a toy like this for his kid’s birthday, and his wife put a movie of the boy and the puppy on the Internet. It was so damn cute it more or less went viral at the base.’
‘I can imagine.’ Ellie was touched by how pleased Joe looked, as if it was really important to find the right gift for his son.
‘The other present I brought back with me was totally unsuitable,’ he said. ‘A kite. What was I thinking?’
‘A kite from Afghanistan?’
Joe rolled his eyes to the ceiling. ‘Yeah.’
‘But their kites are supposed to be beautiful, aren’t they?’
‘Well, yes, that’s true, and it’s a national pastime for the kids over there, but a kite’s not really suitable for a two-year-old. I just didn’t think. I’ll keep it for later.’
The puppy had wound down now and Joe scooped it up, unselfconsciously cradling it in his arms.
It wasn’t only little boys who looked cute with toy dogs, Ellie decided.
‘So you might like to put this in with the Santa stash,’ he said.
‘But then Jacko won’t know you bought it for him.’
‘That’s not important.’
Ellie frowned. ‘I think it is important, Joe. If you’re going to go away again for ages at a time, a lovely gift like this will help Jacko to remember you.’
Perhaps this was the wrong thing to say. Joe’s face turned granite-hard—hard cheekbones, hard eyes, hard jaw.
Silence stretched uncomfortably between them.
Ellie wished she knew what he was thinking. Was he regretting his decision to work so far away? Perhaps he felt differently about leaving Jacko now that he’d met the boy and so clearly liked him?
It was more than likely that Joe loved Jacko. For Ellie, just thinking about Joe heading off there to that freezing, lonely, big ocean made her arms ache strangely. They felt so empty and she felt sad for Joe, sad for Jacko too—for the tough, complicated father and his sweet, uncomplicated son.
Maybe she even felt sad for herself?
No. I’ve made my choices.
It seemed like an age before Joe spoke. ‘I’d rather my son remembered me, not the toys I’ve given him.’
Ellie swallowed. It was hard to know whether he was taking the high moral ground or simply being stubborn. But he was sticking to his decision.
She held out her hand. ‘In that case, I’d love to add this puppy to the Santa bag. Jacko will adore it. He’ll be stoked.’
‘You want to keep it in this box?’
‘No. It looks more true-to-life out of the box.’ Ellie hugged the puppy to her stomach. ‘Joe, you haven’t bought a Christmas present for me, have you?’
The hard look in his eyes lightened. ‘There might be a little something. Why? Does that bother you?’
‘Yes. I don’t have anything for you. I never dreamed—’
He smiled crookedly. ‘Chill, Ellie. It’s no big deal. I know you haven’t been anywhere near shops.’
Just the same, she was going to worry about this and it would probably keep her awake.
* * *
This is damn hard, Joe thought as Ellie left with the dog. Coming home was so hard. So much harder than he’d expected.