She didn’t need a man…or a wedding.
So why on earth was she envying Suzy?
And realistically what chance did she have of finding the kind of man she wanted? A man who would let her keep the independence she craved, and love her for it? The memory of a pair of hard hands at her waist, a harsh whisper in her ear, stole over her. Certainly not a man like Connor North. Arrogant. Demanding. A man who didn’t even believe in love.
Drawing a shaky breath, Victoria forced herself to focus on Suzy, on the issue at hand rather than on the illusion of finding someone who would love her forever. “I just thought you might’ve belatedly remembered your vow never to marry again.”
“That was years ago.” Suzy waved a dismissive hand and turned to the mirror to study herself. “I’d just come from the lawyer’s office and a horrible fight about the divorce settlement with Thomas. Of course I was feeling a little sore about marriage.”
A little sore? Victoria almost laughed at the understatement but the tension in her friend’s shoulders warned against it. Suzy had studiously avoided weddings for a year after that first disastrous attempt at matrimony.
“I love Michael. I want…need…this time to work.” Suzy spun back, her dress whirling around in a froth of white, and slanted Victoria an imploring look. “You of all people must know that I want what Mum and Dad had.”
How had Suzy unerringly known to pick on the one thing that would silence Victoria?
Suzy’s parents had adored each other—and they’d been loving and incredibly kind. Whenever Victoria’s father had been overcome by a bout of wanderlust, her mother had retreated into a sobbing self-pity. It had been Suzy’s parents who had offered Victoria a bed for the night, cooked meals for her and ensured that she made it to school with her clothes clean and her homework done.
When they’d drowned in a boating accident, Suzy and Victoria had been at university and Victoria felt the double loss almost as acutely as her friend. She would never forget the sanctuary that Suzy’s home had become during her adolescent years. It had saved her, creating a debt she could never repay. Without Suzy and her parents, who knew how she would’ve turned out?
Victoria held her best friend’s gaze. “I hope you find the same happiness your parents had. I think it’s wonderful that you’ve found someone—I just don’t want you to be hurt again.”
Suzy threw her arms around Victoria. “Relax, Michael is nothing like Thomas.”
Clumsily hugging Suzy back, Victoria stared over her friend’s shoulder at their reflection in the mirror, Suzy so beautiful in her high-necked lacy wedding gown, the hem no longer dragging on the ground.
She wanted Suzy to stay happy forever. She’d hated how Thomas had made bright, bubbly Suzy so miserable. Just like her own father had killed all the joy in her mother…
How she’d resented her mother for allowing it. How she’d wished that her mother had stood up and told her father to leave, never to return—and to stop neglecting them both—rather than weeping pathetically and sinking into depression every time he vanished. If only her mother had been stronger, not so emotionally dependent on the handsome but feckless man she’d married.
Suzy’s arms dropped away. “Stop frowning, Tory. It’s my wedding day, remember?”
Victoria blinked. “How could I forget?” she said wryly, gesturing to their reflections in the mirror. “Your gorgeous dress…the flowers…the suite.”
“Connor arranged the suite—and our honeymoon to Hawaii. It’s his wedding present to us. Wasn’t that generous?”
Victoria had no intention of acknowledging any redeeming qualities in the man. “All this talk of secrets had me concerned. But if you’re truly happy then I have no cause to worry.”
There was an expression in Suzy’s eyes that Victoria had never seen before. A mixture of trepidation and yearning. The sinking feeling returned. “There is something! What is it, Suz? Are you in trouble?”
“Michael knows the reason my marriage to Thomas fell apart was because I couldn’t—” Suzy swallowed visibly “—have a baby.”
“Oh, Suzy.” Victoria took Suzy’s hands in hers. Despite the heating in the honeymoon suite, her friend’s fingers were cold.
“He knows that Thomas and I tried IVF and that it was unsuccessful. So we talked to a specialist. From my medical records, she thinks there’s still a chance I could get pregnant.”
“That’s wonderful!”
“But only if we can find an egg donor,” Suzy finished in a rush, pulling her hands free and, after a quick glance at Victoria, turning away to retrieve her bridal bouquet off the bed behind them.
“You want me to be your donor?” For a moment Victoria wondered what would be involved. Pain. Expense. All sorts of stuff she’d never had to contemplate before. Victoria took in Suzy’s tense figure, the way she hunched over her wedding bouquet as she waited for Victoria’s reply. What was some physical discomfort compared to Suzy’s pain? Suzy had already lost one husband because of her inability to conceive, and while Michael loved her, it would be understandable that she feared his love would diminish as time passed and other couples they knew started to conceive.
Suzy was more than a friend. She was the sister Victoria had never had. Her only family. The person she owed more than she could ever give back. “Of course I’ll do it. Consider it a gift. My wedding gift to you and Michael.” To help this marriage hold together. To bring Suzy the happiness she richly deserved.
Instantly she was enfolded in a fierce hug, and the fragrance from the posy of white roses and gardenias Suzy clutched wafted around them.
“Thank you!” Suzy’s eyes brimmed with tears as she pulled back. “That’s the best gift ever…even if it doesn’t work out and there’s no baby, I’ll never forget this.”
“Miracles have been known to happen. And no one deserves this miracle more than you, Suz.” Victoria felt her own throat clogging up. “Help, now you’re making me cry.”
Suzy gave her a radiant smile. “It’s okay to cry at weddings—so long as it’s the happy kind of crying. Now let’s get back downstairs—I intend to dance the night away.”
Connor wasn’t at the wedding table.
Michael thinks I need a woman. Victoria couldn’t get his mocking words out of her head. Maybe he’d decided to follow the groom’s advice and find a willing female. There would be no shortage of them among the guests.
Searching the dance floor, Victoria couldn’t pick out his dark hair and tall figure, which should have towered above everyone else. She drifted around the edge of the polished wooden floor and finally spotted him standing near the open glass doors that led out onto a wide veranda.
He turned his head as if he knew she was watching him and met her gaze. Without a word, he headed for the doors and Victoria followed automatically, drawn against all good sense.
“So do you want to dance out here in the starlight?” He stood in the shadows of the balcony, leaning against the railing, moonlight casting a strange silver-and-black glow over his face.
Her breath caught in her throat. The music spilled through the doors, a slow, sweet, seductive beat. It would take only two steps to bring her into his arms, to feel the heat of his body close to hers again. No. Madness! “The moon’s too bright tonight to speak of starlight.”
His white teeth glittered as he grinned. “You’re probably right—but then I’m sure you make a career of being right.”
He pushed away from the railing and moved toward her. “So do you concur with Michael, that the warmth of a woman’s body is what I need?” The words cut through the night.
Victoria swallowed, her mouth