“Too little, too late.” For just a moment she rested her head on his shoulder, absorbed his strength and his warmth. “She was so small, so quiet, how could anyone want to hurt her?”
His fingers laced through her hair as he hugged her to him, his touch tender where his body was all hard muscle. And his low voice whispered to her. “There’s no sense to be found in these cases. You help where you can and live with what you can’t change.”
She shook as memories bombarded her. “I’ve never known such hate. I can’t think about it or I lose myself in the rage.”
“No,” he agreed, “you can’t dwell on the bad.” He lifted her chin so she looked into his intense green gaze, so close she could see the scars on his soul, and she knew he knew. “You have to focus on the good you did. You can’t let the hate win or she won’t be the only victim.”
“That’s what the counselor said. And most of the time I can deal with it. Monitoring the public Web site gives me a sense of being proactive. Being responsible for young kids is huge, and I want to be able to protect them when they’re in my care. If I can recognize a predator before he harms a child, it’s worth the effort.”
“I think you’re brilliant. Now, what can we do to put a smile back on your face?” He eased away, but his hand warmed the small of her back, holding her steady. “Do you want to see how my handcuffs work?”
“No,” she mumbled, as she took the tissue he handed her. As she mopped her face and his heat retreated, she realized what an emotional mess she’d become. How mortifying. Trace must want to be anywhere but here right now. But as she peeked at him around the tissue he looked anything but terrorized.
“Nikki,” he said. Her name. Nothing more. But the softness of it, the intimacy of it, broke down the distance his persistent formality upheld between them.
Even as her mind shouted bad idea, Trace stepped close again, lowered his head, and claimed her mouth. On a catch of breath, she opened to him, and he deepened the kiss. A hard arm around her waist swept her closer to him, so they touched from shoulder to thighs, his strength and confidence an intoxicating combination as she melted in his arms.
Ignoring the warnings clamoring through her head, she surrendered to the passion, meeting his tongue with hers in a sliding dance of desire.
It felt so good to be held, to lean—just for a moment—on someone strong and giving.
She drew back at the thought, recognizing despite her passion-drenched senses the fallacy of her conception. She had no right to lean on Trace. This was a moment out of time for her. For him.
She had no doubts he’d be as appalled as she once they regained their equilibrium. Stepping back, she cleared her throat, seeking a less-dangerous distraction.
He’d been wonderful, actually. It had really helped to talk to someone who understood. But time to let him off the hook.
She lowered the tissue and batted her eyes at him. “I don’t think I’m ready for handcuffs, but you can let me shoot your gun.”
His gaze blazed a molten emerald heat. It took him a moment to move from hot and bothered to cool, calm lawman. Blinking, he cleared his eyes and propped his hands on his gun belt. He narrowed his eyes at her. “You want to shoot my gun?”
“Yes, please.”
He shifted his gaze from her to the sleeping baby then back. “Now you’re just pushing my buttons. This isn’t the time or place for target practice.”
“Okay, yeah, a little.” She cleared the thickness from her throat and tossed the tissue into a nearby trashcan. “But maybe we could go to the range sometime.”
“Guns aren’t toys, you know.” He looked so torn—all macho cop, but still wanting to distract her from her emotional meltdown. How sweet was that?
“Actually, I do know. My dad was a navy chief. He taught me to shoot. We used to go to the range together.”
“Really?” Clearly surprised, he swept his emerald gaze over her with a new level of interest that had her breath catching in the back of her throat.
“Well, then, it’s a date.”
“He asked you on a date?” Amanda’s fierce whisper shouted her amazement. “I knew having a hot boss was going to be trouble. What’d you say?”
“No need to get so agitated.” Nikki shushed her sister. “It wasn’t really a question. And no definite plans were made. Thank goodness. I told you the agency forbids romantic interaction between nannies and clients. I don’t want to lose this job when you have less than a month before you’re due.”
With a disgusted toss of her head, Amanda settled back in her metal folding chair. “No fair, teasing the pregnant lady.”
They were seated on the aisle at the back of Sampson Hall, waiting for the community meeting to start. Mickey still slept in his stroller. After her visit with Trace, and their shared moment together, Nikki had walked across the park, needing the quiet stroll to gather her composure.
The kiss and Trace’s mention of a date had thrown her heart into turmoil. These past weeks she’d tried so hard to keep her professionalism wrapped around her, to keep his strength and vulnerability from getting to her.
“Hey, you’re supposed to be talking sense to me, not seeking vicarious thrills.” Okay, Nikki would not be sharing news of the kiss with her sister. She needed Amanda to help bolster her resistance, not encourage her to pursue the enemy. Mickey had already stolen her heart; she couldn’t afford to give any of it away to Trace. That way led straight to heartache.
“My husband is gone again, after being away for five months, and I’m the size of an elephant.” Amanda patted her swollen belly with love and resignation. “I’ll take my thrills where I can find them.”
Nikki shot Amanda an aggravated frown. “Not at my expense. You’re not even supposed to be here.”
“I didn’t want to miss the meeting, and I’m just sitting. Come on, just give me a few details. I need something to keep my mind off the ticking clock. I can’t believe how much I want this over at the same time as I’m dreading labor and the birth.”
Nikki squeezed her sister’s hand. “You’re going to do fine.”
“I’d do better if Dan were here.”
Hearing the tears in Amanda’s voice, Nikki gave in. Amanda needed distracting, and Nikki needed to talk. It was also a reminder of how vulnerable Amanda was, how much she needed Nikki to stay close. Which meant no more stolen kisses with the boss.
“Okay, the truth is I asked him out.”
“What?” Amanda squealed, causing Mickey to flinch in his sleep. “What about the agency rules? I thought you were determined to keep your distance.”
Nikki rubbed Mickey’s belly until he settled. “I was. I am. It’s just keeping my objectivity is harder than I anticipated.”
“Duh. The man is gorgeous.”
“He’s also intelligent, brave, dedicated and caring, though he tries hard to hide the last one.”
A furrow marred Amanda’s brows as her concerned gaze met Nikki’s. “You’re falling for him. Oh, babe, you have to stop.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I know you and your soft heart. These two are getting to you. Why else would you ask Trace out?”
Nikki waved a dismissive hand. “It wasn’t like that. We were in the middle of a heavy moment. I just wanted to distract him.”
“By asking him on a date? Are you out of your mind?” Amanda shifted in the uncomfortable chair. “What was the heavy moment about?”
Nikki