Vanessa spent the rest of the day helping out around the motel. She, Linda and Hugh had perfected a routine of taking turns to look after Toby and Josh, taking them outside in the private garden area or playing on the living-room rug with the boys. If they were all busy, then one of the staff usually stepped in for a short time. She felt like she had the best of both worlds, and loved being able to help Linda and Hugh as well.
But tonight as she fed Josh his dinner, her heart was heavy, her mind awash with thoughts. Mike had been careless with money and no matter how hard she’d tried to save, he’d spent it as fast. They’d rented an apartment, their car had been on hire purchase, and they hadn’t owned much. She’d eventually receive compensation money from Mike’s death, but she planned on putting that into a trust account for Josh.
And none of that helped her situation right now. If she returned to Sydney she’d have to find somewhere to live. And she’d have to get a job and put Josh in day care. Or she might have to let Grace and Rupert look after him. Or heaven help her, she and Josh might have to move in with them. Already they had him booked into the right school. It had the right type of people, they’d said, and he’d make the right type of friends.
Oh, God.
Suddenly she felt like she’d been cut adrift. It was the same feeling she’d had when her mother remarried five years ago and went to live in England. She hadn’t met Mike then, and with her father having died when she was little, her job in an insurance office had been busy but it hadn’t been enough. Linda had been living in Melbourne at the time, and Linda’s four brothers and sisters were great cousins but they were older and had lives of their own. She’d felt so alone. Looking at alternatives now, she wasn’t sure what was worse.
“You’re quiet, sweetie,” Linda said from where she sat on the sofa folding washing.
Vanessa winced inwardly as she looked across the open-plan living area to her dark-haired cousin. Was she so transparent?
“Just thinking,” she said casually.
“You’re not fretting too much about what you’re going to do, are you? We’ll think of something. I promise.”
“You’ve got enough to worry about right now.”
“So one more thing won’t matter, will it?” she said, with more bravado than not, Vanessa thought. “In any case, we have a month before we have to leave here.”
Vanessa nodded, then continued feeding her son. The best thing she could do for Linda right now was stay calm and pretend she was fine. She rather suspected Linda was doing the same thing for her sake.
“By the way,” Linda said, after a few moments’ pause, “what did you think of Kirk Deverill?”
Vanessa’s mouth tightened. She hadn’t known whether to say anything to her cousin but.
“You really shouldn’t have asked him to keep me company tomorrow night. I’ll be busy helping with the party.” She didn’t dare mention the dinner invitation. Wild horses wouldn’t drag that out of her.
Linda’s eyebrows rose in disbelief. “I don’t believe it! The man’s got a ton of money and he’s a total hunk and you’re complaining about spending time with him? Cuz, he’s the catch of the century.”
“And your point is?” Vanessa said with a touch of sarcasm, then immediately felt bad.
Linda stopped what she was doing, her eyes considering her from across the room. “You don’t like him, do you?”
Vanessa went to speak her mind, then looked away to hand Josh the spoon to play with. She’d probably said enough. Kirk Deverill was too handsome for his own good and was quick to take advantage, but much as she wanted to, she wasn’t so sure she should share her opinion with her cousin.
She shrugged. “I just don’t know the guy, okay?”
Linda sighed. “Mike’s been gone six months now, sweetie. You have to get on with your life.”
Striving to ignore the empty void in her heart that the mention of her dead husband brought, Vanessa swallowed hard. Her cousin meant well. “I’m trying to get on with my life but that doesn’t mean I want you to make dates for me.”
“It wasn’t meant as an actual date. I just thought it would do you good to see new people.”
A bubble of warmth coiled around Vanessa’s heart. Her cousin was a lovely person. “I know. And thanks. But I’m not ready. I’m not sure I’ll ever be.” Would she ever be able to ignore the fear in her heart? The fear of loving and losing.
“Of course, you could always stay home tomorrow night,” Linda surprisingly suggested. “Phyllis’s granddaughter said she’d babysit but you could look after Josh and Toby yourself. I could tell Kirk you’re not feeling well or something.”
It was tempting but somehow it smacked of cowardice and Kirk would see right through it. And besides, once he learned of her circumstances she was certain that would be the end of it.
“No, I’ll be fine. I guess I can handle him for one night.”
Linda winked at her as she stood up with the folded towels. “Sweetie, that man’s worth more than a night.”
Vanessa gave a weak smile and returned to feeding her son. She had the feeling her cousin was right.
The party was in full swing by the time Kirk arrived the next evening. He was late but he’d had no choice. His housekeeper, Martha, had decided she needed to go look after her sister. He’d made a booking then arranged for one of his men to drive her to Dubbo Airport, but she’d been upset so he’d stayed with her until it was time to leave. He’d never forget how she had helped his mother cope with his father’s terminal illness.
And now he put all that out of his mind as he stood near the entrance and ordered a whiskey with one of the young males acting as a drink waiter for the night. The restaurant was crowded but there was only one person he wanted to see tonight.
Vanessa.
She was nowhere to be seen.
Just then, she came through the swinging kitchen door carrying a plate of hors d’oeuvres. An odd jolt shot through his chest. She looked incredible in a short black dress that fitted snugly against her breasts, its thin straps emphasizing her smooth neckline and shoulders, the color a glorious foil to the silken mass of her blond hair.
Without hesitation, he skirted the tables and caught up with her near a potted palm. Intense pleasure coursed through him when he saw the quick spurt of desire in those green eyes before she masked her expression.
She was even more beautiful tonight.
“Good evening, Mr. Deverill,” she said with cool politeness.
He raised a mocking eyebrow. “Mister? I’m sure you called me by my name yesterday.”
“I’m sure I called you a lot of things yesterday.”
The comment made him laugh low and husky. Then, “You look fantastic tonight.”
A blush ran over her cheeks.
Not so cool.
“Dance with me,” he murmured, wanting nothing more than to hold her in his arms and feel her moving against him.
Her gaze darted out over the dance floor in the center of the room. “Dance?”
“Surely even Cinderella can have fun at the ball?” he teased.
“I—” She looked down at the plate and began rearranging the hors d’oeuvres, the faint tremor in her hand shooting satisfaction right through him.
Then she lifted her eyes and moistened her lips. “There’s something I should—”
“Yes, there