He propped his elbows on his desk, closed his eyes, and buried his face in his hands, hoping that by doing so, he might be able to think about something else, visualize something other than Rita’s dark, soulful eyes and her lush mouth. But he couldn’t stop replaying the image of her nibbling her lip the way she had, and he couldn’t halt the heat that swept through him when he remembered it. He could still hear the sound of her soft sigh and her reverently whispered “Oh, my” as she opened the box with the crystal heart, and that, too, filled him with a strange sort of warmth unlike anything he had ever felt before.
She had liked her gift, he realized, relief coursing through him like a slowly thawing springtime stream. And she had been wearing the bracelet and pin, too, just as she had worn them at work every day since he’d left them for her. Something about that gladdened Matthew, as if there was a little part of him she kept with her every day, even if she didn’t realize it herself.
Surely, he thought further, there was something wrong with him, finding a guilty sort of pleasure in a secret he was sharing with no one.
No, he immediately corrected himself, dropping his hands from his face to place them resolutely on his desk. He did not have a crush on Rita Barone. It wasn’t that at all. He focused his gaze on the opposite wall of his office, the one hung with his degrees and awards and commendations. He wasn’t the kind of man to have crushes. He was far too pragmatic and accomplished.
He admired Rita Barone, he told himself, that was all. Admired her on a professional level, and nothing more. Surely there was nothing wrong with admiring a co-worker. Nor was there anything wrong with being unable to verbally articulate that admiration. There were plenty of people who were uncomfortable expressing such sentiments. Matthew had never been one for the touchy-feely sharing of emotions—none of the Graysons were—and God knew he wasn’t about to start now.
He admired Rita Barone, he told himself again, more adamantly this time. He respected her dedication to her work, and he appreciated her ability to relate to patients in a kind and caring fashion.
Take last February, with a homeless man named Joe. Rita had calmed the man’s fears, and stayed by his side throughout his open-heart surgery. Because of her, the old man had made a total recovery.
Matthew had been amazed by her kindness and nurturing during that time. He’d envied her then—and still did—the gift she had for relating to and sympathizing with others, two things he’d never been able to master himself. Of course, there was a reason for that, but it didn’t keep Matthew from feeling diminished in that regard. As he’d watched Rita interact with Joe, Matthew had been touched on a level where he’d never felt anything before.
Back in February, he’d wanted to do something to let Rita know how much he had appreciated her help with Joe. Since he was uncomfortable vocalizing such things, he’d decided to leave some small token of his gratitude in her mail slot instead. He’d seen the bandaged heart pin in the hospital gift shop, and he’d thought it would make an appropriate gift. He’d written a note of thanks to leave with it, but the day had been so hectic, he’d forgotten to include it. He’d also forgotten that the day in question was Valentine’s Day.
It was only later, when he began to hear the rumors about Rita Barone’s secret admirer that he realized what he had done. The last thing he’d wanted to do at that point was identify himself and risk being labeled Rita’s secret admirer by the hospital grapevine. That would have only led to teasing, and Matthew hated to be teased. There was a reason for that, too, but no one would have cared. All he’d known then was that he couldn’t let himself be fingered as Rita Barone’s secret admirer. So he’d tossed the note in the garbage and kept his mouth shut.
Of course, that didn’t explain why he’d felt compelled to leave her another gift last month, on her birthday, or a third gift this evening, on the anniversary of her start at Boston General. Hell, it didn’t explain why he even knew those dates. And it certainly didn’t explain why he’d deliberately made sure those gifts were given anonymously. What did explain that, Matthew thought now, was…
Ah, dammit. He didn’t have an explanation for it.
Sure, you do, he told himself sarcastically. You admire her. On a professional level. There’s nothing more to it than that. Even if she does have the kind of dark, soulful eyes a man could get lost in forever and never find his way back.
Oh, stop it, Matthew commanded himself. You’re getting maudlin in your old age.
And old was often how he felt around Rita Barone. Old and scarred and beastly.
Enough! he shouted inwardly. He had plenty to occupy his mind at the moment other than thoughts of a certain dark-eyed, dark-haired nurse that made him feel foolish. He had surgery scheduled early tomorrow morning, and he had yet to make his final rounds. Rita Barone was the last thing he should be thinking about. She was his co-worker, nothing more. And she was too young and spirited and beautiful to be interested in someone old and scarred and beastly.
And even if there was the potential for something to develop between them—which was highly unlikely—her family was the nouveau riche Barone clan, while his own was old-money Bostonian. The Graysons had come over on the Mayflower, for God’s sake, and they never let anyone forget it. The Barones, on the other hand, had come over in steerage. They came from humble beginnings and had only recently made their fortune, and in the Italian ice-cream business, of all things. Talk about your frivolous pursuits. The Graysons, by and large, were financiers. Much more respectable work—at least, as far as the elder Graysons were concerned.
No, there was no way his parents would ever approve of a Grayson–Barone merger, and they’d make things very difficult for Matthew—and for Rita, too. Especially after the sordid, scandalous stories that had been splashed across the tabloids last month about one of Rita’s sisters. He vaguely remembered something about suggestive photos better suited to men’s magazines than respectable newspapers. Not that the tabloids were in any way respectable. But they were read. Doubtless the photos had never been meant for public consumption, but consumed by the public they had been—rabidly. And although the old-money Bostonians might turn their noses up at scandal and gossip, it certainly didn’t keep them from gossiping about scandal. There was no way Matthew’s mother would let any of the Barones come near her family or her home.
Not that it mattered. There were just too many things that didn’t mesh between Matthew and Rita for there to be anything to worry about, he told himself again. Therefore, he wouldn’t worry about it.
And he wouldn’t think about her dark, soulful eyes.
Two
Rita was absolutely beat when she finally got home just after midnight. Not surprisingly, the brownstone on Paul Revere Way looked dark and quiet as she climbed the handful of steps to the front door and unlocked it. Her older sister Gina had moved out last month, after marrying Flint Kingman, and Rita and Maria were still trying to find a suitable tenant for the empty top-floor apartment. And her younger sister Maria was doubtless just out, as she so often seemed to be these days.
In fact, Maria had been going out way more often than usual lately, Rita reflected as she locked the door behind herself. Which was surprising, because Maria didn’t have a steady boyfriend, or much of a social life outside of her work managing the original Baronessa Gelateria on Hanover Street. She used to be home as often as Rita was. But for the past couple of months she’d been out quite a lot, something that suggested there might be someone special in her life. But Maria hadn’t mentioned meeting anyone, and Rita certainly hadn’t seen her with anyone out of the ordinary.
As she stepped into the foyer of the brownstone, she realized immediately that she was indeed alone. The first floor of the four-story brick building served as a kind of community