That was easy for Alison to say, Tess mused. Alison had two parents who had loved and cared for her and two sisters to support her along the way. All Tess had was an alcoholic father who’d drifted from job to job during her childhood and gambled away any chance they ever had at a stable home life.
Tess had become his caretaker at the age of seven, at the moment her mother had walked out nearly twenty years ago. How many times had they been homeless since that day? How many days had they scraped out a living doing menial labor on horse farms just to eat? She knew exactly what Jeffrey’s money would buy. Tess would finally have a home of her own, a place in the world that wasn’t dependant on keeping her job.
“I know what I’m doing,” Tess said.
“Then why am I here? Are you sure you didn’t want me to talk you out of this?”
“Moral support. I need at least one person in that room on my side. And I can say anything to you. You understand me.”
“You should be able to say anything to Jeffrey, too,” Alison said. “You shouldn’t have to pretend to be something you’re not, Tess.”
“I’m not pretending,” Tess countered. “I’m just moderating my bad habits.” She straightened. “He lives in a whole different world, with different rules. I just want to fit in.”
Up until the time she’d entered college, Tess and her father had been gypsies, outsiders who never stayed in one place more than a year. From upstate New York to Florida to California, back and forth across the country, Tess had made friends only to lose them.
She’d met Alison their freshman year in college at University of Kentucky in Lexington. They were both there on scholarship and spent long nights working at various campus jobs to make ends meet. Alison was Tess’s first and only true friend.
“Do you really think I’m settling?” Tess asked.
“I just want you to be happy. You deserve a guy who makes your heart race, one who can’t live without you. A guy who loves you exactly the way you are.” She paused. “How do you feel? Can you live without him?”
“Of course I can,” Tess said. She stopped short, realizing she’d spoken too quickly. It wasn’t the answer Ali wanted to hear. “You know what I mean. I’ve been providing for us since I could muck out a stall. I just meant that it’s possible—to live without him. To live without anybody.” She paused, her voice going soft. “I know what I want.” Tess took a long gulp of her drink then set the glass in front of her.
“You also deserve a man who doesn’t want to keep your relationship a secret,” Alison continued. “Who doesn’t have to explain his feelings for you to his parents—who doesn’t send you an engraved invitation to show up for his marriage proposal.”
“Stop!” Tess cried. “Have you found this paragon of manhood? I don’t know if he exists. I could wait my entire life and never find him.” She looked over at Alison to find a tiny smile twitching at the corners of her friend’s mouth. “What? You have?”
“I’m almost afraid to talk about it,” Alison said. “It’s so new. But it is so incredible. We just can’t seem to keep our hands off each other. He’s a doctor. And he works out of a little clinic in the mountains, a few hours from Johnson City. I’ve only known him about a month, but it’s like we’ve been together forever. He’s sweet and sexy and funny and he’s turned my life upside down. And I love him.”
“Then why aren’t you with him tonight?”
“Because you said you needed me here. And you’re my dearest friend.” Alison smiled coyly. “All right. He’s upstairs, naked, in bed, enjoying treats from the minibar and watching a hockey game until I get back. I’m planning to rejoin him as soon as my duties as best friend are completed.”
“Oh, no you don’t!” Tess cried. “You don’t need to stay with me. I’m just being silly. Go back to your naked man.”
“He’s just fine,” Alison said.
“Really. I can do this on my own,” Tess insisted. “And after Jeffrey proposes, I’ll bring him downstairs and introduce you. Then I can meet your doctor.”
“Or maybe we can get together for breakfast tomorrow?” Alison suggested. “Or brunch?”
“All right,” Tess agreed, anxious to send Alison on her way. “Brunch.”
“Are you ready?” Alison asked.
She shook her head. “No. I’m going finish my drink. Then I’ll be ready. You go ahead. I’ll talk to you later.”
“All right. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Alison gave her a hug, then picked up her purse. “Listen to your heart, sweetie, and you’ll be just fine.” As Alison headed back out to the lobby, Tess grabbed a bowl of pretzels and munched on one, thinking about the way the evening might unfold.
She’d met Jeffrey when he’d visited the farm with his parents right after Derby Week four and a half years ago. She’d been working as the assistant manager at Beresford and Tess had thought he was handsome and friendly. There hadn’t been an attraction, at least not on her part. But after he’d returned every weekend for a month with the excuse that he wanted to learn how to ride, they’d just fallen into a sexual relationship. Two years later, she was promoted from assistant manager to manager, due in part to Jeffrey’s recommendation.
Though they secretly slept together whenever he was at the farm, they’d maintained a cordial business relationship outside the bedroom. Jeffrey had helped her learn how the stable fit into the Beale holdings and she’d taught him nearly everything she knew about the horse business.
Beyond their shared interests on the farm, they were quite compatible in the bedroom. Sex was enjoyable, if not a bit mundane. And Tess seemed to satisfy his needs. She’d never felt giddy or light-headed, never heard angels singing or saw fireworks when they were in bed together, but she’d written all that off as some silly schoolgirl myth.
The past few years, Jeffrey’s family had been pressuring him to choose a wife and give them grandchildren. And though she and Jeffrey had discussed the subject of marriage—his marriage—their conversations had always just danced around her part in the equation. She knew he loved her. He’d told her that on a number of occasions. In her heart, she believed a marriage proposal was the next logical step.
So why did it feel as if she were settling? Perhaps, she was just too practical to lose herself in the pursuit of some fantasy man. In truth, she had a hard time imagining any relationship in which she could completely surrender her heart. The wounds of her childhood ran far too deep.
Tess studied her reflection in the mirror behind the bar. She’d taken special care with her appearance, knowing she’d want to look her best for the photos that would be taken. She’d chosen a dress of garnet Thai silk that shimmered with black and gold highlights as she moved.
A rhinestone necklace circled her neck, leaving the rest of her shoulders and chest bare.
Her attention was caught by the reflection of a man who had appeared at the other end of the bar. She studied his reflection silently, listening as he requested a bottle of scotch. He was the kind of gorgeous she didn’t see very often, at least not working on a horse farm. Her stomach fluttered and she turned away, drawing a deep breath.
Tess ran her fingers through the soft curls of her shoulder-length hair, pushing the dark strands back into place. Though she wasn’t a great beauty, she was pretty enough. Standing at Jeffrey’s side, they made a handsome couple. If she set her mind to it, she could pass as someone who belonged in the Beales’ social circle.
Tess took one last sip of her drink, then opened her purse and paid