The Will to Love. Lindsay McKenna

a pragmatic person, Corporal Grayson.”

      “When you’re in a war, reality is the name of the game. You’re a cop. You must understand that,” he said gruffly, then regretted his harsh tone. He watched as she carefully spooned up a mouthful of eggs and started chewing. The look on her face was one of pure pleasure. She closed her eyes.

      “Mmm…I never thought eggs could taste so good….”

      If someone felt guilty right now, it was Quinn. The hollowness in Kerry’s cheeks told him more than he wanted to know.

      “How long, really, since you ate last?”

      Sighing, Kerry opened her eyes. “Probably twenty-four hours or more.”

      Quinn reached down and pulled out a canteen filled with water.

      “Here. You’re probably thirsty, too.”

      As she took the dark green canteen, her fingers met his briefly. Kerry absorbed his touch. The look in his eyes was predatory and assessing. “You don’t miss much, do you?” There was a wry note in her voice as she set the MRE aside, unscrewed the lid of the canteen and drank deeply of the proffered gift of water.

      After a moment, Kerry forced herself to stop drinking. She had to think of others, too. Reluctantly, she put down the canteen, wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and then started to replace the cap.

      “You’re not finished.”

      “Yes, I am.”

      “No, you’re not. Drink up.” Quinn hooked a thumb toward his pack. “I’ve got a gallon of water in there. More than enough for the three of us.”

      Kerry hesitated. She remembered once more those who were thirsty outside her hovel. She had heard too many squalls of infants dying of thirst. Seen too many desperate parents looking for water for their children. Her fingers tightened around the canteen, which rested on her knee.

      When Kerry hung her head, her knuckles white as she gripped the canteen, understanding hit Quinn like a steamroller. Frowning, he lowered his voice.

      “Listen to me, Kerry. I was in the Gulf War. I was over there in the worst of it. I saw a lot of people die of thirst—men, women and children. It wasn’t fair. And it wasn’t right. But the first thing you have to do is take care of yourself. You’re the only one here who has the information we need. You can’t short yourself just because people out there need water, too. Without you, this whole operation in Area Five would fall apart. I need you strong. Thinking. Not weak and unable to put two thoughts together.”

      His voice was gentle with understanding. Kerry lifted her head and drowned in his lambent blue gaze, which was fraught with emotion. Slowly, she picked up the canteen again. Taking off the top, she lifted it to her lips and drank deeply. For the first time in two weeks, she was able to drink all the water she really wanted. What a luxury!

      Wiping her mouth, she gave him a sad look. “I still feel guilty.”

      “That’s okay,” Quinn rumbled. “Life isn’t fair. It isn’t ever gonna be. You’ve earned the right to the water, and—” he gestured toward the half-eaten MRE “—the rest of this food.”

      Grimacing, Kerry handed the canteen back to him. “Thanks,” she whispered.

      “Eat.”

      “I can’t….”

      “Why not?”

      Rubbing her stomach, she gave him a helpless look. “I’ve been so long without good food that if I ate that, I’d throw up, Corporal. I’d be better off eating a crust of bread, or some crackers….”

      Wincing internally, Quinn said nothing. He pulled one of the lunch MREs toward him, tore it open and took out a handful of crackers. “Here, start with these. We’ll slowly build you up in the next day or two so you can eat regular food.”

      Kerry took the crackers and peeled off the plastic with shaky fingers. Her stomach growled, embarrassingly loud.

      “I guess my belly knows it’s going to get fed.”

      Moodily, Quinn watched as she daintily ate each cracker as if it were a priceless gift. A look of pleasure suffused her face once again as she tasted the morsels. It hurt to watch her. This was America, the richest nation on earth, and people were starving to death. The terrible reality of that slammed into him. Kerry Chelton was gaunt looking. So was Petula. And so were the men who had taken the bottled water off the Huey earlier. Everyone had obviously dropped weight. Alarmingly so. As Quinn sat there listening to Petula breathing softly in her sleep, cuddling her purple dinosaur, and watching Kerry eat each cracker as if it were a feast, rage rose in him.

      It was a rage of frustration. Flying in, he’d seen how every road in the basin, large and small, had been ripped up and torn apart by the massive earthquake. No vehicle, no convoy could possibly get through to give the people a consistent supply line of food. Now, as he sat here with Kerry and the little girl, the human side of the disaster was brought home to him in a way he’d never thought he’d see in the United States.