They stayed like that for a few seconds, forehead to forehead. ‘And to think someone told me you didn’t like parties,’ she said between breaths.
Alex just pulled her close and laughed, actually felt it rumbling through him like a sound wave. ‘Hearsay,’ he said and kissed her quickly, dragging his lips away before he got lost again. ‘This is the best party I’ve ever been to.’
But she had other plans. She used the anchor of her hands to pull him close again, until he could feel her breath on his parted lips. And then it was all gone again. The lights, the roses, the whole flipping garden.
People began to stop dancing and began to whisper. Nudge each other in the sides and give each other knowing looks. But Alex didn’t notice the lull in conversation or even sense the pairs of eyes turned his way. No more monotone lines for him. His pulse was drowning it all out with a steady and emphatic bump. Alex’s hand closed around Jennie’s and he tugged at the plastic key tag, yet she couldn’t seem to let it go. She was totally terrified, and it was pathetic.
Terrified of the look of disgust in his eyes, terrified of what he was about to say—of what he might not say. Terrified she still loved him as much as ever, that the all consuming chemistry they generated together would overwhelm her. That she’d turn around and give in. But she couldn’t do that. She needed to take a stand and let him know that she was worth more than being second place in his affections. Taking the wide path that led to destruction was not an option this time. Pity, because she’d been down that road so many times she knew all the motels by name.
He was so close. Just the graze of his jacket cuff against her bare arm was enough to make her hyperventilate. She was tempted to close her eyes, wish the events of the last month away, pull him into the suite and continue the honeymoon that had been so rudely interrupted.
By him, remember. Don’t give in. Look where it got you last time—a ring on your finger, yes, but your heart in pieces.
She let him ease the key from her clenched fingers and stepped sideways, out of proximity.
His fingers weren’t shaking. He didn’t seem to have any problems functioning normally, damn him. She let out a silent sigh. She’d always known, right from that first night, that Alex was a man who knew how to be steady, who knew how to keep control, but she’d never realised he could be this cold. But, then again, why would she have done? She’d been too busy basking in the heat of a passionate whirlwind romance. Who gave thought to winter when the sun shone?
Her father had always scolded her for jumping into things with both feet, and she’d steadily ignored his criticism, believing her nothing ventured, nothing gained philosophy got her where she wanted to go. She’d been dumbstruck when she’d realised the truth—that the flip side of her approach was everything ventured, everything lost. This was what happened when you made a mess so big nobody could sweep it under the rug for you.
Alex pushed the door open and, with an economical hand gesture, indicated she should enter ahead of him.
For a moment she just stared at the scene in front of her. She and Alice and Coreen had got ready in the suite this morning, and the evidence of the chaos was still in place. A hanging rail with empty garment bags stood off to one side and there were pots of makeup and a pair of abandoned hair straighteners on the coffee table, spoiling the romantic impact this room should have had. Thankfully.
She walked into the centre of the suite’s living room and stood there, waiting for the click of the door. Dreading it. When it came, she flinched.
All she had to do now was turn around and face him. Yet she didn’t move, suddenly couldn’t take her eyes off the champagne bucket in the corner of the room. An unopened bottle remained there, surrounded with melted ice.
She heard him take a step—just one—towards her, and then there was silence.
What was wrong with the man? Did he think he’d be contaminated if he got any closer? She spun around to find him studying her closely, almost analytically.
‘The last time I saw you in that dress, you were promising to stay by my side for ever.’
She crossed her arms across her middle, uncrossed them again. ‘Believe me, if I could have worn anything else today, I would have. It wasn’t my choice. Frankly, I can’t wait to get out of it.’
And toss it out of the window, she silently added. Or burn it. It would make a very elegant bonfire.
Alex’s eyebrows rose slightly and his mouth tilted into a sarcastic smile. ‘Don’t let me stop you.’
There was literally no breath left in her body to answer him with. She tried anyway. ‘You… You’re.’
‘Insufferable? Judgemental? High-handed?’ The smile twisted his face further, and he walked towards her. ‘Heard it all before. I can keep going with adjectives until I come up with something more fitting, if you like.’
‘I… You…’
His eyes narrowed. ‘How about this for a description? The man you deserted before the ink was dry on the marriage certificate? I promise you, that’s a brand new one for me.’
Jennie wanted to laugh, but it came out as a cough. What parallel dimension was this guy living in? She felt like punching him on the nose, and she bet that’d be a brand new experience for Mr Alex Dangerfield as well.
‘I deserted you? That’s rich!’ She closed the rest of the distance between them, looked him right in the eye. ‘Who was it exactly who sat on their own in a hotel room for almost a week after her new husband had vanished into thin air? Not you, that’s for sure!’
‘You’re being ridiculous. I didn’t vanish, as you call it. You knew where I was going and why. I phoned while I was away. And I distinctly remember apologizing and promising I’d be back. What more could I have said?’
The fact that he sounded all calm and reasonable had her consider throwing that punch. Unfortunately, just as her fury reached boiling point, it evaporated, condensing into moisture that stung the backs of her eyes.
It was all the things he hadn’t said that had been the problem. For a few wonderful months, she’d been the sole recipient of all Alex’s love, devotion and attention. And, with a man as intense as Alex, that was a heady cocktail. She’d felt lit up by him. When he looked at her, it was as if she was in the beam of a scorching bright searchlight but, instead of withering under its bleaching stare, she’d come alive, sparkled all the brighter. It was where she’d thought she was supposed to be. She hadn’t cared if anyone else had paid her attention or not. All she had wanted to do was live her life in the warmth of Alex’s spotlight.
Maybe she’d been out of her mind, drunk on that feeling, but all she knew now was that when that phone call had come, his light had swung away and focused somewhere else, and she’d been left shivering in the shadows, feeling lost and hungover.
In those short, hurried phone calls, often on car journeys between appointments, he’d given her information, but never reassurance. And then a trip that had only been supposed to last a day or two had dragged on and on.
‘You never did properly explain what kept you back in England for so long.’
He opened his mouth to answer her, but she cut him off.
‘I know that Becky was injured in a car crash. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have gone, but I don’t understand why it had to be you standing at her bedside. She divorced you. Where were her family? Couldn’t they have visited her and fluffed up her pillows?’
‘I would have explained if you’d given me a chance, but it’s kind of hard to have a meaningful conversation with a dial tone!’ He looked really angry. Jennie started to get scared, but then he breathed air out through his nose and looked at her more intently. ‘She was my wife once, too, Jennie. And there are things you don’t know. About my