Tess rolled over onto her side and sighed. She hadn’t relived that scene for many years. It had lost much of its power over her now, no longer producing the flow of tears it once could.
So. Her father was dead. She knew she ought to be able to summon even a tiny bit of grief, but could not. Her memory of him was now relegated to that last day. Her love for him disappeared sometime in the years after his leaving. She was glad she’d impulsively thrown away the lawyer’s letter. The sooner she got over this latest memory surge, the better. She closed her eyes and let her mind drift through the years until sleep, at last, came.
“COFFEE?”
“Great,” said Tess, “but let me make it. Yours is always too weak.” She pushed her chair back from the kitchen table and went to the counter.
Mavis shook her head. “I don’t know how you can get to sleep at night after drinking that stuff.”
“I usually go to bed so late nothing can keep me awake.”
“You’re working too hard, love. That’s why you fell asleep. An hour’s nap has done you some good, but it doesn’t make up for a real break. Tell me about this holiday cruise you’ve booked.”
Tess finished measuring out the coffee, poured water into the machine and turned it on before responding. She’d known Mavis would get around to asking about the cruise eventually, but wished the question hadn’t arisen that night.
“It’s kind of up in the air right now,” she said.
Mavis raised an eyebrow. “Does that mean you’re flying instead?”
Tess laughed. “Good one, Mavis.”
“Seriously, don’t tell me you’re not taking that holiday. You’ve been talking about it for months.”
Tess turned away. But not in the last few weeks I haven’t. She took her time, getting milk from the fridge, mugs from the cupboard. Anything to postpone the inevitable. She didn’t look Mavis in the eye until she sat down in her chair again. When she did, the expression in her guardian’s face told her she wasn’t going to be able to hide the truth any longer.
“I’m having second thoughts,” Tess began.
“About the cruise?”
Tess got up and poured the coffee, then carefully sat down again. She wondered if an evasive strategy would work with Mavis. “There’s so much work at the office right now. A big merger coming up. It’s all hush-hush so I can’t give you any details but…”
“Tess, love, I’m not going to be calling up my stockbroker in the morning. So get on with it.”
Her blue eyes zoomed in on Tess. Scratch the evasive strategy. Tess laughed. “I can’t keep anything from you, Mavis.”
“And why would you want to?” Mavis’s voice assumed a tone of mock hurt. Then, reading Tess’s mind, she added, “I know you want me to stop pestering you—and I will—but I’m curious. I thought you and Douglas had made all the arrangements.”
“We had,” Tess said, her voice low. She stared down into her coffee.
“And?”
There was no putting her off, Tess thought. She sighed and set her coffee mug down on the table. “I haven’t seen him for almost two weeks.”
The eyebrow arched again, but Mavis said nothing.
“The last time I saw him we had an argument and I’m afraid…well, I guess I said some pretty blunt things.”
Mavis nodded thoughtfully. “Then what happened?”
Did the woman ever give up? “Nothing. He hasn’t called.”
“So the cruise—?”
“I canceled my half.” Tess picked some fluff off her skirt, avoiding Mavis’s face. When she glanced up, Mavis was staring at her as if she’d lost her mind. “I had cancellation insurance,” Tess murmured. “I got back most of my money.”
“That’s not the point, dear. You need a holiday. You’ve been working ten- and twelve-hour days, six days a week, I’m sure, for the last six months.”
“Comes with the promotion, Mavis. I explained that when they made me Vice President of Marketing.”
“But Douglas? The lad dotes on you.”
Tess glanced down again, this time to hide a grin. Douglas Reed—the company’s wheeling and dealing head lawyer—was no lad. Probably never had been, Tess thought, even when he was a kid. And the doting part certainly had applied a year ago, but not recently.
How could she explain to Mavis what had happened when Tess scarcely knew herself? Douglas Reed’s aggressive, confident courting style had been exhilarating and flattering in the beginning. But over the past few months, Tess had suspected his feelings for her had more to do with image than true love. She knew from comments he’d made that dating an executive from Balfour International was important to his own career plans. His hints about a future together envisioned a team on a meteoric ascent—a couple who would earn a fortune between them and who’d devote their lives solely to one another. And, of course, their careers.
Not that Tess didn’t want to have a great career. She’d worked hard, putting herself through university and then going on to acquire an MBA. Success was crucial for her. She just didn’t want someone else planning her future for her.
And of course, there was the other thing. The part she couldn’t reveal to Mavis. When Douglas took her into his arms, she felt little more than a moment’s warmth. Worse still, after the first two or three times, their lovemaking had become an exercise of habit. There was no buzz, no sparkle, no whisper of magic—all the ingredients of a truly romantic relationship. Deep down inside, Tess craved the fantasy she’d imagined since she was a teenager—that someone, somewhere, was going to whisk her away.
She sighed. It hadn’t happened yet. Probably never would. And, Tess was sure, it definitely would not happen with Douglas Reed.
“Tess? Are you still with me, girl?” Mavis was leaning forward in her chair. “And what’s that sigh all about?”
Tess felt her face heat up. “Nothing. It’s just that things haven’t been great between us for a while and…well, I thought we should give each other some space.”
“In my day we’d call that breaking up,” Mavis commented. “Well, so be it. You know best what kind of man you want to settle down with.”
Tess bit down on her lower lip. She knew the remark stemmed from love for her, but Mavis simply couldn’t accept that Tess’s aim in life was not merely to marry and produce a family. Some day, perhaps. But not anytime soon.
After a long moment, Mavis asked, “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about your father?”
Tess stared down into her coffee mug. When she finally raised her head to Mavis, her reply was brisk. “No. There’s not much to say, anyway. I’ll dig that lawyer’s letter out of the wastebasket tomorrow or wait for him to call me back.”
Mavis heaved a loud sigh, suggesting she knew when to give up. “I have a feeling you want to change the subject.”
Tess didn’t answer. She drank the last of her coffee and stood up. “I should go home tonight, Mavis. I’ve got to be at work early for a meeting and if I stay here—”
Mavis nodded. “I know, love. The distance adds more time to your day. Anyway, tomorrow’s my Friday to visit Sophie and I plan to leave first thing in the morning.”
“How is she doing?” Tess asked.
Mavis shrugged.