Melanie frowned. “What do you mean?”
Jeez. Hadn’t she been paying attention? “You know I’m a free agent this summer, right? That means my contract is up with the Ice Cats.”
“Yes.” She shrugged. “But they’ll renew it.”
“Not necessarily.” His poor numbers had sparked rumors that the team wouldn’t offer him another deal, but would instead try to trade him for younger, fresher legs.
He knew his best years were behind him. If he could stay healthy, he might manage another seven or eight seasons. He’d been lucky enough to spend his entire professional career with one organization and had banked on one more contract, so he could finish his career there. Sure, trades were part of the game, but he’d never dreamed it would happen to him.
“We shouldn’t make any decisions about the future, Mel, until we know how it’ll all shake out.”
Melanie wasn’t about to be fobbed off. “So you go to a team that’s close by. There are two in New York. Or we could move somewhere nice, like L.A.”
“It doesn’t work that way. I don’t get to pick where I go. I could end up in Edmonton or Detroit or North Carolina.”
“Oh.” She wrinkled her nose. “Then we could do the long-distance thing, right?”
Damn it. He really didn’t want to discuss their relationship or his future tonight.
“Let’s table this until I know for sure where I’ll be.” Tru rubbed his temples, trying to ease the brewing headache. “There’ll be plenty of time to make decisions then.”
Melanie’s gaze narrowed. “You don’t want us to move in together, do you?”
Crap. Like that moment when he knew he’d been caught too far out of his zone and couldn’t beat a streaking winger back, Tru could see the disastrous play unfolding. “Look, I’m tired and sore. We can talk about this on Saturday.”
“I want to discuss it now.” Her lips pinched. “We agreed we wanted more commitment.”
“We agreed to think seriously about where we wanted our relationship to go.”
“I know where I want it to go.” Her voice rose in pitch. “I want to get married.”
His stomach twisted. “Marriage is a big decision,” he said carefully.
“That’s why we should live together first. I know you’re scared of commitment because things were tough after your dad left your mom.” Her smile had a brittle edge. “This way, you’ll see it works, before you have to wear the ring.”
Tru drained his glass. She was right. He wouldn’t get hitched unless he was sure the marriage would last. He didn’t want his kids to go through what he and his brothers had.
The problem was, he couldn’t convince himself to take even the first step with Melanie. That should tell him something, shouldn’t it?
He tried one last time to delay the inevitable. “Let me think about that and we’ll talk on Saturday.”
“You don’t love me, do you?” Her voice wobbled.
Double crap.
Tru wished he could say what she wanted to hear—the words he’d said only once before—but he couldn’t. Not yet. “I care about you. With time...” His voice trailed off, as she shook her head.
“I hoped I was wrong.” Her voice hardened. “You’re still in love with someone else.”
“What?” He blinked, surprised. “Who?”
Even as he asked the question, an image of Jenny flashed into his brain. Her shiny, straight blond hair falling past her shoulders to rest against the scooped neckline of her black top. Faded black jeans that clung lovingly to every inch of her knockout legs and black, spiked-heel boots with buckles and studs that could make grown men whimper. Fire shot through his veins.
He tamped down the unwanted desire and scrambled to cover his ass. “I’m not in love with anyone.”
“Come on, Tru. Don’t try to tell me there isn’t unfinished business between you and Jenny.” Her lip curled.
His short laugh was humorless. “What there was between us has been finished for over a decade.” How could it not be, after what he’d done? “We’ve both moved on.”
“Have you?” Her question rang with disbelief.
Jenny sure as hell had. He’d been reminded of that every damn time she’d left the arena with her player of choice. It had taken a while, but he’d moved on, too, even if he’d never learned to ignore her fully.
“There’s nothing left between me and Jenny.” His tone was flat, uncompromising.
“There’s too much emotion between you, for former high school sweethearts.”
If only she knew. He’d never told anyone—not his best friend Jake, nor his brothers—the truth about what had happened with Jenny. “We weren’t exactly sweethearts.” Not quite a lie. Their relationship had barely started before he’d blown it to hell. “We were buddies, played hockey together. We grew apart.”
Melanie shook her head. “I doubt it’s that simple.”
“It is.” It had to be. He changed the subject away from Jenny to one that wasn’t any more comfortable; it too was littered with guilt and betrayal. “I’ve told you before, I’m cautious because I don’t want to make a mistake. Divorce is painful all round.”
“If you believe that’s the only reason you don’t want commitment, then you’re lying to yourself as well as me.” She rose. “I want you to take me home.”
He knew he should try to rescue their relationship, but he couldn’t find the energy. Where was his “fight till you hear the buzzer” mentality? Gone. Like his chances of winning the Stanley Cup this year. He knew which he felt worse about.
“Okay.” He motioned for the waiter to bring the check.
As he paid, Tru wondered what he could have done to make the evening end differently.
His depressing conclusion was nothing. He didn’t question too closely whether he couldn’t think of a solution to the issues they—he—had or he didn’t want to.
The drive to Melanie’s place was tense and silent. There was nothing left to say. After a stilted goodbye, Tru headed to his apartment.
He closed the door and relief filled him. He should be upset. His relationship with Mel had lasted longer than any other. If there was a chance of him having a happily-ever-after with anyone, he’d have thought it would’ve been with her. Yet, now that it was over, he knew this was the right outcome.
Maybe he wasn’t meant to be married. He thought enviously of Jake and his wife, Maggie. Of the obstacles they’d overcome to be together. Of their happiness. Their marriage would last, for sure.
Tru wanted to believe there was someone special out there for him. Unfortunately, it looked as though the odds of finding that person were as slim as him being voted the league’s most valuable player this year.
He pulled an ice pack from the freezer and pressed it to his shoulder, then slumped onto the sofa and flicked on the TV to catch the Kings’ game.
He should forget about relationships and stick to hockey.
It was simpler. You win or you lose, you move on to the next game. On the ice your only commitment was to the logo on the front of your sweater.
Sure he wanted more than his career, but not unless what he felt for the woman was absolutely right. In hockey and in love, second-best didn’t