She just had to work harder to remember that what she was seeing now was only a rare glimpse of the man he’d once been.
THE TWITCHES CAUGHT LEXIE’S ATTENTION.
Propped against the couch at Lexie’s feet, Jackson had fallen asleep soon after the movie started. The twitching had begun about twenty minutes later. Still, he seemed fine, until the movie’s credits started to roll.
“Don’t. No.” Jackson muttered and turned his head from side to side. “Come back.”
“Is he having a bad dream?” Heidi asked.
“Don’t! Alek, no!” Sweat covered Jackson’s brow. His leg bucked, as if fighting to move.
“Mom?” Heidi scooted closer to Lexie.
“It’s just a dream.” Lexie put her arm around Heidi’s shoulders. She raised her voice. “Jackson, wake up. You’re dreaming.”
“The fire! Alek!” Jackson’s face scrunched up as if he were in pain.
The hair rose on the back of Lexie’s neck. Without thinking, she knelt next to Jackson, placing her hands on his shoulders. “Jackson.” She shook him gently. “You’re dreaming.”
“Don’t!” He sat bolt upright and gripped her arms above her elbows. Glazed eyes stared into hers.
“You’re fine. Everything’s fine. It was a bad dream,” Lexie said soothingly.
A violent shudder rippled through Jackson. He drew a deep breath. Then he seemed to return to wakefulness. At least his eyes blinked. His grip was starting to numb Lexie’s arms.
“Dad, you’re scaring me,” Heidi said in a small voice.
“Jackson.” Lexie pulled back slowly until his hands fell away.
Jackson washed a hand over his face. As quickly as he had snapped to awareness, he was gone.
Before she realized what she was doing, Lexie had pushed herself up off the floor and was following Jackson out the door. If he left like this, he’d never get to sleep later.
Jackson was opening the door to his truck when she reached the porch.
“Wait.”
The sun had gone down and the blue sky had given way to purple, casting Jackson’s face in shadow when he turned to face her.
“Wait,” she repeated, hurrying over to him.
Jackson stood outside his truck, watching her ungainly approach. “You shouldn’t move so quickly.”
“Then, don’t run out like that.” Lexie panted from the exertion it took to make her body move that fast. “Who’s Alek? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. No one.” He wouldn’t look at her.
Of course he’d say that. Lexie sighed. Why did she expect him to open up to her when he hadn’t done so in years? “I don’t know why I followed you out here. I guess I was worried. Never mind. Some things never change.”
Jackson stepped after her and caught her hand when she would have returned to the house. Against her better judgment, Lexie found herself facing him in the deepening shadows.
He clasped her other hand.
“Jackson—” Lexie warned, even as she felt her heart beat faster at his touch.
“I’ve missed you, Lex.”
Uh-oh. This was how she’d gotten into trouble the day they’d signed the divorce papers. “I should go inside.”
“We’re friends, right? Talk to me.”
She could hear the smile in his voice. He was turning on the charm, turning the attention from his problems to something he wanted to talk about. For some unexplained reason, Lexie’s voice and motor skills were conspicuously absent. She could only stand and listen.
“Two hearts destined to be together,” Jackson lowered his voice, quoting a phrase that had been part of their wedding vows.
The intimacy of the night, the feel of his hands clasped around hers, standing facing each other as they had on their wedding day… Lexie’s eyes filled with tears of regret. She wished the porch light were on so that she could break the spell between them.
She took a shuddering breath and tried to pull back, but Jackson held on to her.
Jackson searched the sky above them. “The first stars are beginning to shine, Lex. Tell me, what’s your dream?”
Lexie’s breath caught in her throat. It was a silly game they’d indulged in when they were younger—wishing on the first star of the evening. She’d wished for another baby, and later, when they learned a second child wasn’t in their future…
“Do you still wish for a business of your own?” Jackson completed her thought.
“How can you remember my dreams and not remember the important stuff?” Like Heidi’s birthday or their anniversary.
“I’ve always told you your dreams are important. Everyone says you should sell those marinades you make—”
“And call them Hot Shot Sauces. I haven’t forgotten.” She’d given up on making her people-pleasing spicy marinades a paying reality. His dream had always been to be a Hot Shot, like his father. His dream was a reality.
He cupped her cheek. “I don’t want to argue.”
“Me, neither.” It felt too good standing here in the darkness with her hands in his. Lexie knew that tomorrow the sun would come up and he’d still be the man who wouldn’t open up to her. She’d give herself sixty seconds more of the fantasy that Jackson was perfect for her, and then she’d gather her strength and return to the house.
As if sensing he’d pushed some limit, Jackson said, “You’ll remind me tomorrow why we can’t be together, won’t you?” His words were tangled with bitterness. “Damn it, Lex.”
“Don’t.” She placed her fingers over his lips. His warm breath wafted across her skin. She’d done her duty. She’d soothed whatever had unsettled him inside so that he had a better chance of getting some sleep. “I’m going inside now.”
Lexie felt his lips tighten as if in a frown. She pulled her fingers back and rested her hand on her belly.
He released her other hand.
“Before you go, can you…can you tell me about Deb?”
Lexie had to close her eyes against the tears. Deb was Lexie’s best friend, and had been since high school. “You heard she’s dying.” Leaving behind two beautiful, nine-year-old twin girls. Lexie stroked the baby in her tummy.
“Logan wouldn’t tell me much.”
“She’s got an inoperable brain tumor. By the time they diagnosed her, it was too late for chemo.” Lexie swallowed against the dryness in her throat, and tried to lighten her tone. “You should see her. She’s so strong and brave about it, it makes you feel guilty when you feel like crying in front of her.”
He leaned back against the truck. “And the girls?”
“They’re scared, but I don’t think they believe she’s really going to die. They still believe their mom is invincible. Logan’s the one who treats her like glass. I don’t talk with him much about Deb.”
He mulled that over for a bit. “Thanks for telling me.”
“You’re welcome.” Lexie turned back to the house. She’d survived that encounter well. They hadn’t hugged or kissed. She hadn’t ended up in a motel room with him. They seemed to be almost on friendly terms. Lexie thought she could handle their relationship turning into friendship.
“Lex?”