“I won’t have an affair with you.”
There was a long pause. “You have a lot to learn about me, Heather. The only way I’d take you is in holy wedlock and that possibility is out of the question.”
Another stab wound.
Naturally a thirty-seven-year old doctor who’d lived in the bush without a wife all this time had no plans to acquire one at this late date. Heather didn’t want to hear anymore.
“Please go, Raul.”
“You know you don’t want me to.”
“Now what are you saying?” she cried out in abject frustration.
His hands balled into fists. “So help me, I wish I knew. My life is not a conventional one. Your career on the concert stage is just beginning. You’ve a glorious future ahead of you. A normal courtship is out of the question for reasons too obvious to bother discussing.
“An affair with a weekend here or there every couple of months couldn’t possibly satisfy either one of us. The only solution to our problem would be to get married at some point, or never see each other again.
“If I asked you to be my wife, you would have to walk away from the concert stage and never look back. After certain things Evan shared with me, I don’t even want to think about what it would do to your father.
“I’ll tell you right now, I’m a possessive man. I couldn’t share you with anything or anyone. If you and I were to marry, I’d want you with me every night.”
At this juncture Heather couldn’t take it all in, and sank down on the piano bench.
“My life’s work is in the bush. You would have to come to my world. There could be no compromise. In other words, Heather, I’d be doing all the taking, and you’d end up hating me.
“The environment is so hostile, it’s difficult to find health workers from my own country willing to work in the bush hospital. Someone like you would never survive there.”
She jumped up from the bench. “You don’t know that!”
“The hell I don’t!” His chest heaved. “Much as I might want you for my wife, I couldn’t risk robbing you of the life you were meant to live. You have a unique gift to give to the world. I would never ask you to make such a sacrifice.”
Before she could comprehend it, he’d undone the lock and turned the handle of the door.
“Forgive the intrusion. It will never happen again.”
He meant what he said. In about one second he was going to walk away from her and she really would have seen the last of him. She couldn’t let that happen.
“Don’t go, Raul!”
He wheeled around, grim-faced.
“Stay until tomorrow,” she begged. “If this is all we can ever have of each other, then let’s at least spend this one night together.”
His powerful body tautened. “If you’re saying what I think you’re saying, then you don’t have any idea what you’re inviting. I know in my gut you’ve never been with a man before.”
“Are you going to use the fact that I’m a virgin against me?” came her angry cry. “A few minutes ago you told me you wanted me.”
She felt his smoldering gaze.
“More than you could possibly imagine.”
“I want you, too,” she declared from her soul. “Please, Raul. Make love to me tonight. I’ve been aching for you.”
He seemed to pale beneath his tan. “You’ll regret it tomorrow.”
“If I can’t be with you tonight, then the rest of my tomorrows will never have the same meaning for me again.”
“Don’t say that,” he ground out.
“Why?” she fired at him. “Because you know it’s true?”
She could sense the battle going on inside of him.
“You’re an innocent, Heather.”
“Give me some credit, Dr. Cardenas. I’ll be twenty-six next month. Every close friend of mine is already married. In some cases they’ve started families. Since marriage doesn’t seem to be in my future any more than yours, I guess in your eyes that’s supposed to preclude my having a personal life at all.”
She turned sharply away from him, fearing he would see her tears. “Just go—”
Miraculously she felt his arms slide around her hips from behind. His touch dissolved her bones.
“You want this night together?” he murmured against the side of her neck. “So do I, amorada. Let’s not waste another second of it destroying each other. I know a place an hour from here where I can love you in total comfort and privacy.”
Raul— Her heart leaped for joy as she twisted around to meet his descending mouth.
CHAPTER THREE
WHILE Dr. Sanders and Franz sat talking in the suite her father had booked for them, Heather looked out the hotel window. The rain in Brussels hadn’t let up for three days.
Apparently this was typical for mid-September, but she hated the dark sky. Inclement weather made everything so somber. It all went to deepen the depression she’d been in throughout her concert tour of Europe. Franz hadn’t said a word, but she was her own harshest critic and hadn’t been pleased with her playing.
Since the unforgettable night she’d spent in Raul’s arms, she’d waited for a phone call or a letter asking her to meet him somewhere. Anything to let her know he couldn’t live without her and wanted her to join him in the bush. Secretly she’d been preparing for that eventuality.
But after three months of quiet on his end, she feared that no matter how much pleasure they’d given each other, he’d stuck to his original decision to never see her again.
The silence was killing her. She couldn’t fathom a future without him. Now that she’d performed her last concert for the season, she was fast reaching a crisis state because nothing sounded good to her anymore. If she couldn’t be with Raul, she didn’t want anything else.
No longer associated with Juilliard, if she chose to use New York as a base between tours her agent was in the midst of planning for her, that meant finding an apartment. Her father was eager to help her. But New York had never felt like home to her. It never would.
Once again Franz and his wife, who lived in Linz, had offered their summer house in Vienna as a semipermanent residence. She was welcome to stay there for the next year or two while she was on the concert circuit.
Neither option appealed. She would prefer to return to Salt Lake and live with her father. More than anything she wanted to stop playing concerts altogether and give music lessons while she took care of him. But he would never understand, which was why she was afraid to broach the subject.
“Honey? Come finish your breakfast and tell us what you’ve decided to do. The limousine will be taking me to the airport before long.”
She returned to the sitting area and reached for a cup of tea, the only thing she felt wouldn’t make her sick right now. Ten weeks ago the doctor had started her immunization shots including yellow fever, and she’d begun taking antimalaria pills. Throughout that time she’d had periods of nausea, which had robbed her of an appetite.
“If it’s all right with you, Franz, I’d like to stay in Vienna, at least for the time being.”
He slapped his hands on his knees before jumping to his feet. “Excellent! I have dozens of invitations for you to perform recitals around Salzburg and Innsbruck. They will boost