No, no, no!
“Christ.”
Regret tasted metallic in his instantly dry mouth. Not another one, not another sailor lost to the aftereffects of the war. He never should have stopped asking her to go out with him.
How had he not seen the warning signs with her? He couldn’t bear the loss of another warrior-in-arms to the war. No matter if the cause was a bomb, rocket-propelled grenade, bullet or PTSD.
Not on his watch.
Instinct took over as he floored his gas pedal to get to her. He slammed on the brake, unclicked his seat belt and burst out of the truck’s cab in one practiced motion. He’d already checked his rearview mirror and knew he had a clear shot across Highway 20 to Ro.
* * *
WIND RIPPED AWAY any warmth from the early-morning sunlight as Lieutenant Commander Roanna Brandywine walked across Deception Pass Bridge. She’d run four miles and looked forward to the hot shower she’d get at the base gym. But first, she needed to complete a mission she’d planned for weeks. Poised nearly two hundred feet above the turbulent passage that connected the Strait of Juan de Fuca with Puget Sound, she fingered the engagement ring that lay in the palm of her gloved hand for the last time.
Her desolation loomed large and real as she paused at the bridge’s midspan. The grandeur of Deception Pass never failed to make Ro feel at once small and insignificant yet able to conquer the world.
The small diamond that cut into her palm had been her link to what she thought a real, normal family life meant. Proof that she had somewhere else to go outside of the navy. That the navy wasn’t the only thing she’d ever succeed at.
Her illusion of having a happy, fulfilling personal life was just that. An illusion she’d strung out over several years and half a dozen navy postings. Her relationship with Dick had been part of her fantasy life away from the military.
Face it—the only part of your life that’s been real since you graduated from the naval academy nine years ago is your career.
She blinked.
No more.
She was done with pouring her emotions into the out-of-reach life that was never going to happen for her. Not in the way she’d planned it, anyhow.
So much of her pain was represented by this one tiny diamond.
She’d failed Dick. She should never have expected any man, especially a man who didn’t understand her need to serve her country and see the world, to wait years for her. Would she have waited years for a man who’d gone off like she had?
Dick knew her family as well as she did, and he’d loved her despite all its crazy ways. He’d fit in to her family so damn well, in fact, that he’d gone off and married her sister at the first hint of Roanna taking orders to Whidbey Island instead of getting out of the navy. Once her aircraft carrier pulled back into Norfolk, Virginia, they’d broken up.
Dick’s timing had been unfortunate, since he’d told her he was breaking up with her at the same time he revealed he’d married someone else.
Her sister.
Their last conversation still replayed in her mind, over a year later.
They were at a chain restaurant in downtown Trenton, New Jersey. Dick’s idea of a welcome-back-from-deployment meal. She’d been able to overlook his lack of planning even then. It was okay—he waited while she went off and fought wars and she put up with his not-so-desirable qualities when she came home. It was how they did things, both accepting less than what they deserved.
But then he’d revealed that their engagement was off. And, in fact, that he’d married the love of his life.
“Face it, Ro. We’re more like brother and sister than a couple. Have been for years.” He’d shot her a remorseful grin.
“I don’t know of too many brothers and sisters who sleep together,” she’d retorted.
Her bluster had been automatic, the reaction she knew she was supposed to have. In truth she’d been shocked at how little she’d cared. As if he’d done them both a favor. Maybe it was time for her to look at herself and even let go of whatever image she’d set out to achieve for her life.
But that would have meant she didn’t know where she was going next. Roanna always had a plan B, a safety net, and it had always been Dick. Plan A had always been whatever her navy orders said they were. The orders to Whidbey Island sent her three thousand miles from Dick. Did she really think he’d follow her out there and start a new practice in a strange state?
Again, her career was the one thing she’d been able to count on.
At Dick’s silence, her cheeks had grown warm, and then she’d started to shiver.
“I’m sorry if it wasn’t good enough for you, Dick.” They both knew she was talking about their sex life. At its height it had been a release from months of separation, a simple youthful yearning that demanded fulfillment in their teens and had turned into an obligatory ritual.
“Ro, don’t do this.”
“Do what, Dick? Get upset that you got married before you dumped me? Or feel hurt that you’ve been less than happy with our sex life?”
She’d sighed. Dick’s face bore an expression she’d never seen on him before—resignation. Maybe it’s time to grow up and move on, she’d thought.
“I’m sorry, Dick. This isn’t what I’d expected, but you’re actually right. We’ve been kidding ourselves for a long time, haven’t we?”
“I think so.”
The waitress had come and taken their orders. Ro had picked her favorite fish and chips basket while Dick—previously the king of junk food—ordered a grilled chicken salad, dressing on the side.
“So who is she, Dick? I’m impressed that she’s gotten you to eat healthier. She must be your soul mate.” She’d felt genuine when she’d uttered that, too. Really, it had become clearer as their conversation went on that Dick had saved both of their lives by finding another woman.
Dick had stayed silent. She’d felt a flash of compassion for him then, and for his new wife. Poor dears must have tortured themselves over how she’d take the news.
“Oh, I almost forgot.” She twisted off the small engagement ring they’d bought at the navy base exchange on one of his trips to Virginia Beach to see her. It had been inexpensive and tax-free, perfect for the young couple they’d been at the time.
“Here.”
He waved her hand, and the ring, away.
“No, no, I can’t take that, Roanna. Sell it or give it away, but it’s yours to do with as you wish.”
She’d held her hand out awkwardly for a few more heartbeats before she’d slipped the ring into the small front pocket of her jeans.
“So, do I know your bride, Dick?”
The guilt on his face had been palpable. She’d reached out to him and put her hand on his forearm.
“Dick, it’s okay. Cross my heart. I know you must think I’m in shock or something―maybe I am―but deep down I know this is the best thing for both of us. And I really, really want you to be happy. So who is she?”
His gaze had stayed downcast on the plastic ketchup bottle. It had seemed an eternity before he looked back up at her.
“It’s Krissy, Ro.”
Finally the shock hit her, followed quickly by despair, betrayal and a sprinkle of good old-fashioned outrage.
“Krissy?” She’d tilted her head and tried to smile. Her lips had felt frozen. She only knew one woman named Krissy.
Dick had sighed and bitten