Dan needed to ask her about her work. How the children had fared today. He’d phoned in, but he wanted to hear more than those brief words. ‘You’d ring me if there was a problem, not wait until I checked in?’
‘Immediately.’
‘I’ll just look in on them. You don’t mind? Then you can tell me how things went today overall. I don’t want to hold you up from getting home.’ He had to be businesslike about this.
‘See them first, then I can give you a progress report.’ Jess nodded. ‘Ella’s fast asleep in her travel cot. I can wait.’
Dan disappeared to the upper reaches of the house to check on his children.
In the living room, Jess watched his receding back until he disappeared from sight.
By the time Dan returned Jess had smoothed her hair. She didn’t need to look like something that had been dragged backwards through a house, five children and a baby, she justified. She’d boiled the kettle and she tried to be very casual as she gestured, ‘Would you like tea?’
That was suitably employee-like, wasn’t it? And of course that was all Jess intended to be. Not that she’d been invited to be anything else. Not that she’d want to be invited.
Yes, you do.
No, you do not.
Dan smiled. ‘At this point a good cup of tea would be worth crushing stones with my fingers for.’
Jess laughed, a low, startled sound that filled the kitchen and wiped Dan’s face clean of the light-hearted expression that had accompanied his statement. In its place came the kind of tension that appeared in kitchens in the middle of the night when two people stood close together over a boiling kettle with nothing but silence around them. And a man’s smile that had softened a girl’s heart just a little more than she was ready for, so that she forgot to be careful and just enjoyed him for a moment.
Well, that kind of enjoying had to stop, didn’t it?
‘I’ll make the tea, then.’ Jess swung about to get cups down from the cupboard.
‘I’ll get the milk from the fridge.’ He gestured, as though maybe they’d both forgotten where the appliance stood in splendour in the corner of the room beside the dishwasher.
They put together their teas and carried them into the living room. Dan sat in a recliner.
Jess sat on the couch. She had a view of Dan in half profile. How could he look so gorgeous from every conceivable direction?
It must be the distinguishing effect of his age, Jess. You know—the age that means he’s a whole generation older than you are and therefore completely unsuitable to be interested in. And that’s not even mentioning the fact that you are working for him.
And then there was Luke’s attitude. Jess could imagine how well something between his father and the new carer would go down with Dan’s eldest son.
Maybe the boy still missed his mother and couldn’t deal with the thought of Dan finding someone else.
Jess’s heart softened at that, for how could she blame Luke for his grief?
‘Mary’s quiet. I’m working to draw her out more. Rob likes to talk but I told him I have big ears, I can fit it all in.’
‘You don’t.’ Dan uttered the words and dropped his gaze to his tea. ‘Have big ears.’
‘Well, no.’ Jess cleared her throat as Dan lifted his cup to his mouth. She didn’t bring up Luke. Jess would rather try to win the boy over, give it some time and see how things went. Instead, she broached the other potentially awkward topic. ‘Daisy asked about how babies are made.’
Dan’s cup shifted in a slight, involuntary movement before he carefully put it down. ‘I see. Perhaps you’d better tell me.’
‘Well, she’s an inquisitive girl. It goes with her kind of intelligence, I think?’ No need to blush over something that was as simple as pelicans versus storks. ‘It’s just, if you haven’t already given her that talk, I think it might be a good idea if you did it quite soon. I know she’s only ten, but schools are fairly forward about those issues these days, and Daisy’s very curious. Today it was why other children believe in the stork and cabbages. A week later it could be asking for an explanation about stem cell research or something equally tricky. I have a suspicion she might already know the, well, at least some of the mechanics about all that, so, you know—’ Jess waved a hand ‘—maybe a father’s perspective to help keep her comfortable as a child her age should be about the whole topic?’
Dan gave Jess one brief, trapped look. ‘I can’t ask you—’
To tell his daughter about it in a way that should come from a loving parent that Daisy trusted? Jess didn’t want to even think about the topic while she was in the room with Dan and her heart was doing silly things in her chest.
But for Daisy…
‘I could.’ She bit her lip and rushed on. ‘Talk to her, I mean.’ The man was quivering in his boots at the thought of talking birds and bees with his daughter, not thinking about trying to investigate birds and bees with Jess.
Shut up, Jess. No, talk up. About Daisy. ‘I could talk to her, but I really think this is something that needs to come from her dad.’ She sought Dan’s gaze and quickly looked away again. ‘I think she might feel awkward talking with me about it.’
Jess drew a breath. ‘Maybe once you’ve talked to her, you could get her a few books to read that explore related topics. Growing or waning numbers of children per family in various countries might be one area that could interest her. All sorts of things tie in with that. Politics, economics, religion.’
‘Thanks.’ Dan finally caught her gaze and held it. ‘Aside from my daughter throwing you in the deep end, was everything else okay?’
‘I think we all had a reasonable day, really.’ Jess delved into another couple of issues with Dan, asked if he’d mind if she took them all into town tomorrow. It wasn’t that far to walk and if they left early…
‘That’d be fine provided you’re comfortable the traffic won’t be an issue if you’re all on foot?’
He’d lived in a city.
Jess had, too, before she moved here. ‘There’s a pedestrian walk all the way from here into town. We’ll stay on it, but traffic is always quite light anyway.’
He nodded. ‘I’ll be leaving for Sydney again early, but I’ll have the weekend at home. Thank you, Jess, for taking this on to help me.’
Dan wasn’t comfortable with needing her help, and his care for his children shone through in every word he spoke. Jess…well, she found that attractive about him. Probably not surprising when she’d been hurt by a man who had not only wanted nothing to do with recognising his baby, but had insisted on writing an agreement to silence Jess on the topic for ever.
She’d signed. By then she’d realised how little Peter Rosche had truly ever cared about her and that she couldn’t expose Ella to how much her father didn’t want her. Dan loving his children to pieces, yes, Jess did find that appealing, but she needed to admire it from afar, not want to acknowledge it on any kind of personal level.
‘Do you know how to drive a van the size of mine, Jess? I’ll fit the baby seat back into it tonight, for Ella. I still have ours from when Annapolly needed it.’ Dan’s gaze shifted over her, perhaps to assess whether he thought she could manage the larger vehicle.
Perhaps because, like Jess, he struggled not to notice her? To be aware?