“But as for me,” she went on, “here’s the bottom line. I want it all, but I don’t want to do it grubbing in poverty. Max is my only hope for the good life. And I mean to take advantage of that hope any way I can.”
Cari had to admire her honesty, even if she didn’t think much of her ethics. Later, when C.J. and Randy had left, she told Max about what the woman had said.
“How well does that ranch do?” she asked him.
He shrugged. “The ranch is mortgaged to the hilt, from what I’ve been able to ascertain. They tell me she can’t come up with the monthly fees at this point.”
“Isn’t there some way you can just sort of squeeze her out?”
He grinned at her terminology. “It’s complicated. If this was an ordinary project, I wouldn’t hesitate. That’s how you make the big deals. But in this case, my mother wouldn’t stand for it. She wants everything aboveboard and by the rules. She has a certain compassion for C.J.”
Cari could understand that. For Max’s mother, C.J. was a part of the Texas she’d left behind and still seemed to yearn for.
“So you’ll have to marry her?”
He merely shrugged and looked deep into her eyes without saying anything. Finally he just walked away.
A half hour later, he asked if she’d like to come out to the ranch with him the next day.
“I want to go out to see it. Every time I ask C.J. to take me out, she finds a way to avoid it. I want to go out on my own and find out what she’s trying to hide.”
“Sure. We’ll go with you.” She didn’t go anywhere without Jamie anymore.
“Good. I’ve ordered a picnic basket from the kitchen. We’d better leave early, just in case C.J. and Randy get a yen to visit again.”
She laughed. She thought it was funny that Randy seemed to have attached himself to C.J. so thoroughly at the same time the woman thought she was romancing Max—sort of.
She left Max to watch a little television, and she went to bed, glad she had her own nightgown instead of the T-shirt. She was exhausted. Taking care of a baby was tiring work, even when you loved every minute of it. She quickly went to sleep and slept like a log until the wee hours.
Something woke her. She opened her eyes and for just a few seconds, wasn’t sure where she was. Turning toward the crib, she saw a shadowy figure standing there and she gasped.
“Relax.” It was Max. “It’s only me. Jamie was whimpering, so I came in to make sure he was okay.”
She reached out and turned on the bedside light and there he was, holding Jamie in his arms, the picture of the perfect dad. Joy filled her heart and tears sprang to her eyes.
“Oh, Max,” she said, blubbering a bit.
“What’s the matter?” He was astonished. “Did I frighten you that much? Cari, I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s not that.” Slipping out of bed, she pulled her robe on and went to him, kissing his cheek and then smiling at the baby. “I’m just so happy,” she said, choking on her words and smiling at him tearfully. “I just … it’s just that my husband …” She sniffed and shook her head. “Never mind.”
Max looked concerned. He started to put Jamie down in the crib but the baby was having none of it and started to whimper for real.
“Uh-oh,” she said, looking down at the baby lovingly. “It looks like it’s going to be one of those nights.”
“One of what nights?” Max said as he pulled him back up into his arms.
“We’re going to have to walk him.”
“What do you mean?”
She smiled at him. “You’ll see. I’ll take the first shift. You can watch and learn.” She shrugged. “Or go ahead and go back to bed,” she added, giving him an out. “Whatever.”
She changed his diapers and put on a fresh shirt and they tried putting him down to sleep again, but, just as she’d feared, he was totally awake and ready to play.
“No hope,” she said cheerfully. “He going to need some coaxing to get back to sleep.”
She pulled Jamie’s blanket around him and put him to her shoulder, then started out toward the living room. Max followed close behind, slumping onto the couch as she began to pace with the baby in her arms.
“They love this,” she told him. “The longer you walk, the happier they get.”
“But do they go to sleep?”
“Ah, that’s the question. That’s why we’re doing this. But sleep can be long in coming.” She held Jamie close and kissed the top of his head. “There were nights I spent hours walking Michelle. Luckily, I think Jamie is a better sleeper than she was. He ought to go out pretty quickly.”
He watched for a few minutes, then said quietly, “You’ve never told me much about your marriage, Cari. What was your husband like?”
“Brian?” She bit her lip. This wasn’t one of her favorite topics. “He was just a guy.”
“There’s something I’ve wondered about,” he went on. Rising, he met her on one of her passes and took her hand in his, spreading her fingers. “No rings. Why is that? As a widow, I would think you would want to have that sort of memento of your marriage.”
She stared at her own hand and nodded slowly.
“I used to have rings.”
“What happened to them?”
She looked up into his face. “I sold them.”
He narrowed his eyes, searching her face as though he wanted to understand. “You sold your rings?”
“Yes.”
Jamie began to stir, and she pulled her hand away from Max so that she could start pacing again.
“I had a beautiful wedding set with a very pretty diamond,” she went on as she walked. “But I sold them. They went to pay for me finishing college and starting on my real estate license.” She smiled at the irony of it all. “Brian never knew that he financed my new start in life.”
Max had a point about the rings. If she’d valued her marriage, she would have kept them, no matter how tight money got. But she couldn’t really grieve for Brian, not the way she knew she should. By the time he’d died, she’d known she was going to have to leave him one way or another.
He’d made life with him impossible and had pretty much killed the love she’d once had for him. When she thought about it now she couldn’t believe she’d stayed as long as she had. What had kept her with him once she’d known he was getting more and more irrational? The fear of admitting failure, she supposed.
“So you’re getting a real estate license?” he noted, interested that she would have chosen a field so close to his. “Why? Residential real estate is dead as the proverbial doornail in most areas right now.”
“I know. But real estate always comes back. And I want to be ready when that happens.”
He nodded, glad for the evidence that she was an optimist. He liked that about her.
She smiled at him. “In the meantime, I don’t mind working as a waitress. It’s honest work and I can make a decent living as long as I only have myself to take care of.”
Jamie chose that moment to begin happily making motorboat noises. They both laughed.
“It doesn’t sound like he’s falling asleep,” Max said.
“Not