Settling Matthew in the center of her bed, then arranging the pillows around him in a protective circle, Megan smiled sadly. He was such a good, sweet baby. But he wasn’t her baby, and he never would be.
Chapter Two
“I told you I’d think about your offer, Bobby, and I’ve been doing just that. But I haven’t made a decision yet,” Jake Cahill stated firmly.
Sitting back in his chair, he propped one boot-shod foot on the edge of his desk. Beyond the window in the wall separating his small office from the rest of the Serenity police station all appeared to be quiet. It was a typical small-town Friday morning early in the month of June.
“We need you back on our team, and the sooner the better,” Bobby Fuentes insisted. “I’ve got a place for you now, but I can’t guarantee how much longer I’ll be able to hold it open. We’ve been working shorthanded for over two months now. I’m starting to get some flack from the higher-ups.”
“Find somebody else, then,” Jake replied, mildly reproving.
There had been a time when he wouldn’t have even dared to think about using such a tone with Bobby. As special agent in charge of the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s Dallas office, the older man had been Jake’s immediate, and demanding, supervisor for several years. He had also become a good friend and respected mentor.
Even now, more than a year after he’d left the FBI, Jake knew that Bobby only had his best interests at heart. But he refused to be bullied. He had too much at stake to make a hasty decision, especially one that would affect his future in such a conclusive way.
“Problem is, I want you,” Bobby continued, apparently choosing to ignore Jake’s suggestion. “Our arrest records and conviction rates haven’t been the same since you left the bureau. And don’t tell me you’re satisfied playing at being the chief of police in a place like Serenity, Texas. Talk about wasted talent.”
“I am the chief of police—no playing about it,” Jake shot back, bristling at the sarcasm he’d heard in his old friend’s voice.
He hadn’t resigned from the FBI and returned to Serenity on a whim. He had wanted desperately to win back the love and trust of his ex-wife, Megan, and he’d known of no other way to do it than by following her back to their hometown. Sure that it would only be a matter of time before she allowed him back into her life, Jake had asked his father, William Cahill—an honored member of the Texas legislature and one of Serenity’s most highly regarded citizens—to pull whatever strings were necessary to get him on the town’s police force.
Never one for half measures, especially where his only son was concerned, Senator Cahill had personally taken it upon himself to urge the aging chief of police to accept an early retirement package that included benefits no man in his right mind could refuse. Then he nominated Jake to take the chief’s place. The town fathers, aware that they were getting a darn good deal, had been delighted to smooth the way for the senator’s son. And over the past year Jake had taken great pride in seeing to it that they weren’t disappointed.
“Hey, no offense meant,” Bobby hastened to assure him.
“Difficult as it might be for a big-city guy like you to believe, I happen to like Serenity. I grew up here, you know. It’s a nice place to live and a great place to raise a family.”
“Speaking of which, are you and Megan on speaking terms yet? It’s been, what, two years since she left you? Maybe it’s time to cut bait, old buddy. You can’t spend the rest of your life waiting for something to happen when you have to know by now that the odds are against it. Some marriages can survive the kind of loss you and Megan suffered. Yours didn’t. You would do best to put it behind you, once and for all, and get on with your life.”
Bringing his foot down on the floor again, Jake shifted in his chair, sat up straighter and shoved a hand through his dark, shaggy hair. Bobby’s words hit painfully close to the mark, ripping at the battered edges of his heart as they laid forth a truth he would have rather not been forced to face.
Jake had made his fair share of mistakes over the years, but the ones he’d made with Megan seemed destined to haunt him for the rest of his life. He shouldn’t have put his job first three years ago, leaving her alone and unable to reach him when their young son began running a high fever. Nor should he have used his job as a means of escaping the grief and guilt that had threatened to overwhelm him after the meningitis that was diagnosed too late claimed Will’s life. And finally, fatally for their marriage, he shouldn’t have waited so long to follow Megan back to Serenity.
He had told himself that she simply needed time away from their home in Dallas and the memories of Will it held for her. That had been what he had thought he’d needed, after all. Only when she filed for divorce did he realize that she wasn’t coming back to him.
Fool that he’d been, he had told himself he didn’t really care. Eventually, of course, he’d come to his senses, but by then, Megan had made a new life for herself. A life that very likely might never include him.
“My relationship with Megan is none of your business, Bobby, so just back the hell off,” Jake warned, the memories he’d had of the past making him as angry with himself as he was with his old friend.
“Sorry if I was out of line, but I was just trying to point out what seems obvious to everyone except you. You dealt with Will’s death the only way you knew how and Megan dealt with it her way.”
“Because I gave her no other choice,” Jake retorted. “I wasn’t there for her when she really needed me. When Will first got sick I was too anxious to start working on yet another high-profile case to stick around and give her the support she needed. And after he died, it was easier for me to hide from her pain as well as my own by using any excuse I could to stay as far away from home as possible.
“I let her down, Bobby—no two ways about it. I was all she had and I let her down, and then I lost her. I lost the best thing in my life—the two best things—my wife and my son. I know I’ll never be able to get Will back. But I’m not ready to admit that Megan won’t ever be a part of my life again, either. As soon as I am, I’ll let you know.”
Without waiting for a last comment from his friend, Jake hung up the phone, then pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes in an effort to ease the subtle pressure that warned of a full-blown headache on the way.
As he had so many times already, he thought back over the months that had passed since he’d first returned to Serenity, and tried to figure out what he’d been doing wrong. He wanted his wife back. But he wasn’t any closer to his goal than he’d been a year ago.
Jake didn’t want to have to resort to force to get Megan to listen to what he had to say. But lately he had begun to think that hauling her off to some secluded place and holding her captive might not be such a bad idea, after all.
He had tried to consider her feelings—heaven help him, how he’d tried. For months now he’d been so busy tying himself up in knots worrying about making the wrong moves that he hadn’t made any moves at all. In fact, she had shut the door in his face the one and only time he’d attempted to confront her face-to-face.
Wincing as he remembered that particularly disheartening exchange, Jake sat back in his chair again.
He had gone to her house one Saturday morning nine months ago. She had opened the door without hesitation, and she’d met his gaze quite calmly. She’d offered him no greeting, though. Standing just inside the doorway, dressed in faded jeans and a plain white T-shirt, her dark curls a tantalizing tangle begging to be touched, she’d simply looked at him, her chin tipped up defensively, her wide, pale gray eyes filled with reproach.
Not a single one of the casual, clever opening lines Jake had rehearsed had come to his mind. He hadn’t been so close to her in such a long, lonely time—close enough to feel the heat radiating