A cynical smile spread across Dad’s face, colored with sadness. “Yes.”
Cash froze. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. Cirrhosis of the liver. End-stage. I wanted to see you before I…go. To apologize for the way I treated you and your mom.”
“It’s been twenty years.”
“I know.”
“You couldn’t have apologized before now?”
“I should have.”
“I thought you didn’t care.”
Frank stared at him. “For a long time I thought I didn’t, about either you or your mother.”
“Yeah, I got that.”
Frank met Cash’s bitter smile with a grim one of his own.
“I know I don’t deserve a thing from you—”
“You got that right.”
“—but I want you to know that you and your mom were the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“It sure didn’t feel that way.”
Frank glanced away and nodded. “It took losing you two for me to realize it.”
“So, what do you want from me? Money?” Man, that bitterness was giving everything Cash said a real hard edge.
“No, son. Nothing. I came for you, not for me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was a rotten role model. You never got married and had kids.”
“That has nothing to do with you.” So what if Frank’s concerns echoed his own? He’d tried to find someone to settle down with—honest to God he had—but that was nobody’s business but Cash’s. Particularly not Frank’s.
Frank had never appreciated Cash and his mom, yet Frank thought he had to right to criticize Cash for not having married yet?
You’ve been worried about that yourself a lot lately.
So what? That’s my right. Not Frank’s.
Besides, Cash was only thirty-six. Who knew what could happen in the next few years?
Frank raised a placating hand. “Okay. I’m sorry. For everything.”
Frank’s dry-eyed apology moved Cash more than tears would have. What he wouldn’t have given for this sincere, humbled man to have been his father twenty years ago. Cash resisted the apology.
“You’re a dollar short and a day late. I don’t need anything from you.”
“I can see that, Cash. You’ve done well for yourself. I asked around.”
“Who did you talk to?” Someone here in town? Cash felt a moment’s panic.
“Don’t worry. I did it long distance. You have a good reputation in the area.” Frank stood. “You’re a better man than I was. I’m proud of you.”
“Am I supposed to go all gooey and soft now? After you neglected me and mom during the marriage and since the divorce?”
“I know. It’s not much, is it? But it’s true.”
He didn’t know what to say. The man looked bad enough to elicit sympathy, but all of those years of anger backed up in Cash’s throat. Choked him. Strangled every decent word he might have said.
Frank gripped the door handle and Cash’s heart rate kicked up despite his anger, the child in him preparing to watch his father walk out of his life again.
“I just hope you find a good woman to love,” Frank said. “And don’t waste the opportunity like I did with your mother.”
“Don’t you worry about me,” Cash countered. “There are plenty of women in town who’d be happy to take up that position.”
Cash wasn’t boasting. He knew it from experience.
“Good.” Frank opened the door to leave.
Cash held his tongue. They’d said enough.
“I know you won’t believe me, Cash, but I love you.”
With that Frank was gone.
In the weighty silence left behind, Cash breathed heavily, trying not to succumb to regret and maudlin sympathy. Frank had forged his own way.
Cash’s hands formed into fists and he leaned on them on the desk, hard, so he wouldn’t run after Frank.
Even so, when the doorknob turned, his heart lifted.
But it wasn’t Frank.
His deputy, Wade Hanlon, stepped in, ready to relieve Cash as he did every night.
Hating himself for it, Cash rushed past Wade out the door, looking both ways up and down Main Street. Just past the edge of town a car veered off the road and rumbled onto the unpaved shoulder. A ball of dust enveloped it before it righted itself into the lane. The rusted old junker.
Dad.
When the dust cleared, Cash could just barely tell that the car he was driving was the old junker that had been parked in front of the station.
Dad didn’t have money.
Cash started to run. To catch it.
Dad. Stop.
He’d made it a block before someone honked, startling him to a halt. Timm Franck eased his old pickup closer and rolled down the window. “Hey, Cash, are you okay? What are you doing in the middle of the road?”
Had he actually run out into the street to chase Dad?
He’d just made a fool of himself on Main Street.
Had anyone else seen Frank? Had they realized he was related to Cash? These were Cash’s people, Timm a good buddy, but they knew nothing about his past. He intended to keep it that way. Cash settled on a lie. “I was trying to catch someone speeding through town.”
“On foot?” Timm laughed. “That’s a new one.”
“I saw a car rushing past, tried to get the plate number.”
Timm smiled. He’d bought the lie. “Wonder who it was?”
“I didn’t recognize the car. Someone driving through, I guess.”
He’d always promised himself he’d be a better man than Dad, but here he was, lying to a friend.
How could he stand here and behave so calmly when his stomach was turning somersaults? Because you learned a long time ago to bury emotion. Mom had done enough crying for the both of them and Cash had learned to be the strong one.
“See you later,” he told Timm and strode back to the office.
Everything was fine. He was fine.
* * *
SHANNON CALLED HER superior at the Domestic Field Division of the DEA in Denver.
“Have you found anyone to help me out?” she asked Sam Morgans.
“Nothing’s changed since you called yesterday. We’re working at max. I’ve got no one to send to Ordinary right now.”
“You’ve got me.”
“You’re on vacation—one I practically begged you to take. Remember?”
“I remember, but—”
“Stop. There’ve been plenty of studies. Police officers working in stressful positions need regular time away from the job.”
“I know. I’m on vacation, okay?”
“Good.